Living

Recently a few elements of living in Saudi have begged to be recorded. Finn is napping, Taryn is napping, and Kenna just stopped fussing, so it's precisely now or never!

Living in Saudi Arabia is difficult.  I think (hope) that some of the things that make it especially difficult will be easier once we are moved to main camp but a lot of things will still be the same.  I wanted to record some of the funny or hard things that have happened in the last few weeks just so I don't forget them.  Most of the time we can laugh at the bizarre things that happen here.  Once in a while it feels like you're running a race and Saudi runs up next to you and punches you in the face.  Then if you laugh and keep running, Saudi two hand pushes you in the dirt, kicks you in the stomach, and runs away.  Those days I stay down for a bit and usually cry.  But then the next day we get back up and start running again because we just can't let Saudi beat us.  We're Makechnies after all.  We do hard things.  

A few weeks ago I was cleaning up in the kitchen and I heard a distinct flapping noise in the ceiling.  Off and on all morning I could hear what sounded like either a large rodent or more likely a bird that was trapped somehow in the ceiling or vents in my kitchen.  Sometimes I could hear it in the ceiling and sometimes it was in the wall behind the stove.  I called maintenance and they came over and removed a vent from an exterior wall outside my kitchen and a bird flew out.  They replaced the vent with a new one and told me the problem should be solved, "Inshallah" of course.  The vent was like the AC vents in your car with flaps that you can flip open or closed.  Well the birds figured out how to perch on the vent, pry them open with their beaks, and fly in.  I called again a few days later and when the maintenance guy came he couldn't hear anything and told me that I was probably hearing the buzzing of the florescent lights in the kitchen.  I told him I was sure it was a bird but he just didn't believe me.  That night we heard the bird again and Glenn went outside and put duct tape over the vent to keep the birds from getting in but then we wondered, could this be the vent from the dryer?  In which case we shouldn't be doing laundry until we have a more permanent solution, right?  So Glenn called again the next day when he was home from work and they sent someone to put netting under the vent cover and we haven't had a problem since.  Perfect.  Now I can say I've had a bird living in my house.  That's a first.

Speaking of vents, there are vents in several rooms in our house.  They're little 4 inch circles with a little cover in every bathroom and in the kitchen and laundry rooms.  If we're not careful to turn the AC on all the time, somehow the pressure backs up and we get horrible sewer-like smells wafting up from those vents within minutes.  It's terrible.  And that's in addition to the smells that we get probably once a week just outside in our compound.  It's like a really strong sulfur/sewage smell.  It's horrible.  Glenn thinks it's due to all the rotting matter at low tide considering our compound is directly next to the ocean.  Whatever it is, it's super stinky.

Last week I saw a lizard in our house.  It was pretty large.  Maybe 8 inches.  I made some feeble attempts to catch it.  There may have been a few childish squeals.  But then I lost it.  I saw it again a few days later but then I haven't seen it since.  It's funny how I was really nervous every time I went past the place where I saw it for a few days and then the scared and startled feeling just sort of wears off after a while.  It's probably still in here.  But as long as I don't see it, I can forget about it most of the time.

The last few weeks have brought a few doctors appointments.  It's really difficult for me to get us to main camp now that I have two new babies and Finn in tow.  I could do the bus if I had some help but it would be difficult on my own.  Luckily, I have an incredible VT who has access, as part of her living situation, to a personal driver all the time.  So for my appointment, and two of the girls appointments, she came to our villa with her car, helped me get everyone buckled in the car, drove us to main camp, and stayed with me during the appointments to help get the babies undressed for weighing and feed them when they both got hungry at once.  It was a huge help.  A couple of times, Finn had a play date with a new friend from fellowship here on camp while I took the girls to their appointments.  We've had so much help making these appointments work in the really early weeks of the girls lives.  Without a doubt the most difficult part of having twin babies so far has not actually been the caring for the babies.  They have been so sweet and easy.  The hardest part has been living on Rakah camp in Saudi Arabia.  The feeling of isolation out here is so intense some days.  Getting around in the states with three kids would be difficult, but I could still put all three in the car and get to Target or any number of parks or museums or just a friends house across town for the morning.  But here, I'm so trapped and getting anywhere is SO much harder.  So when there are times when I have to be somewhere, and people really offer to help and make things go smoother, it's so invaluable and incredibly endearing.  I'm grateful to have people around me right now who I can talk to when I need to vent or laugh about the absurdity of life here and how isolated we are as stay at home moms on a little satellite camp, and who I can ask for help when I can't do things on my own.

At one of my doctor's appointments I had Finn with me and at one point we started making funny noises that morphed into pig snorts.  We were both laughing so hard and the nurse who was taking my vitals asked, "what is that sound?"  I replied, "He's just making pig noises."  She said, "What is he doing?  What noise is that?"  And I told her again, "He's making noises like a pig."  She looked at me with a really confused look and then shrugged her shoulders, deciding to let it go.  Then it hit me that the kids in Saudi Arabia don't grow up learning what a pig says.  There are no pigs.  So our grown woman nurse did not have any idea what the noise was that we were making.  Wow.  I hope we didn't offend her in some way!

Clothes shopping here is an adventure.  I've been feeling really stuck physically lately.  I'm trying to eat better and I work out at least once a day, sometimes Glenn works out with me again at night after the boys are in bed.  I'm trying hard.  But I'm not seeing a lot of progress yet.  I know that my body takes at least 6 months to get back down to my normal shape.  I know that.  But I don't have the ability to just run out and get some in-between clothes that will help me feel like I look decent in the meantime.  It's hard to get out to shop here.  So I've been making do in my two pair of pants that fit and maybe 5 shirts that sort of fit, for weeks.  I finally got fed up and had Glenn take me shopping last Saturday.  I tried to shop at a few stores that we have in the states and was so disappointed.  The fits are different, the style is different, the quality is really different.  It was so disappointing to realize that even at the same stores, I may not find clothes that fit me at all, or if they do, I may not like the clothes and all for at least half again as much more than I would ever pay in the states.  Also, there are no dressing rooms in stores in Saudi Arabia.  If you think you may want to try something on you have to buy it, take it to the nearest bathroom where there are a few dressing rooms and then if it doesn't fit you have to go back to the store to return it.  Here's the tricky part.  I bought a bunch of stuff at the gap, none of which fit.   So I sent Glenn back to the store to return it while I moved on to another store.  We were trying to fit in as much as we could with only an hour before prayer time.  They wouldn't let him return the clothes.  Apparently if you pay with cash, you can immediately return things but if you pay with a credit card, you can't return things until the next day.  Oh and also, you only have a 3 day window to return things.  I was so frustrated by these just plain stupid policies.  Actually, they're kind of brilliantly for the stores but so inconvenient for us.  Now we have to make another trip to the mall which means Glenn stops on his way home from work or we all head out in the evening and try to plan around prayer time, and we have to make it happen in the next three days or we can't return them at all.  Oh yes, and then there was another hilarious return policy at a different store.  I bought a pair of jeans and when I got to the register I was informed that they were on sale, 100 riyals off which is like $25 bucks.  The catch, however, was that if I chose to take the sale price it meant that I couldn't return the pants.  I could still exchange them, within 7 days, but taking the sale price would make the pants un-returnable.  Wow.  What bizarre logic.  The whole "pleasing the customer thing" is completely lost in Saudi Arabia.  

And the piece de resistance, my least favorite Saudi moment since the babies arrived happened last Sunday.  Tate had a Kindergarten music program at school.  I was so excited to make a big outing all by myself with the kids to go and support my little guy.  I booked a taxi 5 days in advance and checked several times on the phone that he had indeed heard the time correctly, a common theme of communications here.  It's so hard to understand people.  So he confirmed that the taxi would pick us up at 11am.  That morning was super busy.  We got Tate on the bus.  I got ready, fed the girls, changed the girls, made some muffins for our fellowship club brunch that we have every 2 weeks here on camp, packed the diaper bag, went to brunch, came home, pumped so I could feed the girls in the car or at the program without having to miss a nursing feeding, and then finished right at 11.  After 5 minutes I called the taxi office here on camp and they said, "Yes ma'am, he is just switching cars, he will be there soon."  After another 5 minutes I called again, "Yes Ma'am, he is leaving, he will be there soon."  Another 5 minutes passed.  It's now 11:15.  The program starts at 11:50 and it's at least a half an hour away.  I call again and the guy on the phone looks up my reservation and says it's not in the system until 11:30.  I lost it.  "I confirmed with him three times on the phone when I scheduled that it was at 11.  I am going to be late for my son's program.  I need a taxi NOW!"  And then he hung up on me.  I was furious.  I called back, it rang once, he picked up the phone, and hung  up again without even saying a word.  Oh no.  Oh no you didn't.  I called back and a new guy answered the phone.  I lost it on him and I asked for the name of the last guy who hung up on me.  Not that there's anyone to report him to.  And not that anything would happen at all if I did. So this guy explained again, the problem and then said that he would send a taxi down right away.  Seriously?  All this time you had a taxi sitting at the office and you didn't just send it to my villa?

By the time we got the kids loaded in the car and on the road it was 11:30.  There was no way I was going to make it.  I called Glenn to make sure he would be able to get there on time and to film it for me.  Then we got stuck in traffic.  At one traffic light, for half an hour.  The girls started screaming.  Finn had to feed them bottles in the back seat.  Thank heavens for my little Finny.  I cried in the front seat of the taxi and was so frustrated.  I got to the school, walked in and saw a friend from fellowship.  She gave me a hug and I started crying again.  Good times.  I just couldn't control my tears and there I was, in front of tons of Tate's peers, their parents and teachers, just crying because I missed the program and the picnic.  We were there for about 3 minutes before the bell rang for them to go back to class.  I wanted more time with him so we had him stay with us and took him back to class a bit late.  Glenn had planned to pick up pizza from the commissary for our little post-program picnic but after he ordered it, it got really backed up and he didn't have time to wait for it so he just picked up some other food and ran out.  Another lady from fellowship had some extra cheese bread and gave us some as she was leaving which was awesome.  Tate threw it down and told me about his program and then we walked him back to class.  

The thing is, I know that Tate is fine.  I know that he understands that I tried my best and he wasn't even the least bit sad about me missing everything.  But I'm ticked.  I'm so frustrated that I spent the whole morning getting everyone ready and did all the planning and prepping that I could and it was still out of my hands.  The taxi showed up half an hour late and then we got stuck in awful traffic.  It's just so hard to be the kind of mom I want to be here.  Sometimes Tate comes home from school with an idea for a craft that they did in school and I have to tell him, "Sorry buddy.  I don't have those supplies and maybe we can get them this weekend with Dad but I can't get out to get them for you right now."  Back home "mom wins" just came so much easier.  I could run to target and pick up holiday decorations or craft or costume supplies and be back in 25 minutes.  I could run to the grocery store for that one thing I forgot for dinner or some spur of the moment snack I wanted to make with the kids.  I wouldn't miss a school program unless there was some kind of emergency because I lived around the corner.  I guess I'm a bit of a control freak and having so much of my life and schedule here completely out of my control feels like a punch in the face some days.  

Some days it's absolutely crazy living in Saudi Arabia.  Running this race every day is exhausting and I feel like I finish many days sort of beat up and covered in dust but we're still running.  We're still living.  My four children are happy and healthy.  They don't seem to be the least bit bothered by the crazy stuff and the inconveniences.  They think having rain in their bedroom is kind of cool.  They think having a bird living in their ceiling is pretty funny.  They're doing incredibly well with the limitations here and their well-being is our job as parents so I guess we're doing pretty well after all.