Dear Tate,

Dear Tate,

Ten.  Oh man, your age has gone from single digits to double and I don't know if my heart can take it.  You've grown up so much this year in so many ways.  You're still the sweetest most compliant little boy but you're also starting to figure out what you really like and what you don't so much and you'll let us know.  But you'll still go along with something you're not into if we ask you to.  You've grown in height this year. You don't look like a kid any more.  You look like a young man and it wigs me out.  You've started letting go of my hand when we're in public which makes me so sad but you're ten now so I suppose it's time.  Your shoes are so big and your hands are reaching octaves without any trouble.  It's so weird.  I absolutely love watching you grow.  You're always the same brilliant little guy who would quote entire books before you were 1 and a half and burst into tears when you hear a sad story.  But as you get older there are new things to love like how you help your sisters put on their shoes without being asked and manage homework with considerably less stress, and have more grown up conversations about things with us and you always bring something new to the table.  I love you, ten year old Tate.  You're a pretty awesome ten year old.  

This year we've traveled to Egypt, the Netherlands, Belgium, Austria, Czech Republic and Germany and of course Saudi and the USA.  You loved Egypt.  The history and mythology especially fascinated you.  You came home and found out there was a series by the same author as Percy Jackson that was based on Egyptian mythology and you read the whole series in a couple of weeks.  You had a blast in Netherlands and loved learning about the WWII history and were really struck by the stories of Anne Frank and Corrie Ten Boom.  We weren't sure how you would handle skiing.  Coordination isn't your strongest suit and we were a little nervous that you'd let your nerves get the best of you when strapped to some skis at the top of a hill.  But you completely surprised us.  You had ski school one morning and then went back for the afternoon and by the end of that first day you'd moved over to the big teaching hill and were making turns and stopping at the bottom like it was no big thing.  You didn't seem nervous one bit.  Moments like that, Tate, where 7 year old you would have totally come apart being faced with a big icy hill but 10 year old you just take in the instruction and figure it out without letting your worries rule you, make me feel like I'm going to burst with pride.  It was a big win that you enjoyed skiing.  Would you rather be inside with a book?  Probably.  But you did it two days in a row and didn't complain or have a negative thing to say about it and that was pretty great.  Last year you had some rough moments, culminating in a really awful episode in the Egyptian Museum and we decided we needed to see a counselor in Denver while we were there last summer.  You had eye surgery to correct the cross which went really well.  You were SO excited to be glasses-free and pretty convinced that no one would recognize you without your glasses.  We were in Denver for a whole month and saw a great counselor every week.  She gave you a lot of tools and we loved having some more ideas of how to put you at ease when you are overwhelmed with emotions and it's been just so much better so far this school year.  You still have days, particularly when you go from school to club, to scouts, and then home and you still have to do homework that you just melt down because you're so worn out.  Generally you can recover quickly if you just take a little break.  Tate, you're just growing up so much.  

You read constantly.  You bring a book to read on the bus, you're reading as you walk in the door, at the table if I don't make you put it away so you will eat, on the couch, at the piano bench and for hours in bed at night.  Mythology and fantasy are definitely your favorite genres.  You can be coaxed to read other things but you'd always rather be reading those two genres.  Your favorite series this year has probably been wings of fire.  You're a huge fan of dragons and your mind and drawings are filled with dragons and ideas for your own graphic novel which would be a mashup of your favorite fantasy books.  

Your handwriting is getting a little rough this year.  Last year for a couple of months we had you work with an occupational therapist to help build your confidence that you CAN write neatly if you just take your time but now you just don't want to take your time and you get frustrated with us when we ask you to write it again.  We're trying not to get on you too much about it because it's not the worst thing in the world but we just know you can be neater if you slowed down a bit.  

You're very smart at math and finish your homework pretty quickly nowadays which is a huge blessing.  Once in a while you still get caught up feeling overwhelmed by what feels to you to be an insurmountable mountain of work but most of the time you're able to take things one step at a time after school and get things done.  

You're a great pianist.  We're still working on detailed work when learning songs on your own.  You can chart a piece that you've already learned really well independently but learning a new one without me sitting next to you is a little harder because you have to really pay attention to the notes and rhythms and how the right and left hands fit together and you'd rather me walk you through it.  You CAN do it, but you don't like to take the extra few seconds to figure it all out and you want to just play until it sounds right.  We're working on that.  

You've always loved music and this year your confidence singing and dancing is pretty adorable.  You dance with absolute abandon and it's so fun to watch.  Your moves are your very own and you love them and are quite certain you look the coolest of the cool.  I need to get you in a hip hop dance class next year because I think you'd really like to have a little repertoire of moves in your pocket.  You've gathered a little collection of pop songs that light you up and you want to look them up on youtube every time we're driving somewhere.   You just discovered "High School Musical" so that's your recent favorite.  But "Drag Me Down" by One Direction and "I Gotta Feeling" by the Black Eyed Peas are two of your favorite dance jams as well.  I used to wonder if you would ever want to be on stage but after watching a couple of middle school musicals with kids you look up to and seeing your Dad and I on stage this fall you're pretty excited for your chance to try out too.  I love that about you.  You are rarely embarrassed which as an easily embarrassed person, I admire so much.

You're still a pretty picky eater.  You'd prefer to stick to chicken nuggets, mac and cheese, sandwiches, pizza, and breakfast food for always.  But when I put vegetables on your plate and tell you that you need to eat a certain number of bites you'll do it without any complaining.  You might take quite a while, but you'll choke them down and that's a fantastic new change.  You don't have to like everything, kiddo.  We're just trying really hard to help you try new foods and get in the habit of eating fruits and veggies.  You know where our motivation comes from and that's why you don't fight it.  

You've got a couple of good friends.  Reece Weitzel is probably your closest.  You two are so much fun together.   You build cardboard forts or create imaginary worlds based on ALL of the books you two read.  You like hanging out with other kids but you don't often ask for play dates because you're pretty content hanging out with us and reading a book.  You had a movie night birthday party and you invited four boys from the ward (Reece Weitzel, Max Arnold, Jude Swensen, and Ben Weight) and one from school (Abubaqer), and you know what kiddo, they were the most polite, fun, friendly boys and your dad and I just stood in the kitchen watching you guys talk through the movie on the couches and said to each other, "If this is our son's peer group and this is the quality of kids he could be friends with through teenager years, maybe we should think about staying here longer."  You're in a really good place with school and friends and yourself.  I know that some rocky years are likely on the way, and I'm just dreading the time when you care what other people think about you or have friends say unkind things that leave you doubting yourself or wounded.  I hope this being completely happy about who you are stays with you because Tate, you're pretty magnificent.  

Last spring you played basketball and did gymnastics and learned tennis with Wendy Weitzel.  She was an amazing teacher but she's been a little too busy to teach this year.  I think we might want to get you into lessons somehow though because you were pretty dang good at tennis.  You've got a great arm and you got to be pretty accurate with your swings.  You don't really care much about sports.  You'll do it if we tell you to pick one but you don't love it and you're starting to realize that it's not a natural thing for you.  You're just not really sure what to do and the next step isn't apparent to you while you're playing or practicing.  But you show up with a good attitude every time and that is something!  Your dad is coaching you in basketball again this spring and again, not your favorite.  You're trying but just don't know what to do.  We're gonna figure out something you can do for exercise that you can enjoy.  It's okay that sports are not your thing.  You did run two 5ks this summer in Utah.  I was so impressed with how you were able to push through being uncomfortable to finish those races.

Tate, you are the most wonderful first child.  Your sisters love you and when you take time to read to them or wrestle with them they are on top of the world.  You and Finn can play together all day long and rarely fight.  You're such good buddies together.  You've started reading Wings of Fire to him at night and often read long past when he's fallen asleep because you're just SO excited to read these stories to him and share your passion with your best buddy!  It's the sweetest.  Your dad and I love you to bits.  I have loved having a few solo night time jogs with you when you finish a book and you can jog for 3+ miles while recounting the entire plot.  I love when we have a little bit of alone time to let you just tell me everything you want to tell me.  So many times I have to tell you that you've got to stop the story you're telling me because you have work to do or lunch to eat or I have a tantrum to quiet or daughters to referee so when I get to just listen to you talk it makes me so happy.  We had a pretty epic mom/boys date in Egypt.  Glenn stayed with the girls on the cruise boat and you and Finn and I snuck away at 4am to go travel across Luxor to get in a hot air balloon and take off into the sky together.  You were all smiles about it until we got close to the basket.  The flames were SO loud, and were raining chunks of ash on us which terrified you as you got lifted up into the basket.  It was a VERY brave thing of you to do and once we got up in the air you and Finn and I had the most incredible view of Queen Hatshepsut's temple and the valley of the kings, and luxor and karnak temples from the sky.  I'll never forget how it felt to be with just the two of you.  These past four years with your sisters I've felt spread so thin.  We all love them so much but sometimes I feel like I get less real time with you and that hour in the sky was a huge mom-win.

Tate-o I love you.  I love your goofy faces, especially when you try to smile for pictures.  I love your enormous laugh.  I love your exuberant dance moves.  I love your drawings and skippy run and backpack so heavy with books.  I love your hugs and your tender heart.  Every primary teacher you've ever had has stories of you bursting into tears over some lesson or other because some of the stories are just so sad to you.  You can't handle the thought of someone being hurt or treated unjustly!  Recently it was when Joseph was sold into Egypt by his brothers.  You cried, saying that it was so unfair and how could the brothers do that?!  Your teacher tried to help you understand by saying, "What if Finn told you he was so much better than you and that he was supposed to be your ruler?  How would you feel?"  Your response was, "I would be completely fine with that.  I think Finn would be a great leader."  Your kind heart is noticed by everyone and your teachers and friends and friends' parents all recognize the positive and good kid that you are.  Tate, we are so proud to be your parents.  I can't think too hard about how little time I have left with my first little boy in our house.  It seems so short sometimes considering how lightning fast these past ten years have gone.  But I'm going to soak up every single second of it because I love being your mom.  

Happiest of birthdays, you wonderful kid.

The world is yours, Tate.

Love,

Mom