Dear Taryn,

 Dear Taryn,

Oh little missy you are 6!  You were so excited for your birthday.  Last spring just a few months after your 5th birthday you started asking frequently to list the holidays until your birthday.  You were pretty frustrated until the list got shorter this Fall and it sounded like, "Thanksgiving, then Finn's birthday, then Christmas, then New Years, then your birthday!"  You LOVE holidays, but you especially love the holiday all about you!  Your birthday this year was fun.  We ate all your and Kenna's favorite foods.  Cinnamon rolls for breakfast, cheese bread for lunch, and mac and cheese at Chili's for dinner.  You love to look at pictures of cakes in my cake cookbook and you've had your eye on a very pretty bubble gum cake for a year.  You wanted to change the frosting and drip colors and choose your own sprinkles.  We brought back gum-balls and bubble gum flavoring and spent days cooking together.  But then you took one bite and didn't love it.  It was very bubble-gumy in your defense.  Which you were unaware you didn't like very much.  So you ate a piece of Kenna's mint chocolate cake instead!  It was so funny.  

Your birthday party was a mermaid soiree with just a few of your and Kenna's favorite little people.  Lilly, Lucette, Clara, Amelia and Addie.  You had so much fun playing with them and I think it was the celebration you've been excited all year for.  And when you're excited, little miss, you have excitement bursting from your fingertips!  It's all-encompassing and rather exhausting and also really magical.  

You've had quite a year, little T.  You've grown so much in every way.  You're taller, stronger, your hair is longer, your tenderness softer, and your temper just as fiery.  You had a wonderful teacher in K4.  One of the saddest things about virtual school last spring for me, was knowing that you were missing out on a few more months of class with Ms. Nina.  She was SO good for you.  Positive and kind and fun and creative.  Always ready to intervene with a song or a mantra.  My favorite of which is, "Talk it out to work it out."  Which we say ALL THE TIME now at home.  You loved her so much because she loved you back.  It was so fun to come to class and have you be so excited for me to be there.  See you working hard and making buddies and trying SO hard to sit still and listen when you just wanted to wiggle or speak up.

Last year was a hard year, hon.  We left in March for Auntie Mallo's wedding, thinking that your Dad would be able to meet up with us in Utah for the wedding.  But the day after we arrived in Utah, Saudi closed the borders and we were stuck.  Every week we thought, "surely things will change and go back to normal and we can go home."  And every week, they didn't.  We spent 4 months away from your Daddy.  Kind ward members from Saudi let us stay in their homes in Utah while we were stuck.  We were so grateful for their generosity and care of us.  We stayed in the Dibb's house in American Fork for a month, and then in the Bourne's home in Lehi for 3 more.  The Bournes had closets full of toys and a trampoline outside and two beds for you girls and it was just perfect.  

We did virtual school every day, which for K4 consisted of watching a few videos and doing a craft or writing a few letters or numbers or going on a hunt to take picture of certain shapes or patterns or colors.  You loved those videos every day and did not so much love the letter or number flashcards or the bob books that I added for you just so you could keep some sort of progress and learning.  You missed being in class.  You loved the independence of getting on that bus, wearing your backpack, filling up your own water bottle and grabbing your own snack just like your brothers.  And having me in charge of all of the learning again was a step back you did not love.  But we made it.  It is very frustrating to you that you learn differently than your sister so we make sure to do things separately and differently as much as we can so you know you are doing well and I am proud of you!

We spent a lot of time in the mountains and you loved being out in the wild.  Climbing rocks in goblin valley, hiking in the woods, roasting marshmallows over a fire, throwing rocks into a stream, picking every wildflower you saw even when we had JUST asked you not to, finding bugs to watch and squirrels to tip toe towards just thrilled you to the core.  You have such a delicious sense of adventure, little T and it's contagious.  It also scares me just a bit as you're not usually nervous to be out of my sight or get too close to an edge, or look around before you throw a rock off a cliff just in case someone is below you... You just can't stand to be held back and I really try to do it as little as possible because watching you just go after life is an amazing thing to behold.  Being out in the sunshine and mountains was so good for us during our time in Utah.  We all had days when we just woke up sad and being away from your Dad was so hard.  But even when everything else was closed, we had the mountains and we made good use of them to get some exercise and take some deep breaths in the peaceful air.

We spent a lot of time with family in Utah which was unusual for us.  Most summers we only get a week in town with them so being around Mallo and Carson, playing with cousin Tucker, and visiting Nana and Grampa was so fun for you.  Any time we were bored you'd ask who can come over to play or if you had an idea to go somewhere you asked who was coming with us.  It was nice to have so many memories built with people who just love you during what could have been solely a yucky and dark time.  When things opened up a bit we went to the aquarium, spend a couple weekends playing in Park City, did a couple of escape rooms, played at parks, rolled down hills, flew kites, made sidewalk chalk masterpieces, and raced snails across the sidewalk.  

Finally on July 7 we were able to get on a plane to go home.  It should have been a really difficult day, flying across the world with all the worry and uncertainty of a pandemic with so much luggage, wearing masks all day, and very little sleep.  But Taryn, I will never forget that day.  I will never forget how kind you and your siblings were to each other.  How patient and positive and happy to be alive you were all day no matter what obstacles we faced, how few options we had for food, how many cranky people we interacted with, how many hours of sleepless travel, we were all so happy to FINALLY be going home, nothing seemed to phase us for long.  

When we arrived home and you stepped off that Aramco bus you practically flew into your Daddy's arms and hugged him so tight.  You watched him shave his beard he grew while we were away and went to sleep in your own bed for the first time in four months with the sweetest peaceful smile on your face.  We spent the next two weeks in the greatest quarantine.  Snuggling and movies and games.  Lazy mornings, so many books, and so many hugs.  It was blissful.  

We spent the rest of the summer just laying low.  We went to the beach almost every week, swam in our little backyard pool every day, sometimes multiple times a day, played video games and board games, did our workbooks and chores, and just relaxed together.  School started too soon, virtually as we expected.  Your teacher, Ms. Ami, seems to be a really good fit for you.  She's kind but firm and you really like her.  We did virtual school from August until November when we were finally able to go to a hybrid schedule which means you do a little video specials class in the morning and then you go to school for a couple of hours in the afternoon with half of your class.  You love getting on that big bus with your brother Finn and sister and you always get off it so happy and excited to tell me about the things you learned and did.  

It'll be interesting to see how school goes for you next year.  For everyone, really.  Because this year has been such a different experience for school.  A lot of virtual followed by just not enough time in person.  I'm so grateful for the hybrid schedule but I just know there are some things that you need that aren't quite able to happen this year because of the limitations of COVID and the school.  You're a smart girl and a strong girl.  I know you'll be just fine if you set your mind to it.  You almost always get what you set your mind to little lady.

On November 30th we went to the states to visit our family in NH and it was so wonderful.  We spent a day skiing and playing in the snow, did some shopping, and spend every night at the Emery Road Makechnie house playing with the dogs, wrestling with cousin Nelson who was doing his at home MTC, reading books with Grandpa Arthur, baking with Uncle Gregor, taking walks with Auntie Amy and cousin Paige, or painting nails with cousin Cope.  It was a wonderful week of reconnecting and deep breaths of cold winter air.  You couldn't get enough.  The cold or mud didn't bother you one bit.  

On our last day in NH we surprised you and told you our next week would be spent in Disney World.  We had the most amazing time riding rides, eating yummy food (your favorite was the Gaston cinnamon rolls!) exploring and playing together.  There were just a few rides that you were a touch too short for.  And while I'm not sure if you would have loved them as you're still just a little nervous about wild rides, you were none too keen on being the one left out because Kenna was just that magic one inch taller than you.  While we rode those rides you'd take off with your Dad and get a treat or ride something else just the two of you.  Taryn, you have the greatest dad.  He is such a softie in your hands.  He loves you so much and wants you to be oh so happy.  One of my favorite things about Disney World was watching how your brothers interacted with you while we were in line for a ride you didn't remember or hadn't been on before.  They'd put their arms around you, change the tone of their voices to a gentle and animated tone to describe what would happen on the ride in great detail so that you would know what to expect and not feel afraid.  It was so sweet to watch them become your mentors and to see you listen to them in a special way because they're your big brothers.  You rode some big rides, and while I'm not sure if they were your favorites, you were so brave and just loved the adrenaline of big dips and fast corners.  It was a magical and healing week for our family to be able to have such a grand adventure together after such a hard year.  

We got home a week before Christmas and it was a wonderful Christmas.  You asked Santa for a lollipop and he brought you a whole package of lollipops and it might as well have been the moon for how excited you were.  We spend some time in the states shopping for Finn who you gave to this year and you picked out the most thoughtful gifts for him.  Your excitement watching him open his presents might have been the best part of your Christmas.

Oh my Taryn, what a year.  It's been so full and hard and really great too.  You ask all the time when COVID will be over and I wish I had an answer for you.  Most of the time you've been able to roll with the punches this pandemic throws your way, but once in a while you get socked down and reminded when you see that basket of ballet clothes in the closet that we can't have ballet class right now, or when you want to sell lemonade on the corner that we're still in the middle of a pandemic and we really can't pass out lemonade right now.  I know honey.  I want it to be over too.  But we're all together.  And if we learned one thing this year, it's that our family can do pretty much anything together, babe.

You, little lady, are a whirlwind of creative energy.  You love to pull paper out of the closet and color or water paint or stamp or create a colored pencil masterpiece (rainbows are your specialty of the moment) and then write a note on the back to give to someone you love, usually with some small treat taped to it and sometimes tied with a curling ribbon.  You leave a shower of things in your wake but I try hard not to slow you down because watching your brain create is a feat to behold.  You have very little patience for sitting down for reading practice, but you and your sister can spend hours over days creating and decorating a box to turn it into the perfect doll house or stuffed animal house.  And hours scheming over the perfect design for your fairy house or welcome sign to put in the flower pot next to the fairy house.  You love to create, you love to pick out your own clothes, and you love anything with sparkles or shine or glitter.  You ask me at least once a week if you can wear my makeup yet and having painted fingernails or fancy shoes shifts the way you carry yourself entirely.  

You love to eat.  You have a real sweet tooth.  If we let you I think you'd eat lolly pops all day long.  But you also LOVE macarons (especially when you get to make them with me.  Basically you like to stick your finger in the batter and choose the colors and flavors of cookies and frosting).  You love ice cream and any kind of cookie.  You also love any kind of fruit, you'll tolerate a potato or cauliflower, but you'll eat chicken and rice without much complaint.  You love fruit juice and that's usually your treat of choice when we go to the com together.  You prefer your pasta with white sauce and your apples sliced and with peanut butter.

Taryn girl, I just adore you.  Your enthusiasm about things that make you happy is so sweet it makes my sweet tooth hurt.  And your fury is so quick and hot it burns up anyone who's too close.  You feel big and much.  It's a gift. And I'm sure it feels so hard sometimes too.  You're working on it.  You're trying to stay in control and you have many moments of beautiful spontaneous kindness.  You gave away almost all of your halloween candy taped to notes to anyone and everyone you could think of.  Last week you started doing your chore and then you just kept the vacuum out and vacuumed everyone else's zones too.  You have a big heart and a strong soul.  It's a marvel to behold, little one.  

Every so often I look at picture of you as a teensy tinsy little baby with a fuzzy head and calm clear eyes.  I miss tiny baby you.  Being able to hold all of you in my arms and meet all of your needs with just a snuggle or a song or a bottle of milk.  You are an incredible girl, Taryn.  So very smart, so very creative, so very strong.  I wish meeting all your needs was as easy as it was when you were that teensy baby, but just know, my girl that I love you fiercely.  I want you to be so very happy in your life and I am doing absolutely everything I can think of to meet your needs and to teach you what you need to know to be happy and successful. I am proud to be your Momma.  You are going to do incredible things and I, as always, am just glad to be along for the ride, sweetheart. 

Happy Birthday, little Taryn.  I love you so very much.

The world is yours, my girl.

Love,

Mom

Dear Kenna,

 Dear Kenna,

Oh my sweet girl you are 6!  I procrastinated writing your letter last year when you turned 5 until March and then COVID happened and we were stuck.  So this letter better be extra amazing after missing one year of letter-writing to the marvelous Kenna Makechnie!

Kenna girl you absolutely lit up in K4.  You weren't nervous in the slightest about getting on that little bus or going to school and had the best time in class with Ms. Allison.  I loved coming to "work" in your class every other week because you were so proud and happy to have me there and show me everything you were doing.  Your favorite spot in the classroom was the "maker table" where Ms. Allison brought milk cartons, take out containers, toilet paper rolls, tissue paper, anything and everything in a big box and you used it to make new creations every day and brought them home just glowing with pride at your new robot, mailbox, minecraft guy, etc.  It was a lot of stuff Kenna girl.  But it made you SO happy!  You loved coloring and often drew pictures for people and you loved writing stories and being able to read them to the class on the projector.  

In March we left for Utah to be at Auntie Mallo's wedding and we ended up getting stuck.  For four months.  Away from your Daddy, your toys, your craft closet, your bunk bed, your life in Saudi.  It was really hard.  You were so happy for your Auntie Mallo and you absolutely adore her man, Uncle Carson.  He is endlessly sweet to you and you poured a lot of fatherly affection on him while you were away from your Dad.  He couldn't sit down without you or Taryn climbing into his lap like you belonged there.  It was so sweet for you and your siblings to be able to attend Auntie Mallo's wedding since the temples were closed.  You wore a beautiful dress and had your own little bouquet which made you feel so special.  

We spent a lot of time in the mountains while we were in Utah.  We stayed in the Dibb's house in American Fork for a month where you shared a room with your siblings and then we moved to the Bourne's house in Lehi for another 3 months.  They were SO good to us and we were so grateful to have a place to stay while we were stuck.  Both houses were close to AF canyon.  We went hiking at least once a week as everything else closed down and we desperately needed to be in some nature and feel some sunshine.  We haven't had much opportunity to hike as a family living in Saudi except for the one or two hikes we take each summer in NH.  It was wonderful to see how you and Taryn have grown and the stamina that you had to keep going and climb steep trails without too much whining.  Finding flowers, looking for bugs and critters and sometimes snow, made the whole experience so magical.  Sometimes we went alone, often we had company from Aunts, Uncles, Nana and Grandpa.  I loved holding your little hand as we climbed in the mountains together.

We did a lot of fun things in Utah.  When things opened up a bit we went the aquarium, we ate out or got takeout, went on lots of walks, colored with chalk, rolled down hills, flew kites, played at the high school track with Mallo and Carson, played on the trampoline in the Bourne's back yard.  You, Taryn and Finny raced snails you found in the garden.  You and your siblings were rock stars last summer.  You each took turns having sad days and worry days but you helped each other and played together and loved each other.  Seeing your relationships and how much you've all grown together is one of my most treasured takeaways from this year.

We did virtual K4 for almost all of those four months and it was not ideal.  Lots of crafts and maker challenges, lots of little number games or finding shapes, or coloring pictures.  We'd watch the few little videos and take pictures to send to your teacher back in Saudi.  But we also got a set of Bob books, made some number flashcards, and did a little school work on our own.  And all of a sudden, Kenna, you turned into a reader.  Letters and sounds started to click.  You took so much pride in finishing bob books with me or on your own and couldn't wait for our daily facetime with your Dad so you could show him your new skills.  On our last day in Saudi as I was packing boxes, you sat down with Auntie Mallo and asked her to help you write a note to me.  That was your first note, Kenna babe.  It said, "I love you, thanks for letting us go home."  It was a moment for me.  Feeling so stressed about all the cleaning and packing with such short notice.  So frazzled at how fast it all had to be done and worried about the trip across the ocean in such an uncertain time. And so excited to finally be going home again.  And you, little Kenna, you sensed all that.  And you just had to do something sweet to make it all feel less stressful.  

On July 7th we FINALLY were able to go home.  It was the easiest and happiest 24 hour trip we've ever had.  You and your siblings were exhausted but no one complained because you were just so happy to be finally going home.  You fell asleep on the Aramco bus the last ten minutes of the drive so your siblings rushed out before I could get you up but once we left the bus you ran, sobbing into your daddy's arms.  So tired and SO glad to finally be home.  Those next two quarantine weeks were just wonderful.  All together.  So many movie nights, game nights, afternoon snuggle parties.  It was a warm and cozy quarantine.

We spent the summer doing our workbooks and chores in the morning, swimming in our little backyard pool, playing games, playing with friends, and we went to the beach almost every weekend.  Even with all of the stress in the world and in our little corner of the world after all of the lock-downs and trauma of surviving covid in Saudi, our family was just so happy to be together, not much could bother us for long.  

You started writing notes and it's like you were doing it your whole life.  Mostly "I luv yoo". sometimes the o's are hearts.  You know how to write everyone's names in our family and you get very hurt if someone points out a spelling error because you put your whole heart into every kind gesture.  You're a deep feeler, Kenna love.  If anyone gets hurt, you're running for an ice pack or a bandaid.  If mom is stressed you say, "Thanks for being our Mom.  I know you're feeling stressed right now.  It's hard to be a mom, isn't it?"  You're very thoughtful and you notice details a lot of people miss.  I learn a lot from you, sweetheart.  I feel like I understand you at your core.  It's heavy sometimes to feel so much, isn't it?  But it's also a gift you have.  To notice and lift where you can.  But I must say, I'm pretty proud of you when I see you stand up for yourself or what you want because far too often you yield your own wishes to others.  I hope you know that you are important, and you deserve to be taken care of and have what you want too.

You are a good little eater.  You like sweets but you're usually fine with a bite or two.  You could eat fruit all day, especially bananas.  You know fruit is always okay so whenever you start to say, "I'm hungry.." you stop yourself and say, "Can I have a banana?!" You probably eat at least one banana every day.  You also love yogurt drinks, nectarines but not plums so much, apples but only if they're cut, any kind of berry, and you'll also eat bell peppers.  Your recent favorite is a crustless quiche that we've made a lot recently.  It's got a ton of broccoli but you can pack away at least two slices easily.  

We started virtual school in August and it was fine.  Fine but not great.  It's hard to sit in front of a screen for kindergarten and stay engaged but man, your teacher Mr. Graham sure did his best!  He had puppets and songs and silly games and you just adore him.  We were all celebrating when you were able to go back to hybrid school in November.  You do chores and one virtual special video in the mornings and then you go to school just for the afternoons four days a week.  Even with the distance and the masks you still love going to school. I'm SO glad you are able to go in person.  So many people still can't.  You've become such a great reader this year and you love sitting down with a pile of books.  If they're at your level you read them word for word, if they're not you just tell the story, whispering to yourself or to Taryn as you turn the pages and admire the pictures.  

On November 30 we were able to get out to NH to visit family.  Watching you run up the street to give Grandpa Arthur a big hug will be one of my favorite memories.  You just held him and he bent over to hug you for probably a minute.  You loved playing with cousin Paige and you had the best time going for snowy walks with Artie and Tenny, and Auntie Amy, completely undeterred by the snow and wind outside.  We spend one day skiing but you were only out there for a couple of hours and the rest of the time we played together in the snow.  You were enchanted by icicles and have the most creative ideas of imaginative play.  

We surprised you and took you guys to Disney World for the last week of our time in the states.  It was wonderful.  You were just tall enough to ride nearly every ride now.  An inch taller than Taryn so she missed out on a few and you completely surprised me by being a real dare-devil.  You loved the speed, the drops, and weren't bothered in the slightest by the darkness on some rides.  It was a shock to me to look at my little baby girl and realize that you're now a big kid who can play with me and your siblings in a whole new way!  You loved it all.  The music, the Christmas decorations, the characters who came by in unscheduled cavalcades, the rides, the shops.  It was all magic to you and watching you and your siblings be grateful and soak up the Disney magic made your Dad and I so happy and so proud.  It was a healing trip for us.  Being together and playing so much. 

Christmas was lovely this year.  We wished that Mallo and Carson could have visited us like they had planned but no visitors were allowed into Saudi so that wasn't possible.  We had a sweet, quiet Christmas at home and even went camping a couple of times over the long break.  You asked Santa for a locket with a K on it!  You gave very thoughtful gifts to your brother Tate that you picked out at Target and watching you and your siblings be excited to share those gifts was the sweetest part of Christmas by far.  

Kenna, I love you.  Your siblings love you.  Your Daddy is smitten with you.  You have the most gentle eyes, a sweet smile, and a heart that feels with others and wants to make the world a happier place.  You are a treasure to our family, my little lady.  It's been a hard year in a lot of ways, but it's been a good year for you.  Lots of growth.  Lots of love.  Lots of adventures.  And you have loved it all as only you can.  

I love and admire you so very much, my little one.  Happy Birthday, sweetie.

The world is yours, Kenna.

Love,

Mom