Dear Finn

Dear Finn,

You're seven years old today.  Man, that went fast!  Every year on your birthday when we put you to bed we tell you the story of how you came to be part of our family.  How much we wanted another baby.  How much we wanted a brother for Tate.  How we decided on the name Finn.  We tell you about what a happy, sweet baby you were.  Such a great sleeper and an easy smiler.  Your brother was so proud to be your big brother, telling people everywhere we went, "This is my baby brother, Finn.  Isn't he so cute?!"  I just finished this bedtime routine for the 7th time and I get a little choked up every time remembering how wonderful it was to meet you and thinking about how happy I am that you're my son.  You are the perfect little brother for Tate and the perfect big brother for Kenna and Taryn.  You are fun and loving and goofy.  You can be patient when you need to wait for a bit and you bask in our attention when it's your turn.  We just adore you, kiddo.

This year feels like a very full year.  Since your last birthday we've traveled to Egypt for spring break, Amsterdam and Belgium on the way home for repat, we went snorkeling in Jeddah, and to Czech Republic, Austria and Germany just last week.  You're a great traveler.  You walk for hours with little complaining.  You braved the cold last week and I didn't hear you mumble about being cold once.  You took to skiing like a fish to water.  You LOVED it.  The speed, the new ability, the sense of control.  You took a full day of lessons one day and just the morning the next day and you mourned the fact that it wasn't another full day of lessons and that we had to go home the next day.  "But mom, I'm going to miss so many lessons.  How am I going to get better if I don't ski for a WHOLE YEAR?!"  By the end of the second day you had moved to the big learning hill.  It was pretty steep and you could turn around cones and make corners like a pro.  You got going pretty fast but could always stop at the bottom before you hit anything.  Your mastery of your physical body continues to baffle and impress me.  Two days of skiing and you'd think it was your life's calling.  You were absolutely in love with the feeling of being on skis which made your dad beam with pride.  You were asking, "How long do you think it will take before I can ski black diamonds?  I wish I could just see what one would look like." Which sounds just like your dad.  You two are two peas in a pod.

This fall Dad and I were in a musical and you were beyond proud, telling everyone that your dad is in "Grease" and is going to be the one to sing "Greased Lightning".  It's been your bedtime song request for a while now and the way you admire your dad is pretty darling.  Since we were busy with a couple of rehearsals a week we took a step back in activities for our family this fall.  We let you sign up for just one sport and you picked baseball.  This year you're in coach pitch and your dad spend a lot of time with you at the racquetball court pitching to you and helping you master your swing.  You loved playing baseball.  Especially the games when the family would come watch you and cheer for you.  You absolutely glow with a little cheering on.  You always have.  You walk to the plate and look sideways to make sure I'm not talking and that I'm watching so I don't miss a thing.  

There have been times in the past year when you have really struggled in sports.  In every sport you play or every game you play at home, it is very difficult for you to try to balance your competitive nature with learning to be coachable and learning to deal with failure.  You want to win and be good at things right away.  To be naturally gifted at everything.  And when you find out that you are not as good as other people or when you fail or lose, you are deeply embarrassed and disappointed.  We're trying to help you and give you chances to grow and practice but man, it is so hard for you to not be the best right away at everything you try.  

You finished a great year with Ms. Karr in Kindergarten.  She absolutely adored you, especially your writing.  You are a very creative writer and you use the cutest language to describe things.  Your latest unit in your first grade class with Mrs. CT was a how-to unit and you wrote a "how-to be a ninja" book which was so so funny.  Mrs. CT is a great fit for you and you have a few good friends in your class which contributes to the only thing you need to work on in class: talking and being goofy with your friends.  You're a great reader, your math homework is a cinch for you and you dive in and finish it by yourself every day, and your handwriting is neat.  You don't have a lot of confidence in your reading ability sometimes but you're a great reader.  

You're still a great eater, preferring fruit to pretty much any sweet.  You love to bake with me but you're not a huge fan of eating what we bake.  Once the process is complete you could kind of take or leave the result.  You love almost any fruit.  The only one I can think of that you're not a fan of is kiwi.  You love soups and gobble them down at dinner time with lots of compliments on my cooking.  Which makes me feel like a million bucks because pretty much none of the other kids will eat soup willingly.  You like cheese bread and pizza.  You'll eat sandwiches but you don't love them.  You love pasta with red sauce.  You'll eat most everything but it doesn't seem like you really "need" food.  It's not something you're usually excited or passionate about.  Which is sometimes baffling to your dad and I because we love good food so much.  We just had your birthday party and when we asked you what you wanted for your birthday party meal you were kind of confused.  "Whatever you think, Mom."  But don't you have something you want to eat? "Not really.  I just don't want cake.  Can I have donuts instead?"  Well all right then.  

You and I are still in the middle of the 3rd Harry Potter book.  I think you got a little spooked by the dementors because you wanted to take a break from reading it for a bit.  But you still love the story enough to make it the theme of your birthday party.  You have 7 friends to your party and I think you felt loved and celebrated.  Your party was two days after our play closed so it was kind of rushed but still fun.  

Right now you like pretty much any show your brother likes.  Dinotrux, Ninjago, Dragons Race to the Edge.  If you can watch it and then play it with Tate, you're a fan.  You read little books you bring home from school for reading practice but you haven't really found a book you want to read on your own yet.  You'll read to your sisters if I ask you to but you'd pretty much always rather be wrestling or playing outside.  We have two boys across the street, Fawaz and Faraz, who come to the door asking for you and Tate every day after school and when you're through with practicing piano and homework you are always outside.  Riding your bike, swinging from the palm tree branches, running or rollerblading around the cul-de-sac.  We'll be moving to a new house across camp soon and we are going to miss this outside space so much because it's been so easy to just send you out to play in the cul-de-sac and then call you in for dinner.  

You're doing really well at piano.  You occasionally have a grumpy attitude about it and you have to take a minute to cool down, but once you're back you're good to go.  You play really well and are very proud of songs you learn to play well.  You play them over and over for anyone who will listen.  You performed so well in the last recital a couple of weeks ago.  Nana and Grampa were here to visit and you loved having them here to play with you.  You'd read every day to Grampa after school and play your songs for Nana.  You played a baseball game that they were able to see and you just loved having more people to cheer for you and celebrate your successes.  

Finn, you are the middle child in the hardest way.  You're followed by two little ones, one of whom is pretty tricky.  Especially this past year.  And I think it's worn on you this year.  You have struggled this year feeling left out or feeling less loved.  You have been more needy this year and we've been trying to recognize when you just need a mom or dad date.  A little late night chat with us or some batting practice with your dad, or something else to reassure you that you are special and important to us.  You are very aware of what is fair and you do not handle unfair well.  You're very bothered that your sisters get to help me make breakfast now because you have to get dressed and do your piano technique.  You love to help me cook and they get to do it because you're getting ready.  That is not fair and you do not like it.  But honestly, it's all you can do to get up and ready in time in the morning.  Mornings are not your favorite time of day.

You've developed a bit of sass in the past couple of months.  I think it's going to be a tricky year for you in that way.  I've heard that about year 7.  You're testing us and it's not great.  But when we put you back in line and help you see what you sound like and how it makes us feel you consistently break down in tears apologizing and feeling awful for being unkind.  You've developed a tender heart and being reprimanded always breaks you down a little bit.  

You have ideas in your mind of exactly how you want things to go and when it doesn't go that way, it can be frustrating for you and hard to get over.  For example, I asked when you wanted to open your birthday presents and your response was, "When it's dark outside and night time so we can turn off the lights and light the candles and the only light will be from the candles when you sing to me."  But then I reminded you that you were feeling sick today, (Yep, on your birthday.  It's the worst luck) and you didn't want your cake until tomorrow.  "Oh...okay.  I guess just a dinner time then.)  So we'll have to make your specific birthday cake lighting wish come true tomorrow!

You've become obsessed with paper folding this year.  You've learned several types of paper airplanes, little fortune tellers, origami boats, and other things and once you learn something new you fold them obsessively for everyone and they're all over the house and your bring them to school and come home with more from school.  You love developing new skills and sharing them with people.  You've come up with schemes of folding things and selling them to people.  You even sold one to our neighbor for a dollar and you were so proud of yourself.

Finny you are a treasure.  Your smile still lights up the room.  Your giggle is as infectious as ever.  You still make goofy sound effects constantly, trying to be silly and make everyone laugh.  You still love making friends and will play with anyone and everyone.  You are so loved, my boy.  Every year I look back when I tuck you in on your birthday at what life was like before you came to us.  Just like your brother before you and your sisters after you, you changed our family when you came into it.  We wouldn't be the same without you.  You add a silliness, a fun, and a sweetness to our family that is different from any of your siblings.  You help us remember to stay light and playful.  You hug us with your strong, solid little body with so much toughness that we can't help but smile.  You love us all so much and we love you right back.  It's so sad to think of how fast those 7 years have gone.  I miss my tiny little one year old bear cub Finn who loved to give running hugs that would knock you over and dunk on his tiny playschool basketball hoop.  But this 7 year old Finn is pretty amazing.  You are going to do such incredible things, my boy.  I have no idea what you'll become.  There are SO many things you can do and your capacity for learning and growth is unstoppable.  I feel blessed beyond words to be your mother.  To watch you grow.  To be the recipient of your hugs and your smiles and sweet compliments.  To listen to you read and play the piano.  To play games with you and snuggle during movies.  To teach you to tie your shoes and make lollipops.  I love you and I love being your mother, Finny boy. Happy, happy birthday, big kid. 

The world is yours, my boy.

Love,

Mom