Dear Taryn,

Dear Taryn,

You are five.  Oh my heart just broke a teensy bit typing those words.  It feels like a moment ago we were bringing you and your sister home to Rakah, just tiny little people way at the bottom of those baby car seats.  You were the easiest, quietest, sleepiest little baby.  You didn't smile for just anyone and you kept your feelings pretty under wraps.  Then you turned one and we started to see who you would really become.  It seems like every year you become a little more you.  And every year we get a little different version as you figure out how you're going to master this world you're in.  Because that it what it looks like.  Watching you grow from baby girl to 5 year old has looked like watching you decide over and over again exactly how you're going to master your world this time.  Jumping and wrestling, screaming and hitting, running and hugging with your tiny muscly body so tight it's surprising.  Every year you seem to decide how you're going to dominate that year and no matter what we try to do to steer or love you into line, you go where your spirit dictates.  You are an incredible, spirited, full of fun and mischief and energy little bundle of lady.  

This year of your life we've had some pretty incredible experiences.  We spent spring break with the Browns visiting them in Malaysia and then traveling with them to Thailand.  You loved Thailand.  The beaches and adventure of it all agreed with you very much.  You can be very timid around new things and then once we help you get going you're jumping headfirst in no time.  But that first toe touch into the new is so scary for you.  We weren't sure how long it would take for you to warm up to interacting with elephants up close and personal but you jumped right in and encouraged Kenna when she was much more nervous to give it a go.  You two are really good for each other in that way.  You're encouraging to each other and you listen to each other if one says it's safe to proceed.  You got right in there and were absolutely thrilled to be feeding elephants and petting their trunks and talking to them like you were old friends.  It will be one of my favorite memories of traveling with you, little T.  Watching tiny little you just chatting away and completely at home with those magnificent animals.  The canoeing through caves and grottos in Phuket made you very nervous but you hung on and got over your jitters quickly after we emerged from the dark.  

On our way home from repat we stopped in London.  We'd done a lot of research on the places we were going to visit and the plays we were able to see and you were so excited.  Your first West End show was the Lion King.  You loved it.  It was so late at night and you guys were tired but you stayed awake to the end and watching your face, your hilarious whole head facial expressions reacting to the magic in that theater, was far more entertaining than any West End show.  We saw Wicked the next day and it was magical as well after listening to the music for so long.  I think we're going to have a wonderful life of loving plays and musicals together.

Over Saudi National Day we went to Paris.  You did a presentation on the Palace of Versailles and were pretty excited to see it on our bike tour.  That was a wonderful day.  Really fun ride-along bikes for you and Kenna, a delicious fresh market picnic on the grounds, and the gorgeous palace to boot.  You and Kenna couldn't really be bothered to listen to the guide, so when we stopped you were off exploring the forest and fields and picking up nuts and sticks to throw in the fountains and lakes.  I love traveling with you little kids.  You never let me forget that Marie Antoinette's hamlet is no more fascinating than the huge muskrat we found in the bushes or the nuts covering the ground and how far you can throw them in the pond.  Disneyland Paris was magical with you little T.  You loved the fireworks show at night.  You loved every little ride.  Pirates and haunted mansion made you nervous because they were so dark.  But you had a great time and found it all enchanting.  Another year or two and you'll be riding the big rides with your brothers and I.  I'm excited to see how you handle that!

This fall your brothers, your Dad and I were in rehearsals a couple of times a week for "A Dickens Carol".  You had Haley or Megan Spriggs over to babysit for dinner and bed time and while last year during Grease you gave your babysitters a very difficult time, you seemed to really look forward to your evenings with babysitters this time.  You stayed in bed and played and had so much fun with them.  I had to buy packs of construction paper half way through our rehearsals because you ladies would go through so much paper coloring and crafting with your babysitters.  Paper snow flakes got to be very exciting and your favorite thing to do with your creations is immediately get tape and tape them to the walls or windows.  You were a great sport while we were in a play.  We're loving this break from a show though and are excited to have more time to just be with you guys.  

Before Christmas we went to Austria with the Weitzels.  You love the Wetizels and every time we get together you're just as excited as can be.  Vacationing with them was great.  You guys played so nicely with their kiddos and I think having friends in ski school made it even more fun.  You loved ski school but had a hard time paying attention for that long.  It was just sort of a party for you until Kenna started to snow plow and be able to stop herself better than you and she moved to the rope tow for the last afternoon and then you realized that maybe you should have been putting forth a little more effort.  I think that's going to continue to be a tricky thing as you two grow.  Comparing yourselves to each other is going to be unavoidable but unfair because you're just so different from each other.

You have loved K4 this year and your dad and I could not have designed a better teacher for you.  Ms. Nina is new this year and she has twin babies which you think is awesome.  She is bubbly and calm, clear and loving, firm and fun.  Every rule or transition has a song and while I'm certain you're still a stinker when you decide to be, you seem to really love and want to please her which makes us oh so happy.  It's been perfect to have you and Kenna in your own classes making your own friends and coming home with your own different crafts and stories.  You've thrived with a little more independence.  You still have class with Ms. Teresa three mornings a week and we wondered before school started if that would be too much for you, but you love it.  The two different environments have been good for you in different ways.  You struggle sometimes with Ms. Teresa's class full of younger kids to remember to control your temper or to listen on days when you're just stuck in stubborn, but overall I think it's been really good for you to be so busy.  You're SO busy, Taryn.  In the afternoons when I have to be helping brothers with homework or practicing or making dinner you and your sister just need SO much attention and if you don't get it in a positive way, you guys fight and get in trouble.  So having more to keep you busy has been very good for you.

You are starting to read this year and most of the time you do not love it.  In the past year we started with letter names and sounds.  Those two together were absolutely a no go.  We resorted to just memorizing sounds with flashcards and it worked better but only if we kept the practice very brief.  There are still about 4 letter sounds that just won't stick in your brain.  It's so frustrating to you and while we try to make special "reading practice" snuggle time alone just with mom, it's still not your favorite because it's a little harder for you.  You're still so little to be reading but you are a smart little lass so I know you can do it if we keep trying without pushing you too hard.  It'll be interesting to see how your reading transforms over the next year.  

You started a ballet class and playing t-ball this year which has added to our family busy-ness but you seem to love having more to do.  Your ballet class it just once a week and you're very excited about the recital coming up in the spring and the costumes and everything.  You remind us often that there should be a bouquet of flowers for you after you're done.  T-ball is really just warming you up to the idea of sports.  It's a huge team of little kids and they're all new to the process and just trying to stay on the field or run in the right direction is about all we can do.  But you do love a little cheering on and you run your tiny legs while holding onto your pink helmet after you hit the ball and then give me a happy dance from 1st base and it's about the most darling thing I've ever seen.

You love your sister Kenna.  You're best buds and you can also get on each other's nerves more than anything else.  You two are doing so much better playing together nicely.  There are times when you disappear to the craft table or to your bedroom, or making a pile of pillows and blankets for some sort of fort or animal bed, or find a cardboard box and transform it into a doll house and play make-believe for an hour.  And some days one of you is just in a mood and spends the day tormenting and teasing the other.  You're going to grow and learn so much from being a twin.  It's hard some days but having someone who's right there with you going through the same things is going to be a huge asset to your life, little T.  

You love your brothers too.  Tate and Finn will wrestle with you or tickle you any time you ask.  They think you are the cutest little girlies and they are correct.  You have a soft spot for your Daddy but you come to me when you get hurt.  Or, lately, you've been just getting your own bandaid and then going back to playing on your own.  

You have a serious sweet tooth and could eat candy all day if we let you.  Sometimes when you're in a mood you spend all day sneaking treats from cupboards or the pantry or the fridge or swiping handfuls of your siblings cereal or treats.  When you want something and are told no it is very difficult for you.  You're starting to grow and that disappointment is starting to become bearable, but again, it depends on the day.  I can't think of any vegetables that you enjoy eating but you'll eat most any fruit.  You're not a huge fan of bread and you skip dinner almost every night because we try hard to have healthy dinners with a lot of veggies and you just say no thank you.  You have stopped asking for anything else or being rude about the food I put in front of you which has been a miraculous attitude shift.  

You're growing up, little T.  And while it breaks my heart, there are things that are wonderful about it.  There have been days when your feelings and angst were almost tangible all day long.  Deep discontent with life and everything in it.  So angry it almost filled the room.  But now you're a little more in control most of the time.  You still have hard days when you push boundaries hard and fight fiercely but now I can see that it's because you're struggling.  And I think you can see it too.  And we can play a silly game or read a story or talk through things that we couldn't before.  You've become so much easier and kinder and more fun.  

Taryn, I love you.  I love your enormous facial expressions.  I love your sassy walk and your scrunchy smiles.  I love your huge hugs, your quick and messy craft projects.  Your way of living with so much passion and energy.  It looks exhausting but really fun too.  I love you, my little girl.  I'm sad that the past 5 years have gone so quickly, but I'm excited to see how you're going to dominate the world this year.  Happy Birthday, Princess.

The world is yours, baby girl.

Love,

Mom