Dear Taryn,

 Dear Taryn,

Oh little missy you are 6!  You were so excited for your birthday.  Last spring just a few months after your 5th birthday you started asking frequently to list the holidays until your birthday.  You were pretty frustrated until the list got shorter this Fall and it sounded like, "Thanksgiving, then Finn's birthday, then Christmas, then New Years, then your birthday!"  You LOVE holidays, but you especially love the holiday all about you!  Your birthday this year was fun.  We ate all your and Kenna's favorite foods.  Cinnamon rolls for breakfast, cheese bread for lunch, and mac and cheese at Chili's for dinner.  You love to look at pictures of cakes in my cake cookbook and you've had your eye on a very pretty bubble gum cake for a year.  You wanted to change the frosting and drip colors and choose your own sprinkles.  We brought back gum-balls and bubble gum flavoring and spent days cooking together.  But then you took one bite and didn't love it.  It was very bubble-gumy in your defense.  Which you were unaware you didn't like very much.  So you ate a piece of Kenna's mint chocolate cake instead!  It was so funny.  

Your birthday party was a mermaid soiree with just a few of your and Kenna's favorite little people.  Lilly, Lucette, Clara, Amelia and Addie.  You had so much fun playing with them and I think it was the celebration you've been excited all year for.  And when you're excited, little miss, you have excitement bursting from your fingertips!  It's all-encompassing and rather exhausting and also really magical.  

You've had quite a year, little T.  You've grown so much in every way.  You're taller, stronger, your hair is longer, your tenderness softer, and your temper just as fiery.  You had a wonderful teacher in K4.  One of the saddest things about virtual school last spring for me, was knowing that you were missing out on a few more months of class with Ms. Nina.  She was SO good for you.  Positive and kind and fun and creative.  Always ready to intervene with a song or a mantra.  My favorite of which is, "Talk it out to work it out."  Which we say ALL THE TIME now at home.  You loved her so much because she loved you back.  It was so fun to come to class and have you be so excited for me to be there.  See you working hard and making buddies and trying SO hard to sit still and listen when you just wanted to wiggle or speak up.

Last year was a hard year, hon.  We left in March for Auntie Mallo's wedding, thinking that your Dad would be able to meet up with us in Utah for the wedding.  But the day after we arrived in Utah, Saudi closed the borders and we were stuck.  Every week we thought, "surely things will change and go back to normal and we can go home."  And every week, they didn't.  We spent 4 months away from your Daddy.  Kind ward members from Saudi let us stay in their homes in Utah while we were stuck.  We were so grateful for their generosity and care of us.  We stayed in the Dibb's house in American Fork for a month, and then in the Bourne's home in Lehi for 3 more.  The Bournes had closets full of toys and a trampoline outside and two beds for you girls and it was just perfect.  

We did virtual school every day, which for K4 consisted of watching a few videos and doing a craft or writing a few letters or numbers or going on a hunt to take picture of certain shapes or patterns or colors.  You loved those videos every day and did not so much love the letter or number flashcards or the bob books that I added for you just so you could keep some sort of progress and learning.  You missed being in class.  You loved the independence of getting on that bus, wearing your backpack, filling up your own water bottle and grabbing your own snack just like your brothers.  And having me in charge of all of the learning again was a step back you did not love.  But we made it.  It is very frustrating to you that you learn differently than your sister so we make sure to do things separately and differently as much as we can so you know you are doing well and I am proud of you!

We spent a lot of time in the mountains and you loved being out in the wild.  Climbing rocks in goblin valley, hiking in the woods, roasting marshmallows over a fire, throwing rocks into a stream, picking every wildflower you saw even when we had JUST asked you not to, finding bugs to watch and squirrels to tip toe towards just thrilled you to the core.  You have such a delicious sense of adventure, little T and it's contagious.  It also scares me just a bit as you're not usually nervous to be out of my sight or get too close to an edge, or look around before you throw a rock off a cliff just in case someone is below you... You just can't stand to be held back and I really try to do it as little as possible because watching you just go after life is an amazing thing to behold.  Being out in the sunshine and mountains was so good for us during our time in Utah.  We all had days when we just woke up sad and being away from your Dad was so hard.  But even when everything else was closed, we had the mountains and we made good use of them to get some exercise and take some deep breaths in the peaceful air.

We spent a lot of time with family in Utah which was unusual for us.  Most summers we only get a week in town with them so being around Mallo and Carson, playing with cousin Tucker, and visiting Nana and Grampa was so fun for you.  Any time we were bored you'd ask who can come over to play or if you had an idea to go somewhere you asked who was coming with us.  It was nice to have so many memories built with people who just love you during what could have been solely a yucky and dark time.  When things opened up a bit we went to the aquarium, spend a couple weekends playing in Park City, did a couple of escape rooms, played at parks, rolled down hills, flew kites, made sidewalk chalk masterpieces, and raced snails across the sidewalk.  

Finally on July 7 we were able to get on a plane to go home.  It should have been a really difficult day, flying across the world with all the worry and uncertainty of a pandemic with so much luggage, wearing masks all day, and very little sleep.  But Taryn, I will never forget that day.  I will never forget how kind you and your siblings were to each other.  How patient and positive and happy to be alive you were all day no matter what obstacles we faced, how few options we had for food, how many cranky people we interacted with, how many hours of sleepless travel, we were all so happy to FINALLY be going home, nothing seemed to phase us for long.  

When we arrived home and you stepped off that Aramco bus you practically flew into your Daddy's arms and hugged him so tight.  You watched him shave his beard he grew while we were away and went to sleep in your own bed for the first time in four months with the sweetest peaceful smile on your face.  We spent the next two weeks in the greatest quarantine.  Snuggling and movies and games.  Lazy mornings, so many books, and so many hugs.  It was blissful.  

We spent the rest of the summer just laying low.  We went to the beach almost every week, swam in our little backyard pool every day, sometimes multiple times a day, played video games and board games, did our workbooks and chores, and just relaxed together.  School started too soon, virtually as we expected.  Your teacher, Ms. Ami, seems to be a really good fit for you.  She's kind but firm and you really like her.  We did virtual school from August until November when we were finally able to go to a hybrid schedule which means you do a little video specials class in the morning and then you go to school for a couple of hours in the afternoon with half of your class.  You love getting on that big bus with your brother Finn and sister and you always get off it so happy and excited to tell me about the things you learned and did.  

It'll be interesting to see how school goes for you next year.  For everyone, really.  Because this year has been such a different experience for school.  A lot of virtual followed by just not enough time in person.  I'm so grateful for the hybrid schedule but I just know there are some things that you need that aren't quite able to happen this year because of the limitations of COVID and the school.  You're a smart girl and a strong girl.  I know you'll be just fine if you set your mind to it.  You almost always get what you set your mind to little lady.

On November 30th we went to the states to visit our family in NH and it was so wonderful.  We spent a day skiing and playing in the snow, did some shopping, and spend every night at the Emery Road Makechnie house playing with the dogs, wrestling with cousin Nelson who was doing his at home MTC, reading books with Grandpa Arthur, baking with Uncle Gregor, taking walks with Auntie Amy and cousin Paige, or painting nails with cousin Cope.  It was a wonderful week of reconnecting and deep breaths of cold winter air.  You couldn't get enough.  The cold or mud didn't bother you one bit.  

On our last day in NH we surprised you and told you our next week would be spent in Disney World.  We had the most amazing time riding rides, eating yummy food (your favorite was the Gaston cinnamon rolls!) exploring and playing together.  There were just a few rides that you were a touch too short for.  And while I'm not sure if you would have loved them as you're still just a little nervous about wild rides, you were none too keen on being the one left out because Kenna was just that magic one inch taller than you.  While we rode those rides you'd take off with your Dad and get a treat or ride something else just the two of you.  Taryn, you have the greatest dad.  He is such a softie in your hands.  He loves you so much and wants you to be oh so happy.  One of my favorite things about Disney World was watching how your brothers interacted with you while we were in line for a ride you didn't remember or hadn't been on before.  They'd put their arms around you, change the tone of their voices to a gentle and animated tone to describe what would happen on the ride in great detail so that you would know what to expect and not feel afraid.  It was so sweet to watch them become your mentors and to see you listen to them in a special way because they're your big brothers.  You rode some big rides, and while I'm not sure if they were your favorites, you were so brave and just loved the adrenaline of big dips and fast corners.  It was a magical and healing week for our family to be able to have such a grand adventure together after such a hard year.  

We got home a week before Christmas and it was a wonderful Christmas.  You asked Santa for a lollipop and he brought you a whole package of lollipops and it might as well have been the moon for how excited you were.  We spend some time in the states shopping for Finn who you gave to this year and you picked out the most thoughtful gifts for him.  Your excitement watching him open his presents might have been the best part of your Christmas.

Oh my Taryn, what a year.  It's been so full and hard and really great too.  You ask all the time when COVID will be over and I wish I had an answer for you.  Most of the time you've been able to roll with the punches this pandemic throws your way, but once in a while you get socked down and reminded when you see that basket of ballet clothes in the closet that we can't have ballet class right now, or when you want to sell lemonade on the corner that we're still in the middle of a pandemic and we really can't pass out lemonade right now.  I know honey.  I want it to be over too.  But we're all together.  And if we learned one thing this year, it's that our family can do pretty much anything together, babe.

You, little lady, are a whirlwind of creative energy.  You love to pull paper out of the closet and color or water paint or stamp or create a colored pencil masterpiece (rainbows are your specialty of the moment) and then write a note on the back to give to someone you love, usually with some small treat taped to it and sometimes tied with a curling ribbon.  You leave a shower of things in your wake but I try hard not to slow you down because watching your brain create is a feat to behold.  You have very little patience for sitting down for reading practice, but you and your sister can spend hours over days creating and decorating a box to turn it into the perfect doll house or stuffed animal house.  And hours scheming over the perfect design for your fairy house or welcome sign to put in the flower pot next to the fairy house.  You love to create, you love to pick out your own clothes, and you love anything with sparkles or shine or glitter.  You ask me at least once a week if you can wear my makeup yet and having painted fingernails or fancy shoes shifts the way you carry yourself entirely.  

You love to eat.  You have a real sweet tooth.  If we let you I think you'd eat lolly pops all day long.  But you also LOVE macarons (especially when you get to make them with me.  Basically you like to stick your finger in the batter and choose the colors and flavors of cookies and frosting).  You love ice cream and any kind of cookie.  You also love any kind of fruit, you'll tolerate a potato or cauliflower, but you'll eat chicken and rice without much complaint.  You love fruit juice and that's usually your treat of choice when we go to the com together.  You prefer your pasta with white sauce and your apples sliced and with peanut butter.

Taryn girl, I just adore you.  Your enthusiasm about things that make you happy is so sweet it makes my sweet tooth hurt.  And your fury is so quick and hot it burns up anyone who's too close.  You feel big and much.  It's a gift. And I'm sure it feels so hard sometimes too.  You're working on it.  You're trying to stay in control and you have many moments of beautiful spontaneous kindness.  You gave away almost all of your halloween candy taped to notes to anyone and everyone you could think of.  Last week you started doing your chore and then you just kept the vacuum out and vacuumed everyone else's zones too.  You have a big heart and a strong soul.  It's a marvel to behold, little one.  

Every so often I look at picture of you as a teensy tinsy little baby with a fuzzy head and calm clear eyes.  I miss tiny baby you.  Being able to hold all of you in my arms and meet all of your needs with just a snuggle or a song or a bottle of milk.  You are an incredible girl, Taryn.  So very smart, so very creative, so very strong.  I wish meeting all your needs was as easy as it was when you were that teensy baby, but just know, my girl that I love you fiercely.  I want you to be so very happy in your life and I am doing absolutely everything I can think of to meet your needs and to teach you what you need to know to be happy and successful. I am proud to be your Momma.  You are going to do incredible things and I, as always, am just glad to be along for the ride, sweetheart. 

Happy Birthday, little Taryn.  I love you so very much.

The world is yours, my girl.

Love,

Mom

Dear Kenna,

 Dear Kenna,

Oh my sweet girl you are 6!  I procrastinated writing your letter last year when you turned 5 until March and then COVID happened and we were stuck.  So this letter better be extra amazing after missing one year of letter-writing to the marvelous Kenna Makechnie!

Kenna girl you absolutely lit up in K4.  You weren't nervous in the slightest about getting on that little bus or going to school and had the best time in class with Ms. Allison.  I loved coming to "work" in your class every other week because you were so proud and happy to have me there and show me everything you were doing.  Your favorite spot in the classroom was the "maker table" where Ms. Allison brought milk cartons, take out containers, toilet paper rolls, tissue paper, anything and everything in a big box and you used it to make new creations every day and brought them home just glowing with pride at your new robot, mailbox, minecraft guy, etc.  It was a lot of stuff Kenna girl.  But it made you SO happy!  You loved coloring and often drew pictures for people and you loved writing stories and being able to read them to the class on the projector.  

In March we left for Utah to be at Auntie Mallo's wedding and we ended up getting stuck.  For four months.  Away from your Daddy, your toys, your craft closet, your bunk bed, your life in Saudi.  It was really hard.  You were so happy for your Auntie Mallo and you absolutely adore her man, Uncle Carson.  He is endlessly sweet to you and you poured a lot of fatherly affection on him while you were away from your Dad.  He couldn't sit down without you or Taryn climbing into his lap like you belonged there.  It was so sweet for you and your siblings to be able to attend Auntie Mallo's wedding since the temples were closed.  You wore a beautiful dress and had your own little bouquet which made you feel so special.  

We spent a lot of time in the mountains while we were in Utah.  We stayed in the Dibb's house in American Fork for a month where you shared a room with your siblings and then we moved to the Bourne's house in Lehi for another 3 months.  They were SO good to us and we were so grateful to have a place to stay while we were stuck.  Both houses were close to AF canyon.  We went hiking at least once a week as everything else closed down and we desperately needed to be in some nature and feel some sunshine.  We haven't had much opportunity to hike as a family living in Saudi except for the one or two hikes we take each summer in NH.  It was wonderful to see how you and Taryn have grown and the stamina that you had to keep going and climb steep trails without too much whining.  Finding flowers, looking for bugs and critters and sometimes snow, made the whole experience so magical.  Sometimes we went alone, often we had company from Aunts, Uncles, Nana and Grandpa.  I loved holding your little hand as we climbed in the mountains together.

We did a lot of fun things in Utah.  When things opened up a bit we went the aquarium, we ate out or got takeout, went on lots of walks, colored with chalk, rolled down hills, flew kites, played at the high school track with Mallo and Carson, played on the trampoline in the Bourne's back yard.  You, Taryn and Finny raced snails you found in the garden.  You and your siblings were rock stars last summer.  You each took turns having sad days and worry days but you helped each other and played together and loved each other.  Seeing your relationships and how much you've all grown together is one of my most treasured takeaways from this year.

We did virtual K4 for almost all of those four months and it was not ideal.  Lots of crafts and maker challenges, lots of little number games or finding shapes, or coloring pictures.  We'd watch the few little videos and take pictures to send to your teacher back in Saudi.  But we also got a set of Bob books, made some number flashcards, and did a little school work on our own.  And all of a sudden, Kenna, you turned into a reader.  Letters and sounds started to click.  You took so much pride in finishing bob books with me or on your own and couldn't wait for our daily facetime with your Dad so you could show him your new skills.  On our last day in Saudi as I was packing boxes, you sat down with Auntie Mallo and asked her to help you write a note to me.  That was your first note, Kenna babe.  It said, "I love you, thanks for letting us go home."  It was a moment for me.  Feeling so stressed about all the cleaning and packing with such short notice.  So frazzled at how fast it all had to be done and worried about the trip across the ocean in such an uncertain time. And so excited to finally be going home again.  And you, little Kenna, you sensed all that.  And you just had to do something sweet to make it all feel less stressful.  

On July 7th we FINALLY were able to go home.  It was the easiest and happiest 24 hour trip we've ever had.  You and your siblings were exhausted but no one complained because you were just so happy to be finally going home.  You fell asleep on the Aramco bus the last ten minutes of the drive so your siblings rushed out before I could get you up but once we left the bus you ran, sobbing into your daddy's arms.  So tired and SO glad to finally be home.  Those next two quarantine weeks were just wonderful.  All together.  So many movie nights, game nights, afternoon snuggle parties.  It was a warm and cozy quarantine.

We spent the summer doing our workbooks and chores in the morning, swimming in our little backyard pool, playing games, playing with friends, and we went to the beach almost every weekend.  Even with all of the stress in the world and in our little corner of the world after all of the lock-downs and trauma of surviving covid in Saudi, our family was just so happy to be together, not much could bother us for long.  

You started writing notes and it's like you were doing it your whole life.  Mostly "I luv yoo". sometimes the o's are hearts.  You know how to write everyone's names in our family and you get very hurt if someone points out a spelling error because you put your whole heart into every kind gesture.  You're a deep feeler, Kenna love.  If anyone gets hurt, you're running for an ice pack or a bandaid.  If mom is stressed you say, "Thanks for being our Mom.  I know you're feeling stressed right now.  It's hard to be a mom, isn't it?"  You're very thoughtful and you notice details a lot of people miss.  I learn a lot from you, sweetheart.  I feel like I understand you at your core.  It's heavy sometimes to feel so much, isn't it?  But it's also a gift you have.  To notice and lift where you can.  But I must say, I'm pretty proud of you when I see you stand up for yourself or what you want because far too often you yield your own wishes to others.  I hope you know that you are important, and you deserve to be taken care of and have what you want too.

You are a good little eater.  You like sweets but you're usually fine with a bite or two.  You could eat fruit all day, especially bananas.  You know fruit is always okay so whenever you start to say, "I'm hungry.." you stop yourself and say, "Can I have a banana?!" You probably eat at least one banana every day.  You also love yogurt drinks, nectarines but not plums so much, apples but only if they're cut, any kind of berry, and you'll also eat bell peppers.  Your recent favorite is a crustless quiche that we've made a lot recently.  It's got a ton of broccoli but you can pack away at least two slices easily.  

We started virtual school in August and it was fine.  Fine but not great.  It's hard to sit in front of a screen for kindergarten and stay engaged but man, your teacher Mr. Graham sure did his best!  He had puppets and songs and silly games and you just adore him.  We were all celebrating when you were able to go back to hybrid school in November.  You do chores and one virtual special video in the mornings and then you go to school just for the afternoons four days a week.  Even with the distance and the masks you still love going to school. I'm SO glad you are able to go in person.  So many people still can't.  You've become such a great reader this year and you love sitting down with a pile of books.  If they're at your level you read them word for word, if they're not you just tell the story, whispering to yourself or to Taryn as you turn the pages and admire the pictures.  

On November 30 we were able to get out to NH to visit family.  Watching you run up the street to give Grandpa Arthur a big hug will be one of my favorite memories.  You just held him and he bent over to hug you for probably a minute.  You loved playing with cousin Paige and you had the best time going for snowy walks with Artie and Tenny, and Auntie Amy, completely undeterred by the snow and wind outside.  We spend one day skiing but you were only out there for a couple of hours and the rest of the time we played together in the snow.  You were enchanted by icicles and have the most creative ideas of imaginative play.  

We surprised you and took you guys to Disney World for the last week of our time in the states.  It was wonderful.  You were just tall enough to ride nearly every ride now.  An inch taller than Taryn so she missed out on a few and you completely surprised me by being a real dare-devil.  You loved the speed, the drops, and weren't bothered in the slightest by the darkness on some rides.  It was a shock to me to look at my little baby girl and realize that you're now a big kid who can play with me and your siblings in a whole new way!  You loved it all.  The music, the Christmas decorations, the characters who came by in unscheduled cavalcades, the rides, the shops.  It was all magic to you and watching you and your siblings be grateful and soak up the Disney magic made your Dad and I so happy and so proud.  It was a healing trip for us.  Being together and playing so much. 

Christmas was lovely this year.  We wished that Mallo and Carson could have visited us like they had planned but no visitors were allowed into Saudi so that wasn't possible.  We had a sweet, quiet Christmas at home and even went camping a couple of times over the long break.  You asked Santa for a locket with a K on it!  You gave very thoughtful gifts to your brother Tate that you picked out at Target and watching you and your siblings be excited to share those gifts was the sweetest part of Christmas by far.  

Kenna, I love you.  Your siblings love you.  Your Daddy is smitten with you.  You have the most gentle eyes, a sweet smile, and a heart that feels with others and wants to make the world a happier place.  You are a treasure to our family, my little lady.  It's been a hard year in a lot of ways, but it's been a good year for you.  Lots of growth.  Lots of love.  Lots of adventures.  And you have loved it all as only you can.  

I love and admire you so very much, my little one.  Happy Birthday, sweetie.

The world is yours, Kenna.

Love,

Mom

Dear Finn,

 Dear Finn,

Wow what a year! I can't believe you're nine.  This year of COVID both flew by and never seemed to end.  I had many moments of surprise at how you're growing and learning and changing when your church shoes that you haven't worn for 6 months suddenly didn't fit. Or you suddenly know how to spell words and are gaining more confidence and less frustration in school.  Those moments are surprising this year because so much seems to be at a stand still, a holding pattern, a wait and see.  But through it all, the time still passes and you still grow and change and become more of who you are going to be.  It's been so encouraging to watch you this last year, Finn.  You are an incredible boy. 

We celebrated your 8th birthday in Austria with our friends the Weitzels.  Then Christmas at home and the start of another school trimester in Dhahran.  You started another season of baseball playing with your friends with your dad as your coach.  So excited for the season.  Taryn and Kenna were playing for the first time last spring and you were so excited to show them the ropes.  Then February came around and we heard whisperings of a new virus. We thought everyone was over-reacting.  That it was just a flu bug and it would play itself out without much impact on our lives. Then March came and we very quickly realized that things could shift overnight.  We made a prayerful decision to move our tickets to the US up so we could make it to Mallory's wedding.  We left on March 10th thinking that Dad would join us in a couple of weeks for the wedding and then we'd all go home together.  We were wrong.  Two days after we arrived the borders closed to Saudi Arabia.  No one in or out.  We kept praying and hoping but that three weeks turned into four months of separation from our lives here in Saudi and from Glenn.  The best dad in the world.  

I'm so glad that we were able to celebrate your Auntie Mallo's wedding.  It was such a special day and it was really wonderful that you were able to be present for the wedding of your favorite Auntie as you wouldn't have been if COVID hadn't closed the temples and changed everything.  You met Uncle Carson for the first time at Nana's house and he immediately jumped into 007 with you and Tate and absolutely won you over.  We had so much fun with Mallo and Carson especially while we were stuck in Utah and having so much time to spend with the family was an unusual gift for us.  Living abroad means just a week or so of time with family each year but being able to see people we love once a week or even more frequently was awesome.  And eased the loneliness so much.  You had a special connection too with cousin Tucker.  He adored you and would babble back and forth with you and save his best smiles for you.  Your siblings were so jealous of his attention to your connection with him.  But it was pretty sweet.  You've always had that easy, magnetic way with little kids.  They're drawn to you and you just love them so much.

We spent a month living at the Dibb's home in American Fork.  All four of you slept in the same bedroom which made bedtime a little bit complicated.  But I think you also secretly loved the closeness during such an uncertain time.  Then we moved to the Bourne's house in Lehi.  It was much bigger and had a huge yard in a fun neighborhood.  We went on lots of hikes, walks, played on the trampoline, practiced piano and did chores.  We tried so hard to find fun things to do outside while the world was shutting down.  We were very lucky to be so close to AF canyon and always have that outside time available to us when everything else was gone.  You became an awesome hiker, pushing yourself and complaining very little.  We had facetime calls and scriptures with Glenn every day around lunch time before he went to bed.  Your poor dad was SO lonely and bored sitting at home all alone.  Much of the time we were separated Saudi was on full lock down without him being able to even go to the grocery store without an appointment.  It wasn't enough time with him, but at least we got to see his face.  And occasionally he'd be able to help you with school work if I was helping another kiddo.

We started virtual school right after we arrived and continued every day until the end of June.  Having school on Sundays was a little bit of a bummer and you just did not love sitting in front of an ipad for a few hours every day.  But you did it.  We'd do math worksheets, write stories, watch videos and then take pictures of all of your work every day and send it in to your teacher, Ms. Lynch.  Mr. Cager was your second grade teacher until he took another job within the company and Ms. Lynch took over the class for him ONE WEEK before they shut down the school and transitioned to virtual.  She did a great job.  But man, that was a lot to cope with all at once!  

You loved the science sections of virtual school when you were able to go outside with your sisters to examine plants or find soil samples.  Your favorite little adventure together was once we moved to the Bourne's house and their porch was covered with snails, you and your sisters would spend hours gathering them and "racing" them across the sidewalk.   And you loved tinker Tuesday.  It was basically a day to watch a few videos about a type of project, and then build or craft something.  I wish that I had more supplies or more energy to help you on those days because you absolutely loved trying to make something work and were so bugged if your lego man glider didn't glide the way you wanted it to from the second story balcony.  

Another highlight of our time in the states was our weekly facetime DnD games with the Weitzels and your dad on Saturday mornings.  It was so nice of Mr. Paul to coordinated that for us so you could see your friends and play together with your dad.  You've grown to really love DnD this year and I think those weekly games were a huge contributing factor.  You get really into the adventures and once came into me in tears "I lost my mace!"  You apparently didn't have a high enough roll and accidentally threw your mace into lava and it was gone.  But Mr. Paul noticed the trauma and you ended up acquiring a cimeter in the same game so everything was fine again. 

We went to a few appointments as things opened up more to try to get some testing for you to see if what was going on would be diagnosed as Dyslexia or Dysgraphia.  But the offices either were booked out for several months, or didn't have any testing for those specific issues so we left empty handed.  

We tried to make the time apart fun and you were so much help.  Making lunches, doing chores, helping your sisters, trying to cheer me up.  You had your sad days like the rest of us.  Days when you'd wake up and say to me through tears, "Mom, I don't know what's wrong but I just don't feel like I can be happy today."  I get that buddy.  It was hard.  We had a couple little weekend getaways in Park City.  One in the Arnold's house and one in a rental with Mallo, Carson, Nana, Grandpa, Kenzie, Trevan and Tucker over the fourth of July.  That was a fun last hurrah as little did we know we got a phone call on the 5th and Glenn had found us a way home.  The company was getting some employees through from Dubai and we were the first family to get spots on those flights because your dad had been pushing and working so hard to get us home.  We finally made it home on July 7th.  It was a great day. Airports were practically closed.  All the shops were closed, we wore masks on the whole trip.  The travel day was long and lots of waiting and worry.  But you kids were so excited to be going home it was a magical day.  No complaining.  No crying.  Just so happy and excited to be finally going home.  We got to quarantine for two weeks and it was the best two weeks of the year.  No school, no schedule, just movie nights, games, reading and playing and being together.  Glenn bought a new Nintendo Switch while we were away and you and Tate were ecstatic to have new games to play together when we got home.

You were baptized on August 14th in our little backyard pool.  We had planned your baptism for the day before Auntie Mallo's wedding but then when Glenn couldn't make it to the states that was obviously not happening.  It was not at all what I imagined your baptism being like, but after such a long wait, it was so perfect.  We had the Larsons and the Weitzels in the room and Mallo and Carson, Nana and Grandpa, Kenzie and Trevan and Gregor and Amy on zoom with us from around the world.  You asked Nana and Mallo to give the talks and they were so perfect.  It was small, filled with the spirit, and all about you.  I am so proud of you Finn.  You are full of fun and energy and busyness. But you're also so tender and you feel the spirit so strongly.  You said that night that when you were confirmed you felt the spirit stronger than you ever had before in your life.  It makes my momma heart so happy to know that you can recognize so clearly when the spirit is speaking to you.  I hope you always seek it out and know how crucial it's presence is in your life.

We took a weekend trip to Riyadh in September with the family which was really fun.  We listened to audio books and watched movies on the drive.  We went up in Kingdom Tower and visited chop chop square and ate some yummy food.  It was a healing adventure for our family that was initially filled with a lot of anxiety in an uncertain world and after a traumatic last travel experience.  

When school started it was virtual for three months.  Your teacher, Mr. Hjeresen is so perfect for you and works so hard to find ways to connect and check on you.  He's called a few times to encourage or offer suggestions and his greatest piece of advice is to just be patient with this year.  That 3rd grade is often a turning point for kids who are frustrated with writing and he often sees a huge increase in stamina and ability during this year.  You had google meets every hour with your class and you seemed engaged and happy to be there and then you'd have some assignments to work on in between the meets.  You'd finish all of your school work by lunch and just have practicing, chores and exercise during the afternoons.  Overall you took pretty well to virtual school but you were SO excited when classes started in person in November.   You're a social little being and you'd really missed being in a classroom with classmates and a teacher in person.  We moved to a hybrid schedule and had your specials classes in the morning and then went to school with half of your class in-person in the afternoons four days a week with Tuesdays remaining a Tinker Tuesday.  You were SO excited to be in the classroom again and weren't discouraged by the extra restrictions one bit.  

Your dad has been taking you out to play baseball every Saturday morning and it's the highlight of your week.  Sometimes your siblings come and sometimes friends from your baseball team show up.  We're still not allowed to have any kind of sports or activities so you're missing organized sports but luckily you have a wonderful daddy who can spend time helping you progress and have fun playing sports.

We were praying in every prayer this fall that the country would stay open and allow us to leave to visit Grandpa Arthur over the winter break and it happened!  We were able to leave on November 30th and get home on December 18th and then Saudi shut the borders for two weeks on December 21st!  You had the most wonderful trip.  You loved being in New Hampshire and were constantly asking questions like, "Mom, could I live here when I grow up?"   "How much money do I have to make to live in New Hampshire?"  It was different this year as we didn't stay with Gregor and Amy in their home.  We stayed in Patty's home, a teacher at Proctor who was out of town which meant our family time was different and limited.  But we were able to see them.  You snuggled with Grandpa in his recliner.  Played catch with Uncle Ian.  Had talks with Uncle Gregor, and played with the puppies and cousins.  Your favorite day was probably the day we went skiing.  We were lucky to get in a few runs when the lifts finally opened in the afternoon in Waterville Valley.  It was beautiful and so cold and the cold didn't bother you one bit.  You were all in on whatever errands or adventures we came up with and you were grateful and happy to just be in New Hampshire and all together.

We surprised you on our last day in New Hampshire and told you guys we had a trip to Disney World for the last part of our trip in the states.  You were such a gem the whole week.  Saying thank you after every ride and every treat and every meal.  So grateful and just overflowing with joy at being in Disney World together.  We felt really safe there with all the precautions Disney put in place and with slightly lighter crowds and a good game plan every day we had a lot of success getting all the rides in that we wanted to without feeling super stressed.  Your favorite rides were the rides that were big and fast and you started to balk a bit at the little kid rides, convinced that they held no thrill for you anymore now that you've tasted the speed of the big coasters.  You loved space mountain, the new Avatar ride (and you and Tate stayed up in our hotel room watching the movie for a few days with your dad and I so we could show you the backstory), test track, expedition Everest, and of course the new star wars rides, especially Rise of the Resistance.  You were an absolute joy to be around in Disney World and your attitude affected your siblings and parents so much.  You were quick to put your arm around the shoulder of your sisters if they were nervous and to tell them what the ride was like so they wouldn't be afraid.  Or to distract them if they were feeling tired and grumpy.  You were a leader in positivity and gratitude and man was it wonderful.  You still claim that Disneyland Paris is your favorite but maybe only slightly.  We spent a day at Universal Studios as well and there were a couple of big coasters that you passed on but the ones you rode you loved.  Very little fear and so much fun in your soul, little boy. 

We've spent a LOT of time in our home with our family this year.  SO much time.  You and Tate have become even closer this year because you've always had each other.  Scheming about a new fan-fiction story that you want to write together, a DnD campaign or move you want to try, building legos, or playing or talking about playing video games.  You're such good buddies and it's been a gift of this year of very little outside of the home, that you and he get along so well.  And that you are such a wonderful older brother to your sisters.  They adore you and you are always willing to read them a story, play a game with them or engage in a wrestling match.  

Finny, this was a year for the books. It was so hard and so great too.  You were a trooper in all the best ways this year.  You're a marvel and an example to me.  I love your infectious giggle.  I adore your goofy facial expressions.  I appreciate and can't live without your positivity and the way your natural disposition to look for the good brightens our home and our family.  Thank you for being you, my boy.  I just can't believe you've been my boy for 9 years.  Where did they go?!  

You are a gift to me and to our family, Finny.  I love you so so much.

The world is yours, Finn.

Love,

Mom

Dear Taryn,

Dear Taryn,

You are five.  Oh my heart just broke a teensy bit typing those words.  It feels like a moment ago we were bringing you and your sister home to Rakah, just tiny little people way at the bottom of those baby car seats.  You were the easiest, quietest, sleepiest little baby.  You didn't smile for just anyone and you kept your feelings pretty under wraps.  Then you turned one and we started to see who you would really become.  It seems like every year you become a little more you.  And every year we get a little different version as you figure out how you're going to master this world you're in.  Because that it what it looks like.  Watching you grow from baby girl to 5 year old has looked like watching you decide over and over again exactly how you're going to master your world this time.  Jumping and wrestling, screaming and hitting, running and hugging with your tiny muscly body so tight it's surprising.  Every year you seem to decide how you're going to dominate that year and no matter what we try to do to steer or love you into line, you go where your spirit dictates.  You are an incredible, spirited, full of fun and mischief and energy little bundle of lady.  

This year of your life we've had some pretty incredible experiences.  We spent spring break with the Browns visiting them in Malaysia and then traveling with them to Thailand.  You loved Thailand.  The beaches and adventure of it all agreed with you very much.  You can be very timid around new things and then once we help you get going you're jumping headfirst in no time.  But that first toe touch into the new is so scary for you.  We weren't sure how long it would take for you to warm up to interacting with elephants up close and personal but you jumped right in and encouraged Kenna when she was much more nervous to give it a go.  You two are really good for each other in that way.  You're encouraging to each other and you listen to each other if one says it's safe to proceed.  You got right in there and were absolutely thrilled to be feeding elephants and petting their trunks and talking to them like you were old friends.  It will be one of my favorite memories of traveling with you, little T.  Watching tiny little you just chatting away and completely at home with those magnificent animals.  The canoeing through caves and grottos in Phuket made you very nervous but you hung on and got over your jitters quickly after we emerged from the dark.  

On our way home from repat we stopped in London.  We'd done a lot of research on the places we were going to visit and the plays we were able to see and you were so excited.  Your first West End show was the Lion King.  You loved it.  It was so late at night and you guys were tired but you stayed awake to the end and watching your face, your hilarious whole head facial expressions reacting to the magic in that theater, was far more entertaining than any West End show.  We saw Wicked the next day and it was magical as well after listening to the music for so long.  I think we're going to have a wonderful life of loving plays and musicals together.

Over Saudi National Day we went to Paris.  You did a presentation on the Palace of Versailles and were pretty excited to see it on our bike tour.  That was a wonderful day.  Really fun ride-along bikes for you and Kenna, a delicious fresh market picnic on the grounds, and the gorgeous palace to boot.  You and Kenna couldn't really be bothered to listen to the guide, so when we stopped you were off exploring the forest and fields and picking up nuts and sticks to throw in the fountains and lakes.  I love traveling with you little kids.  You never let me forget that Marie Antoinette's hamlet is no more fascinating than the huge muskrat we found in the bushes or the nuts covering the ground and how far you can throw them in the pond.  Disneyland Paris was magical with you little T.  You loved the fireworks show at night.  You loved every little ride.  Pirates and haunted mansion made you nervous because they were so dark.  But you had a great time and found it all enchanting.  Another year or two and you'll be riding the big rides with your brothers and I.  I'm excited to see how you handle that!

This fall your brothers, your Dad and I were in rehearsals a couple of times a week for "A Dickens Carol".  You had Haley or Megan Spriggs over to babysit for dinner and bed time and while last year during Grease you gave your babysitters a very difficult time, you seemed to really look forward to your evenings with babysitters this time.  You stayed in bed and played and had so much fun with them.  I had to buy packs of construction paper half way through our rehearsals because you ladies would go through so much paper coloring and crafting with your babysitters.  Paper snow flakes got to be very exciting and your favorite thing to do with your creations is immediately get tape and tape them to the walls or windows.  You were a great sport while we were in a play.  We're loving this break from a show though and are excited to have more time to just be with you guys.  

Before Christmas we went to Austria with the Weitzels.  You love the Wetizels and every time we get together you're just as excited as can be.  Vacationing with them was great.  You guys played so nicely with their kiddos and I think having friends in ski school made it even more fun.  You loved ski school but had a hard time paying attention for that long.  It was just sort of a party for you until Kenna started to snow plow and be able to stop herself better than you and she moved to the rope tow for the last afternoon and then you realized that maybe you should have been putting forth a little more effort.  I think that's going to continue to be a tricky thing as you two grow.  Comparing yourselves to each other is going to be unavoidable but unfair because you're just so different from each other.

You have loved K4 this year and your dad and I could not have designed a better teacher for you.  Ms. Nina is new this year and she has twin babies which you think is awesome.  She is bubbly and calm, clear and loving, firm and fun.  Every rule or transition has a song and while I'm certain you're still a stinker when you decide to be, you seem to really love and want to please her which makes us oh so happy.  It's been perfect to have you and Kenna in your own classes making your own friends and coming home with your own different crafts and stories.  You've thrived with a little more independence.  You still have class with Ms. Teresa three mornings a week and we wondered before school started if that would be too much for you, but you love it.  The two different environments have been good for you in different ways.  You struggle sometimes with Ms. Teresa's class full of younger kids to remember to control your temper or to listen on days when you're just stuck in stubborn, but overall I think it's been really good for you to be so busy.  You're SO busy, Taryn.  In the afternoons when I have to be helping brothers with homework or practicing or making dinner you and your sister just need SO much attention and if you don't get it in a positive way, you guys fight and get in trouble.  So having more to keep you busy has been very good for you.

You are starting to read this year and most of the time you do not love it.  In the past year we started with letter names and sounds.  Those two together were absolutely a no go.  We resorted to just memorizing sounds with flashcards and it worked better but only if we kept the practice very brief.  There are still about 4 letter sounds that just won't stick in your brain.  It's so frustrating to you and while we try to make special "reading practice" snuggle time alone just with mom, it's still not your favorite because it's a little harder for you.  You're still so little to be reading but you are a smart little lass so I know you can do it if we keep trying without pushing you too hard.  It'll be interesting to see how your reading transforms over the next year.  

You started a ballet class and playing t-ball this year which has added to our family busy-ness but you seem to love having more to do.  Your ballet class it just once a week and you're very excited about the recital coming up in the spring and the costumes and everything.  You remind us often that there should be a bouquet of flowers for you after you're done.  T-ball is really just warming you up to the idea of sports.  It's a huge team of little kids and they're all new to the process and just trying to stay on the field or run in the right direction is about all we can do.  But you do love a little cheering on and you run your tiny legs while holding onto your pink helmet after you hit the ball and then give me a happy dance from 1st base and it's about the most darling thing I've ever seen.

You love your sister Kenna.  You're best buds and you can also get on each other's nerves more than anything else.  You two are doing so much better playing together nicely.  There are times when you disappear to the craft table or to your bedroom, or making a pile of pillows and blankets for some sort of fort or animal bed, or find a cardboard box and transform it into a doll house and play make-believe for an hour.  And some days one of you is just in a mood and spends the day tormenting and teasing the other.  You're going to grow and learn so much from being a twin.  It's hard some days but having someone who's right there with you going through the same things is going to be a huge asset to your life, little T.  

You love your brothers too.  Tate and Finn will wrestle with you or tickle you any time you ask.  They think you are the cutest little girlies and they are correct.  You have a soft spot for your Daddy but you come to me when you get hurt.  Or, lately, you've been just getting your own bandaid and then going back to playing on your own.  

You have a serious sweet tooth and could eat candy all day if we let you.  Sometimes when you're in a mood you spend all day sneaking treats from cupboards or the pantry or the fridge or swiping handfuls of your siblings cereal or treats.  When you want something and are told no it is very difficult for you.  You're starting to grow and that disappointment is starting to become bearable, but again, it depends on the day.  I can't think of any vegetables that you enjoy eating but you'll eat most any fruit.  You're not a huge fan of bread and you skip dinner almost every night because we try hard to have healthy dinners with a lot of veggies and you just say no thank you.  You have stopped asking for anything else or being rude about the food I put in front of you which has been a miraculous attitude shift.  

You're growing up, little T.  And while it breaks my heart, there are things that are wonderful about it.  There have been days when your feelings and angst were almost tangible all day long.  Deep discontent with life and everything in it.  So angry it almost filled the room.  But now you're a little more in control most of the time.  You still have hard days when you push boundaries hard and fight fiercely but now I can see that it's because you're struggling.  And I think you can see it too.  And we can play a silly game or read a story or talk through things that we couldn't before.  You've become so much easier and kinder and more fun.  

Taryn, I love you.  I love your enormous facial expressions.  I love your sassy walk and your scrunchy smiles.  I love your huge hugs, your quick and messy craft projects.  Your way of living with so much passion and energy.  It looks exhausting but really fun too.  I love you, my little girl.  I'm sad that the past 5 years have gone so quickly, but I'm excited to see how you're going to dominate the world this year.  Happy Birthday, Princess.

The world is yours, baby girl.

Love,

Mom

Dear Finn,

Dear Finn,

Oh Finny boy it is unreal that you are 8 years old.  I miss your squishy, round face.  Your face that lit up the room with your smiles and your insistence on doing everything, "a self!".  I miss your rough and tumble wrestles and stunts and your basketball obsession.  I miss the little boy you.  You're SO big now.  And its so awesome to be your biggest fan through all your years and watch how the list of things I love about you doesn't really change, it just keeps growing.  You still light up the room with your smiles and giggles and goofy sound effects.  You still want to move and wrestle constantly, you're just a lot bigger now!  You are still obsessed with sports, but your favorite sport of the moment is baseball . You are an adventurous, pleasant, easy-going, confident, loving, kind, smart, FUN boy.  We all adore you and we're excited to see what new things we'll get to learn and love about you in your next year.

During the spring you played baseball again with your dad as coach.  You loved it.  You get frustrated when you can't pick something up as quickly as someone else or when you feel like something is unfair (which we find to be the case much more often if you're hungry or tired...).  You're a great baseball player. You hit hard and you run fast.  Obviously you like hitting the most, but you try really hard to stay focused in the field too so you can be a contributing player on your team.  

During spring break this year we traveled to Thailand and Malaysia with our good friends the Browns where we played with elephants, you discovered a new love of zip-lining (you were TERRIFIED before that first line but once that was behind you, you were ecstatic!), kayaked in sea caves, played in huge waves, met some jellyfish and so much more all with some great buddies.  

We stopped in London on the way home to repat and you saw your first West End shows!  I was so proud of how much you loved them.  We spent weeks prepping you with the story and the music of Les Mis and doing presentations about different aspects of the productions.  You saw Les Mis, Wicked, and the Lion King and you loved them all.  You have a surprisingly tender heart for such a rough and tumble boy and it's such a beautiful asset.  Knowing that you feel deeply and love deeply makes my heart proud.  We had a super busy repat and spent time in Denver (where you did your first little lacrosse camp and LOVED IT), Utah, Pennsylvania, and New Hampshire.  I think you would really love playing lacrosse if we could figure out how to start a group here without it taking over our lives.  You shone knowing that you playing lacrosse made your daddy proud.  

Another summer highlight was going on the ultimate dad date to a Red Sox game while we were in New Hampshire.  You got a ball tossed to you in the stands because you made a big sign.  You came home with a hoodie and a hat and a host of other little things and being the sentimental boy you are, they're all instant treasures.  Reminders of a magical night with your dad at Fenway.  That experience made your love of baseball grow even more and this fall, in addition to playing on a team again, you've attended several training sessions with a coach who travels to run training sessions and have improved so much in discipline and skill.  

We spent Saudi National Day weekend in September in Paris.  You loved Paris but Paris Disneyland won your heart.  You couldn't stop crying on our walk home on the last night in the parks.  Saying adorable things like, "This is my last ride.  I better savor it!" with your eyes brimming with tears.  Or, "I'm going to miss this place so much.  It makes my heart hurt!"  Or not wearing shirts that you wore in the parks for weeks because it made you too sad to be reminded that it was over.  Oh Finny.  You were tall enough this time to ride all of the big rides and I LOVED riding them over and over with you.  Space Mountain was probably your favorite.  It was intense in Paris and you could have ridden it all day and often remarked at how some of the slower paced rides were not as fun.  It's moments like this, when I get to do things that I love with my kids that I feel like it might be all right if you grow up a little bit because big kid Finn is super fun to be around.

We went to Austria before Christmas and you turned 8 on our last day of the trip.  You took three days of ski school and you took to skis like a fish to water.  No fear.  Total control.  You got frustrated when you made mistakes but you kept at it.  At the end of the last day of school they had a little ski race.  My momma heart was flying watching you swerve around those gates down the slope after only a few days on skis in your whole existence!  It makes me so proud watching you learn new and difficult things.  To face obstacles and push through to develop new skills.  So proud.  They got your race bibs mixed up so they were calling Tate's name over the speaker as you came down the hill and you were so frustrated.  Sure that since they had mixed up your numbers that when you won, because you were pretty sure you would, that Tate would get the credit.  Generally, confidence is not an area of weakness for you.

This year you're in second grade with Mr. Cager as your teacher.  He can be pretty strict and definitely keeps you in line.  Not that you need it.  You're a good student and, while you can be goofy and silly at times, generally do quite well in the classroom.  This year we started to notice that you might be struggling just a bit in reading.  You'd miss or substitute words or skip several lines of text.  We were lucky to get you in to some tutoring with Ms. LeNae in our group and for the last couple of months we've been meeting with her before school every day.  You've never seemed the least bit bothered by this addition to your schedule, nor do you seem the least bit insecure from the news that you may have some sort of learning challenge having to do with reading or writing.  We'll see what happens as the year progresses but thus far you're just happy being you and all that comes with it.  And that is as it should be, because all you are is pretty marvelous.  

You auditioned last spring and made it into a children's choir on camp that you sing with once a week with Tate and a few other friends.  Ms. Kelly is so great and you all come out of practice with big smiles on your faces having had so much fun making music together which is just awesome.  You even got a solo about a month back and you were SO proud of that fact.  We can't wait to hear your first concert in about a month.  

Also last spring you and Tate auditioned with us to be in "A Dickens Carol" and we all got in.  It was so fun to watch you be excited to audition and how much you talked about it afterward.  How hard you tried during rehearsals to remember everything we asked you to do and to not miss a reaction or line.  You could be pretty silly too, wrestling with your brother or playing around with your friends.  But overall, for such a crazy busy fall, you were a rock star.  So many afternoons of rushing from one activity to the next. Dinner when you got home at 7pm or dinner in the DTG house kitchen from a tupperware.  And when performance time came you absolutely lit up on stage.  You were tired at the end of 8 shows but also sad to see it end.  You had a little bit where you stole Paul Weitzel's wallet in the opener and he let you keep the wallet at the end of the show.  You treasure that thing as a reminder of the times you had in the play.  It's so sweet. 

You're still a great eater.  You'll try most anything we give you to eat.  You still prefer fruit to most anything.  You don't love vegetables or most healthy meals really, but if we ask you to eat your dinner you do.  You still don't love sweets.  You'll eat the occasional cookie or candy but you don't really need cake or brownies or much of any treat really.  Your Halloween and Christmas stocking candy go largely untouched for about a month until eventually it just gets thrown out.  

You've been such a good piano student this year.  You get out of bed and get your technique done before breakfast and then we sit down to work on songs at lunch or after school together.  You definitely get frustrated from time to time if it's taken several goes at a section to get it right.  But once you get it right it's like something clicks in your brain and all the frustration and angst never was.  Now everything's good.  You've learned and played difficult songs this year for recitals.  Never a complaint about practicing.  Never a complaint about performing in then recitals.  You don't ever seem to be nervous.  You just do your thing and it's so musical and you're trying so hard that it just melts the audience to a puddle.

You're a very friendly boy.  You have some good buddies in scouts and in your classes at school and church.  You love playing with friends but you also love being home and playing with your brother.  You're such good buddies and always have each other's backs.  It makes my heart smile to watch you two.  Tate sometimes reads to you from the top bunk at night and it's one of your favorite things.  Your sisters adore you.  You are more than pleased to help me entertain them with a story or a wrestling match or to make up some obstacle course for them if I need to get dinner ready or work on something with Tate.  You are so sweet to them and they're huge fans of you.

You are in a phase of policing to make sure things are fair and good.  If someone breaks a rule, you tell us.  If someone gets one more or less of something, you point it out.  If someone is doing anything they shouldn't be, you make sure it's remedied.  It's SO hard for you to not be the parent or the coach or the teacher.  It itches your soul when something you want to be righted just needs to be let go.  But sometimes, little guy, it just does. 

Oh Finny boy, you're a light in our family.  You have your challenges and frustrations but most of the time you're just more than happy to be.  And we're beyond thrilled that we get you on our family team.  You're a great cheerleader and you can tell when someone needs cheering on.  You can teach and softly coach your sisters if they are in the mood to learn something from you.  You give the greatest hugs when we need a little lift.  You're patient and you just follow, happy to be, when someone else in the family needs some attention.  Kiddo, we're amazed by you.  We admire your attitude and your strength.  Your determination and your joy in life.  Our family is what it is because you are who you are.  We'd be lost without you, dear Finny.  

I look around our house and see pictures of cute little baby or little boy Finny and that Finny seems SO long ago when I see how big you've grown and the boy you've become.  But you've always been you.  So much wonderful you.  And it just keeps getting better.  I'm excited to see what new part of Finn I'm going to fall in love with in the coming year.  I adore you, my boy.

The world is yours, Finn.

Love,

Mom

Dear Tate,

Dear Tate,

Ten.  Oh man, your age has gone from single digits to double and I don't know if my heart can take it.  You've grown up so much this year in so many ways.  You're still the sweetest most compliant little boy but you're also starting to figure out what you really like and what you don't so much and you'll let us know.  But you'll still go along with something you're not into if we ask you to.  You've grown in height this year. You don't look like a kid any more.  You look like a young man and it wigs me out.  You've started letting go of my hand when we're in public which makes me so sad but you're ten now so I suppose it's time.  Your shoes are so big and your hands are reaching octaves without any trouble.  It's so weird.  I absolutely love watching you grow.  You're always the same brilliant little guy who would quote entire books before you were 1 and a half and burst into tears when you hear a sad story.  But as you get older there are new things to love like how you help your sisters put on their shoes without being asked and manage homework with considerably less stress, and have more grown up conversations about things with us and you always bring something new to the table.  I love you, ten year old Tate.  You're a pretty awesome ten year old.  

This year we've traveled to Egypt, the Netherlands, Belgium, Austria, Czech Republic and Germany and of course Saudi and the USA.  You loved Egypt.  The history and mythology especially fascinated you.  You came home and found out there was a series by the same author as Percy Jackson that was based on Egyptian mythology and you read the whole series in a couple of weeks.  You had a blast in Netherlands and loved learning about the WWII history and were really struck by the stories of Anne Frank and Corrie Ten Boom.  We weren't sure how you would handle skiing.  Coordination isn't your strongest suit and we were a little nervous that you'd let your nerves get the best of you when strapped to some skis at the top of a hill.  But you completely surprised us.  You had ski school one morning and then went back for the afternoon and by the end of that first day you'd moved over to the big teaching hill and were making turns and stopping at the bottom like it was no big thing.  You didn't seem nervous one bit.  Moments like that, Tate, where 7 year old you would have totally come apart being faced with a big icy hill but 10 year old you just take in the instruction and figure it out without letting your worries rule you, make me feel like I'm going to burst with pride.  It was a big win that you enjoyed skiing.  Would you rather be inside with a book?  Probably.  But you did it two days in a row and didn't complain or have a negative thing to say about it and that was pretty great.  Last year you had some rough moments, culminating in a really awful episode in the Egyptian Museum and we decided we needed to see a counselor in Denver while we were there last summer.  You had eye surgery to correct the cross which went really well.  You were SO excited to be glasses-free and pretty convinced that no one would recognize you without your glasses.  We were in Denver for a whole month and saw a great counselor every week.  She gave you a lot of tools and we loved having some more ideas of how to put you at ease when you are overwhelmed with emotions and it's been just so much better so far this school year.  You still have days, particularly when you go from school to club, to scouts, and then home and you still have to do homework that you just melt down because you're so worn out.  Generally you can recover quickly if you just take a little break.  Tate, you're just growing up so much.  

You read constantly.  You bring a book to read on the bus, you're reading as you walk in the door, at the table if I don't make you put it away so you will eat, on the couch, at the piano bench and for hours in bed at night.  Mythology and fantasy are definitely your favorite genres.  You can be coaxed to read other things but you'd always rather be reading those two genres.  Your favorite series this year has probably been wings of fire.  You're a huge fan of dragons and your mind and drawings are filled with dragons and ideas for your own graphic novel which would be a mashup of your favorite fantasy books.  

Your handwriting is getting a little rough this year.  Last year for a couple of months we had you work with an occupational therapist to help build your confidence that you CAN write neatly if you just take your time but now you just don't want to take your time and you get frustrated with us when we ask you to write it again.  We're trying not to get on you too much about it because it's not the worst thing in the world but we just know you can be neater if you slowed down a bit.  

You're very smart at math and finish your homework pretty quickly nowadays which is a huge blessing.  Once in a while you still get caught up feeling overwhelmed by what feels to you to be an insurmountable mountain of work but most of the time you're able to take things one step at a time after school and get things done.  

You're a great pianist.  We're still working on detailed work when learning songs on your own.  You can chart a piece that you've already learned really well independently but learning a new one without me sitting next to you is a little harder because you have to really pay attention to the notes and rhythms and how the right and left hands fit together and you'd rather me walk you through it.  You CAN do it, but you don't like to take the extra few seconds to figure it all out and you want to just play until it sounds right.  We're working on that.  

You've always loved music and this year your confidence singing and dancing is pretty adorable.  You dance with absolute abandon and it's so fun to watch.  Your moves are your very own and you love them and are quite certain you look the coolest of the cool.  I need to get you in a hip hop dance class next year because I think you'd really like to have a little repertoire of moves in your pocket.  You've gathered a little collection of pop songs that light you up and you want to look them up on youtube every time we're driving somewhere.   You just discovered "High School Musical" so that's your recent favorite.  But "Drag Me Down" by One Direction and "I Gotta Feeling" by the Black Eyed Peas are two of your favorite dance jams as well.  I used to wonder if you would ever want to be on stage but after watching a couple of middle school musicals with kids you look up to and seeing your Dad and I on stage this fall you're pretty excited for your chance to try out too.  I love that about you.  You are rarely embarrassed which as an easily embarrassed person, I admire so much.

You're still a pretty picky eater.  You'd prefer to stick to chicken nuggets, mac and cheese, sandwiches, pizza, and breakfast food for always.  But when I put vegetables on your plate and tell you that you need to eat a certain number of bites you'll do it without any complaining.  You might take quite a while, but you'll choke them down and that's a fantastic new change.  You don't have to like everything, kiddo.  We're just trying really hard to help you try new foods and get in the habit of eating fruits and veggies.  You know where our motivation comes from and that's why you don't fight it.  

You've got a couple of good friends.  Reece Weitzel is probably your closest.  You two are so much fun together.   You build cardboard forts or create imaginary worlds based on ALL of the books you two read.  You like hanging out with other kids but you don't often ask for play dates because you're pretty content hanging out with us and reading a book.  You had a movie night birthday party and you invited four boys from the ward (Reece Weitzel, Max Arnold, Jude Swensen, and Ben Weight) and one from school (Abubaqer), and you know what kiddo, they were the most polite, fun, friendly boys and your dad and I just stood in the kitchen watching you guys talk through the movie on the couches and said to each other, "If this is our son's peer group and this is the quality of kids he could be friends with through teenager years, maybe we should think about staying here longer."  You're in a really good place with school and friends and yourself.  I know that some rocky years are likely on the way, and I'm just dreading the time when you care what other people think about you or have friends say unkind things that leave you doubting yourself or wounded.  I hope this being completely happy about who you are stays with you because Tate, you're pretty magnificent.  

Last spring you played basketball and did gymnastics and learned tennis with Wendy Weitzel.  She was an amazing teacher but she's been a little too busy to teach this year.  I think we might want to get you into lessons somehow though because you were pretty dang good at tennis.  You've got a great arm and you got to be pretty accurate with your swings.  You don't really care much about sports.  You'll do it if we tell you to pick one but you don't love it and you're starting to realize that it's not a natural thing for you.  You're just not really sure what to do and the next step isn't apparent to you while you're playing or practicing.  But you show up with a good attitude every time and that is something!  Your dad is coaching you in basketball again this spring and again, not your favorite.  You're trying but just don't know what to do.  We're gonna figure out something you can do for exercise that you can enjoy.  It's okay that sports are not your thing.  You did run two 5ks this summer in Utah.  I was so impressed with how you were able to push through being uncomfortable to finish those races.

Tate, you are the most wonderful first child.  Your sisters love you and when you take time to read to them or wrestle with them they are on top of the world.  You and Finn can play together all day long and rarely fight.  You're such good buddies together.  You've started reading Wings of Fire to him at night and often read long past when he's fallen asleep because you're just SO excited to read these stories to him and share your passion with your best buddy!  It's the sweetest.  Your dad and I love you to bits.  I have loved having a few solo night time jogs with you when you finish a book and you can jog for 3+ miles while recounting the entire plot.  I love when we have a little bit of alone time to let you just tell me everything you want to tell me.  So many times I have to tell you that you've got to stop the story you're telling me because you have work to do or lunch to eat or I have a tantrum to quiet or daughters to referee so when I get to just listen to you talk it makes me so happy.  We had a pretty epic mom/boys date in Egypt.  Glenn stayed with the girls on the cruise boat and you and Finn and I snuck away at 4am to go travel across Luxor to get in a hot air balloon and take off into the sky together.  You were all smiles about it until we got close to the basket.  The flames were SO loud, and were raining chunks of ash on us which terrified you as you got lifted up into the basket.  It was a VERY brave thing of you to do and once we got up in the air you and Finn and I had the most incredible view of Queen Hatshepsut's temple and the valley of the kings, and luxor and karnak temples from the sky.  I'll never forget how it felt to be with just the two of you.  These past four years with your sisters I've felt spread so thin.  We all love them so much but sometimes I feel like I get less real time with you and that hour in the sky was a huge mom-win.

Tate-o I love you.  I love your goofy faces, especially when you try to smile for pictures.  I love your enormous laugh.  I love your exuberant dance moves.  I love your drawings and skippy run and backpack so heavy with books.  I love your hugs and your tender heart.  Every primary teacher you've ever had has stories of you bursting into tears over some lesson or other because some of the stories are just so sad to you.  You can't handle the thought of someone being hurt or treated unjustly!  Recently it was when Joseph was sold into Egypt by his brothers.  You cried, saying that it was so unfair and how could the brothers do that?!  Your teacher tried to help you understand by saying, "What if Finn told you he was so much better than you and that he was supposed to be your ruler?  How would you feel?"  Your response was, "I would be completely fine with that.  I think Finn would be a great leader."  Your kind heart is noticed by everyone and your teachers and friends and friends' parents all recognize the positive and good kid that you are.  Tate, we are so proud to be your parents.  I can't think too hard about how little time I have left with my first little boy in our house.  It seems so short sometimes considering how lightning fast these past ten years have gone.  But I'm going to soak up every single second of it because I love being your mom.  

Happiest of birthdays, you wonderful kid.

The world is yours, Tate.

Love,

Mom

Dear Kenna,

Dear Kenna, 

You are FOUR!  How did that happen?!  Every year on your birthday we tell you about the day you were born and what we thought when we saw you for the first time.  You and your sister were the teensiest babies I'd ever seen and I love you both with a love that still makes me well up with tears when I think about it.  We adore you, Kenna Wenna Bing Bong.

This year has been a really busy year.  You've visited Egypt, the Netherlands, Belgium, Czech Republic, Germany, Austria, and of course Saudi Arabia and the USA.  You're a pretty good little traveler.  When you are really tired you often have screaming fits that you can't easily calm yourself out of and occasionally make yourself  sick and throw up which is not great but it happened less this year than in the past which has left us hopeful!  You, like the rest of us, have a hard time shifting time zones and plugging along all day when you're tired but for the most part you're a traveling trooper.  This year you did your first couple of presentations for our travel research projects and you enjoyed having your own little expertise.  

You love learning new things and have fun demonstrating what you learn whether it's writing new letters you know on the sidewalk (you're favorite, for obvious reasons, is K), or showing us a picture you colored so meticulously and insisting that you need to hang it on your wall or that we need to hang it on our bedroom wall, or showing us new dance moves.   You love to learn and get excited about gaining new abilities.  We've been slowly easing you and your sister into workbook and letter flashcard time every day.  Both of you push back a bit when MOM wants to teach you something so we've been babystepping into that and you've finally hit your stride.  You love cutting practice pages and are getting to be quite the meticulous little writer too.  I hope that need you have for details stays with you in your schooling.

You and your sister were potty trained a few months after your third birthday and it almost broke us all.  Taryn dug in her heels for various reasons and refused to care because it was hard.  You were so very emotional about the whole process it was a little maddening and also heartbreaking.  You would NOT go to the bathroom alone.  But once we went to the bathroom you were so afraid to push out poop or let your pee go that it was just torturous to watch.  We'd go to the bathroom like it was a terrifying emergency over and over only to get there and have you jump off cheerfully insisting that you're actually fine.  It took you a lot of successes before you could trust us that you wouldn't get hurt and that having control of this situation could actually be freeing and not imprisoning.  So glad that situation is behind us.  There are still days when we're not quite there but you're really trying and girl, it's hard to ever be mad at you when you're trying because you want so much to please us.  

You love your sister. You can get her riled up faster than anyone else but you also are aware of her in a way I don't know if even you understand.  When she's having a bad day you cheer up and try your best to tow the line and help me out. And when she's having a good day you take your turn testing boundaries or letting loose.  It's so interesting to me that you two seem to take turns with each other as if you both know that I can't handle two melting toddlers all day.  Of course, that happens once in a while but for the most part you two give each other the space to deal with your struggles.  You guys can fight like cats and dogs but just in recent months you've become so much better at playing together.  Recently you'll just disappear into an imaginary game and play together so sweetly for hours.  It's not every day but these times are such a gift to me to watch you love each other and adapt to each other's suggestions for play.  You're both very strong little girls and seeing you develop abilities to be flexible has been so great.  

I'm not sure how you survive day to day let alone grow based on how much you eat every day.  You love every kind of fruit.  You'll eat at least 1 banana every day, usually 2.  They're your favorites.  You love yogurt drinks and almond/date energy balls.  You've decided you don't like bread so sandwiches are out and you don't like pizza either and most breakfasts are a little tricky that way.  You'll eat your waffles or pancakes throughout the morning if I leave them on the table but you're just not starving enough to put them away right away and you don't love them.  You skip dinner most nights.  Once in a while you'll surprise us by gobbling down something we have for dinner but most of the time you just pass. 

You love to help in the kitchen.  Throwing things in the blender and turning it on for our morning shake is your favorite job and if I start it up before you're out of bed you come down the stairs or hallway screaming that you want to help.  How could I do that without you?!  You're always up for making treats to share or writing notes to cheer someone up.  You're a real sweetheart, Kenna.  Ever since you were a baby you've been my deep feeler.  You feel things so much deeper than your siblings and it almost looks painful sometimes.  You like things just so and when you inevitably misplace some tiny toy you've been carrying around, or can't find a specific crayon you want, or don't get the exact number of grapes you want, you are completely broken in two.  It's adorable and traumatizing at the same time because it's sometimes tricky to talk you down again.  You don't always show the deep embarrassment and guilt when you get in trouble but it's there just under the surface as you put on a stubborn face.  You want to be loved and snuggled and hugged and cheered for and when you do something disappointing you feel it deeply.  

We moved to a new house just a month ago and I think you've adjusted really well.  You're still sharing a room with your sister and we'll eventually bunk your beds.  You struggled at first to get to sleep and stay asleep in a new space but you've adjusted.  I think all the extra space so you and your sister can find different places to get away from each other once in a while has been a help.  We all really miss our cul-de-sac though and you miss our old house.  Just a week ago we were driving past our old place and you asked, "Mom, is someone new going to move into our house?"  Yeah, baby they are.  "And when they are tired of it can we please have it back?"  Oh that broke my heart.  We moved into our house on 7th Court when you were 9 months old.  It's where you learned to crawl and walk and run and dance and it was sad to leave it.  But we'll make equally lovely memories together in this new place though. 

You've got a musical soul, Kenna.  You cannot hold still when you hear music playing and if there is any character in the music you'll be running for a costume so you can sing and dance in character.  Your dramatic facial expressions and cape swishing and dizzying twirls are so endearing.  You love to sing and try really hard to listen to the words over and over again so you can get them in your head and sing them by yourself all day long.  

You're a little bookworm.  We clean up and put away every day but throughout the day you just grab books off shelves and out of boxes and by the end of the day you've carried and looked at and spread books around the whole house.  You spend your quiet time every day pouring over books and singing and playing with toys so happily all by yourself.  You seem to really enjoy that time recharging on your own and I often find you "reading" stories to yourself out loud.  You're going to be a busy little reader because you can't get enough of new stories.

You love playing with anything tiny.  We got you guys a little doll house and the teensy things inside were so wonderful to you.  You especially loved the tiny toilet and the tiny toilet brush.  You carried those around for days obsessively scrubbing the tiny toilet all day.  That's your favorite real cleaning chore too.  You and Taryn argue over who's turn it is to clean the toilet.  So funny.  You also love your little pop beads and shopkins.  Anything tiny makes your heart so happy.  You could also do crafts from craft kits every day.  I brought some home for different holidays and you're always so bummed when the kits are gone so we have to jump on pinterest and find new little projects to do.  

Kenna you are a darling little miss.  You love people.  You have thrived in Sunbeams so far this year and you are going to do great in K4 next Fall.  You are so ready for school.  Hopefully we can get you in a little dance class too because that would make your life complete.  I love the way you twirl in any skirt or dress we put on just to see how much it floats.  I love the way you write and color with tiny little cautious strokes.  I love the way you run kicking your heels up because you think it's prettier.  I love the serious look you give me when I give you the wrong answer, tipping your face down and looking up at me with those dark chocolate eyes over that tiny serious brow.  You are going to do some incredible things with your life, sweet girl.  I want to squeeze you all day long and I have loved these years with you and your sister at home and I'll miss you when you're in someone else's arms for a few hours each day next year.  I am so glad you're my girl, Kenna baby.

Happy happy birthday, sweetie.

The world is yours.

Love,

Mom