Dear Taryn,

Dear Taryn,

You are five.  Oh my heart just broke a teensy bit typing those words.  It feels like a moment ago we were bringing you and your sister home to Rakah, just tiny little people way at the bottom of those baby car seats.  You were the easiest, quietest, sleepiest little baby.  You didn't smile for just anyone and you kept your feelings pretty under wraps.  Then you turned one and we started to see who you would really become.  It seems like every year you become a little more you.  And every year we get a little different version as you figure out how you're going to master this world you're in.  Because that it what it looks like.  Watching you grow from baby girl to 5 year old has looked like watching you decide over and over again exactly how you're going to master your world this time.  Jumping and wrestling, screaming and hitting, running and hugging with your tiny muscly body so tight it's surprising.  Every year you seem to decide how you're going to dominate that year and no matter what we try to do to steer or love you into line, you go where your spirit dictates.  You are an incredible, spirited, full of fun and mischief and energy little bundle of lady.  

This year of your life we've had some pretty incredible experiences.  We spent spring break with the Browns visiting them in Malaysia and then traveling with them to Thailand.  You loved Thailand.  The beaches and adventure of it all agreed with you very much.  You can be very timid around new things and then once we help you get going you're jumping headfirst in no time.  But that first toe touch into the new is so scary for you.  We weren't sure how long it would take for you to warm up to interacting with elephants up close and personal but you jumped right in and encouraged Kenna when she was much more nervous to give it a go.  You two are really good for each other in that way.  You're encouraging to each other and you listen to each other if one says it's safe to proceed.  You got right in there and were absolutely thrilled to be feeding elephants and petting their trunks and talking to them like you were old friends.  It will be one of my favorite memories of traveling with you, little T.  Watching tiny little you just chatting away and completely at home with those magnificent animals.  The canoeing through caves and grottos in Phuket made you very nervous but you hung on and got over your jitters quickly after we emerged from the dark.  

On our way home from repat we stopped in London.  We'd done a lot of research on the places we were going to visit and the plays we were able to see and you were so excited.  Your first West End show was the Lion King.  You loved it.  It was so late at night and you guys were tired but you stayed awake to the end and watching your face, your hilarious whole head facial expressions reacting to the magic in that theater, was far more entertaining than any West End show.  We saw Wicked the next day and it was magical as well after listening to the music for so long.  I think we're going to have a wonderful life of loving plays and musicals together.

Over Saudi National Day we went to Paris.  You did a presentation on the Palace of Versailles and were pretty excited to see it on our bike tour.  That was a wonderful day.  Really fun ride-along bikes for you and Kenna, a delicious fresh market picnic on the grounds, and the gorgeous palace to boot.  You and Kenna couldn't really be bothered to listen to the guide, so when we stopped you were off exploring the forest and fields and picking up nuts and sticks to throw in the fountains and lakes.  I love traveling with you little kids.  You never let me forget that Marie Antoinette's hamlet is no more fascinating than the huge muskrat we found in the bushes or the nuts covering the ground and how far you can throw them in the pond.  Disneyland Paris was magical with you little T.  You loved the fireworks show at night.  You loved every little ride.  Pirates and haunted mansion made you nervous because they were so dark.  But you had a great time and found it all enchanting.  Another year or two and you'll be riding the big rides with your brothers and I.  I'm excited to see how you handle that!

This fall your brothers, your Dad and I were in rehearsals a couple of times a week for "A Dickens Carol".  You had Haley or Megan Spriggs over to babysit for dinner and bed time and while last year during Grease you gave your babysitters a very difficult time, you seemed to really look forward to your evenings with babysitters this time.  You stayed in bed and played and had so much fun with them.  I had to buy packs of construction paper half way through our rehearsals because you ladies would go through so much paper coloring and crafting with your babysitters.  Paper snow flakes got to be very exciting and your favorite thing to do with your creations is immediately get tape and tape them to the walls or windows.  You were a great sport while we were in a play.  We're loving this break from a show though and are excited to have more time to just be with you guys.  

Before Christmas we went to Austria with the Weitzels.  You love the Wetizels and every time we get together you're just as excited as can be.  Vacationing with them was great.  You guys played so nicely with their kiddos and I think having friends in ski school made it even more fun.  You loved ski school but had a hard time paying attention for that long.  It was just sort of a party for you until Kenna started to snow plow and be able to stop herself better than you and she moved to the rope tow for the last afternoon and then you realized that maybe you should have been putting forth a little more effort.  I think that's going to continue to be a tricky thing as you two grow.  Comparing yourselves to each other is going to be unavoidable but unfair because you're just so different from each other.

You have loved K4 this year and your dad and I could not have designed a better teacher for you.  Ms. Nina is new this year and she has twin babies which you think is awesome.  She is bubbly and calm, clear and loving, firm and fun.  Every rule or transition has a song and while I'm certain you're still a stinker when you decide to be, you seem to really love and want to please her which makes us oh so happy.  It's been perfect to have you and Kenna in your own classes making your own friends and coming home with your own different crafts and stories.  You've thrived with a little more independence.  You still have class with Ms. Teresa three mornings a week and we wondered before school started if that would be too much for you, but you love it.  The two different environments have been good for you in different ways.  You struggle sometimes with Ms. Teresa's class full of younger kids to remember to control your temper or to listen on days when you're just stuck in stubborn, but overall I think it's been really good for you to be so busy.  You're SO busy, Taryn.  In the afternoons when I have to be helping brothers with homework or practicing or making dinner you and your sister just need SO much attention and if you don't get it in a positive way, you guys fight and get in trouble.  So having more to keep you busy has been very good for you.

You are starting to read this year and most of the time you do not love it.  In the past year we started with letter names and sounds.  Those two together were absolutely a no go.  We resorted to just memorizing sounds with flashcards and it worked better but only if we kept the practice very brief.  There are still about 4 letter sounds that just won't stick in your brain.  It's so frustrating to you and while we try to make special "reading practice" snuggle time alone just with mom, it's still not your favorite because it's a little harder for you.  You're still so little to be reading but you are a smart little lass so I know you can do it if we keep trying without pushing you too hard.  It'll be interesting to see how your reading transforms over the next year.  

You started a ballet class and playing t-ball this year which has added to our family busy-ness but you seem to love having more to do.  Your ballet class it just once a week and you're very excited about the recital coming up in the spring and the costumes and everything.  You remind us often that there should be a bouquet of flowers for you after you're done.  T-ball is really just warming you up to the idea of sports.  It's a huge team of little kids and they're all new to the process and just trying to stay on the field or run in the right direction is about all we can do.  But you do love a little cheering on and you run your tiny legs while holding onto your pink helmet after you hit the ball and then give me a happy dance from 1st base and it's about the most darling thing I've ever seen.

You love your sister Kenna.  You're best buds and you can also get on each other's nerves more than anything else.  You two are doing so much better playing together nicely.  There are times when you disappear to the craft table or to your bedroom, or making a pile of pillows and blankets for some sort of fort or animal bed, or find a cardboard box and transform it into a doll house and play make-believe for an hour.  And some days one of you is just in a mood and spends the day tormenting and teasing the other.  You're going to grow and learn so much from being a twin.  It's hard some days but having someone who's right there with you going through the same things is going to be a huge asset to your life, little T.  

You love your brothers too.  Tate and Finn will wrestle with you or tickle you any time you ask.  They think you are the cutest little girlies and they are correct.  You have a soft spot for your Daddy but you come to me when you get hurt.  Or, lately, you've been just getting your own bandaid and then going back to playing on your own.  

You have a serious sweet tooth and could eat candy all day if we let you.  Sometimes when you're in a mood you spend all day sneaking treats from cupboards or the pantry or the fridge or swiping handfuls of your siblings cereal or treats.  When you want something and are told no it is very difficult for you.  You're starting to grow and that disappointment is starting to become bearable, but again, it depends on the day.  I can't think of any vegetables that you enjoy eating but you'll eat most any fruit.  You're not a huge fan of bread and you skip dinner almost every night because we try hard to have healthy dinners with a lot of veggies and you just say no thank you.  You have stopped asking for anything else or being rude about the food I put in front of you which has been a miraculous attitude shift.  

You're growing up, little T.  And while it breaks my heart, there are things that are wonderful about it.  There have been days when your feelings and angst were almost tangible all day long.  Deep discontent with life and everything in it.  So angry it almost filled the room.  But now you're a little more in control most of the time.  You still have hard days when you push boundaries hard and fight fiercely but now I can see that it's because you're struggling.  And I think you can see it too.  And we can play a silly game or read a story or talk through things that we couldn't before.  You've become so much easier and kinder and more fun.  

Taryn, I love you.  I love your enormous facial expressions.  I love your sassy walk and your scrunchy smiles.  I love your huge hugs, your quick and messy craft projects.  Your way of living with so much passion and energy.  It looks exhausting but really fun too.  I love you, my little girl.  I'm sad that the past 5 years have gone so quickly, but I'm excited to see how you're going to dominate the world this year.  Happy Birthday, Princess.

The world is yours, baby girl.

Love,

Mom

Dear Finn,

Dear Finn,

Oh Finny boy it is unreal that you are 8 years old.  I miss your squishy, round face.  Your face that lit up the room with your smiles and your insistence on doing everything, "a self!".  I miss your rough and tumble wrestles and stunts and your basketball obsession.  I miss the little boy you.  You're SO big now.  And its so awesome to be your biggest fan through all your years and watch how the list of things I love about you doesn't really change, it just keeps growing.  You still light up the room with your smiles and giggles and goofy sound effects.  You still want to move and wrestle constantly, you're just a lot bigger now!  You are still obsessed with sports, but your favorite sport of the moment is baseball . You are an adventurous, pleasant, easy-going, confident, loving, kind, smart, FUN boy.  We all adore you and we're excited to see what new things we'll get to learn and love about you in your next year.

During the spring you played baseball again with your dad as coach.  You loved it.  You get frustrated when you can't pick something up as quickly as someone else or when you feel like something is unfair (which we find to be the case much more often if you're hungry or tired...).  You're a great baseball player. You hit hard and you run fast.  Obviously you like hitting the most, but you try really hard to stay focused in the field too so you can be a contributing player on your team.  

During spring break this year we traveled to Thailand and Malaysia with our good friends the Browns where we played with elephants, you discovered a new love of zip-lining (you were TERRIFIED before that first line but once that was behind you, you were ecstatic!), kayaked in sea caves, played in huge waves, met some jellyfish and so much more all with some great buddies.  

We stopped in London on the way home to repat and you saw your first West End shows!  I was so proud of how much you loved them.  We spent weeks prepping you with the story and the music of Les Mis and doing presentations about different aspects of the productions.  You saw Les Mis, Wicked, and the Lion King and you loved them all.  You have a surprisingly tender heart for such a rough and tumble boy and it's such a beautiful asset.  Knowing that you feel deeply and love deeply makes my heart proud.  We had a super busy repat and spent time in Denver (where you did your first little lacrosse camp and LOVED IT), Utah, Pennsylvania, and New Hampshire.  I think you would really love playing lacrosse if we could figure out how to start a group here without it taking over our lives.  You shone knowing that you playing lacrosse made your daddy proud.  

Another summer highlight was going on the ultimate dad date to a Red Sox game while we were in New Hampshire.  You got a ball tossed to you in the stands because you made a big sign.  You came home with a hoodie and a hat and a host of other little things and being the sentimental boy you are, they're all instant treasures.  Reminders of a magical night with your dad at Fenway.  That experience made your love of baseball grow even more and this fall, in addition to playing on a team again, you've attended several training sessions with a coach who travels to run training sessions and have improved so much in discipline and skill.  

We spent Saudi National Day weekend in September in Paris.  You loved Paris but Paris Disneyland won your heart.  You couldn't stop crying on our walk home on the last night in the parks.  Saying adorable things like, "This is my last ride.  I better savor it!" with your eyes brimming with tears.  Or, "I'm going to miss this place so much.  It makes my heart hurt!"  Or not wearing shirts that you wore in the parks for weeks because it made you too sad to be reminded that it was over.  Oh Finny.  You were tall enough this time to ride all of the big rides and I LOVED riding them over and over with you.  Space Mountain was probably your favorite.  It was intense in Paris and you could have ridden it all day and often remarked at how some of the slower paced rides were not as fun.  It's moments like this, when I get to do things that I love with my kids that I feel like it might be all right if you grow up a little bit because big kid Finn is super fun to be around.

We went to Austria before Christmas and you turned 8 on our last day of the trip.  You took three days of ski school and you took to skis like a fish to water.  No fear.  Total control.  You got frustrated when you made mistakes but you kept at it.  At the end of the last day of school they had a little ski race.  My momma heart was flying watching you swerve around those gates down the slope after only a few days on skis in your whole existence!  It makes me so proud watching you learn new and difficult things.  To face obstacles and push through to develop new skills.  So proud.  They got your race bibs mixed up so they were calling Tate's name over the speaker as you came down the hill and you were so frustrated.  Sure that since they had mixed up your numbers that when you won, because you were pretty sure you would, that Tate would get the credit.  Generally, confidence is not an area of weakness for you.

This year you're in second grade with Mr. Cager as your teacher.  He can be pretty strict and definitely keeps you in line.  Not that you need it.  You're a good student and, while you can be goofy and silly at times, generally do quite well in the classroom.  This year we started to notice that you might be struggling just a bit in reading.  You'd miss or substitute words or skip several lines of text.  We were lucky to get you in to some tutoring with Ms. LeNae in our group and for the last couple of months we've been meeting with her before school every day.  You've never seemed the least bit bothered by this addition to your schedule, nor do you seem the least bit insecure from the news that you may have some sort of learning challenge having to do with reading or writing.  We'll see what happens as the year progresses but thus far you're just happy being you and all that comes with it.  And that is as it should be, because all you are is pretty marvelous.  

You auditioned last spring and made it into a children's choir on camp that you sing with once a week with Tate and a few other friends.  Ms. Kelly is so great and you all come out of practice with big smiles on your faces having had so much fun making music together which is just awesome.  You even got a solo about a month back and you were SO proud of that fact.  We can't wait to hear your first concert in about a month.  

Also last spring you and Tate auditioned with us to be in "A Dickens Carol" and we all got in.  It was so fun to watch you be excited to audition and how much you talked about it afterward.  How hard you tried during rehearsals to remember everything we asked you to do and to not miss a reaction or line.  You could be pretty silly too, wrestling with your brother or playing around with your friends.  But overall, for such a crazy busy fall, you were a rock star.  So many afternoons of rushing from one activity to the next. Dinner when you got home at 7pm or dinner in the DTG house kitchen from a tupperware.  And when performance time came you absolutely lit up on stage.  You were tired at the end of 8 shows but also sad to see it end.  You had a little bit where you stole Paul Weitzel's wallet in the opener and he let you keep the wallet at the end of the show.  You treasure that thing as a reminder of the times you had in the play.  It's so sweet. 

You're still a great eater.  You'll try most anything we give you to eat.  You still prefer fruit to most anything.  You don't love vegetables or most healthy meals really, but if we ask you to eat your dinner you do.  You still don't love sweets.  You'll eat the occasional cookie or candy but you don't really need cake or brownies or much of any treat really.  Your Halloween and Christmas stocking candy go largely untouched for about a month until eventually it just gets thrown out.  

You've been such a good piano student this year.  You get out of bed and get your technique done before breakfast and then we sit down to work on songs at lunch or after school together.  You definitely get frustrated from time to time if it's taken several goes at a section to get it right.  But once you get it right it's like something clicks in your brain and all the frustration and angst never was.  Now everything's good.  You've learned and played difficult songs this year for recitals.  Never a complaint about practicing.  Never a complaint about performing in then recitals.  You don't ever seem to be nervous.  You just do your thing and it's so musical and you're trying so hard that it just melts the audience to a puddle.

You're a very friendly boy.  You have some good buddies in scouts and in your classes at school and church.  You love playing with friends but you also love being home and playing with your brother.  You're such good buddies and always have each other's backs.  It makes my heart smile to watch you two.  Tate sometimes reads to you from the top bunk at night and it's one of your favorite things.  Your sisters adore you.  You are more than pleased to help me entertain them with a story or a wrestling match or to make up some obstacle course for them if I need to get dinner ready or work on something with Tate.  You are so sweet to them and they're huge fans of you.

You are in a phase of policing to make sure things are fair and good.  If someone breaks a rule, you tell us.  If someone gets one more or less of something, you point it out.  If someone is doing anything they shouldn't be, you make sure it's remedied.  It's SO hard for you to not be the parent or the coach or the teacher.  It itches your soul when something you want to be righted just needs to be let go.  But sometimes, little guy, it just does. 

Oh Finny boy, you're a light in our family.  You have your challenges and frustrations but most of the time you're just more than happy to be.  And we're beyond thrilled that we get you on our family team.  You're a great cheerleader and you can tell when someone needs cheering on.  You can teach and softly coach your sisters if they are in the mood to learn something from you.  You give the greatest hugs when we need a little lift.  You're patient and you just follow, happy to be, when someone else in the family needs some attention.  Kiddo, we're amazed by you.  We admire your attitude and your strength.  Your determination and your joy in life.  Our family is what it is because you are who you are.  We'd be lost without you, dear Finny.  

I look around our house and see pictures of cute little baby or little boy Finny and that Finny seems SO long ago when I see how big you've grown and the boy you've become.  But you've always been you.  So much wonderful you.  And it just keeps getting better.  I'm excited to see what new part of Finn I'm going to fall in love with in the coming year.  I adore you, my boy.

The world is yours, Finn.

Love,

Mom