Dear Taryn,

Dear Taryn,

You are five.  Oh my heart just broke a teensy bit typing those words.  It feels like a moment ago we were bringing you and your sister home to Rakah, just tiny little people way at the bottom of those baby car seats.  You were the easiest, quietest, sleepiest little baby.  You didn't smile for just anyone and you kept your feelings pretty under wraps.  Then you turned one and we started to see who you would really become.  It seems like every year you become a little more you.  And every year we get a little different version as you figure out how you're going to master this world you're in.  Because that it what it looks like.  Watching you grow from baby girl to 5 year old has looked like watching you decide over and over again exactly how you're going to master your world this time.  Jumping and wrestling, screaming and hitting, running and hugging with your tiny muscly body so tight it's surprising.  Every year you seem to decide how you're going to dominate that year and no matter what we try to do to steer or love you into line, you go where your spirit dictates.  You are an incredible, spirited, full of fun and mischief and energy little bundle of lady.  

This year of your life we've had some pretty incredible experiences.  We spent spring break with the Browns visiting them in Malaysia and then traveling with them to Thailand.  You loved Thailand.  The beaches and adventure of it all agreed with you very much.  You can be very timid around new things and then once we help you get going you're jumping headfirst in no time.  But that first toe touch into the new is so scary for you.  We weren't sure how long it would take for you to warm up to interacting with elephants up close and personal but you jumped right in and encouraged Kenna when she was much more nervous to give it a go.  You two are really good for each other in that way.  You're encouraging to each other and you listen to each other if one says it's safe to proceed.  You got right in there and were absolutely thrilled to be feeding elephants and petting their trunks and talking to them like you were old friends.  It will be one of my favorite memories of traveling with you, little T.  Watching tiny little you just chatting away and completely at home with those magnificent animals.  The canoeing through caves and grottos in Phuket made you very nervous but you hung on and got over your jitters quickly after we emerged from the dark.  

On our way home from repat we stopped in London.  We'd done a lot of research on the places we were going to visit and the plays we were able to see and you were so excited.  Your first West End show was the Lion King.  You loved it.  It was so late at night and you guys were tired but you stayed awake to the end and watching your face, your hilarious whole head facial expressions reacting to the magic in that theater, was far more entertaining than any West End show.  We saw Wicked the next day and it was magical as well after listening to the music for so long.  I think we're going to have a wonderful life of loving plays and musicals together.

Over Saudi National Day we went to Paris.  You did a presentation on the Palace of Versailles and were pretty excited to see it on our bike tour.  That was a wonderful day.  Really fun ride-along bikes for you and Kenna, a delicious fresh market picnic on the grounds, and the gorgeous palace to boot.  You and Kenna couldn't really be bothered to listen to the guide, so when we stopped you were off exploring the forest and fields and picking up nuts and sticks to throw in the fountains and lakes.  I love traveling with you little kids.  You never let me forget that Marie Antoinette's hamlet is no more fascinating than the huge muskrat we found in the bushes or the nuts covering the ground and how far you can throw them in the pond.  Disneyland Paris was magical with you little T.  You loved the fireworks show at night.  You loved every little ride.  Pirates and haunted mansion made you nervous because they were so dark.  But you had a great time and found it all enchanting.  Another year or two and you'll be riding the big rides with your brothers and I.  I'm excited to see how you handle that!

This fall your brothers, your Dad and I were in rehearsals a couple of times a week for "A Dickens Carol".  You had Haley or Megan Spriggs over to babysit for dinner and bed time and while last year during Grease you gave your babysitters a very difficult time, you seemed to really look forward to your evenings with babysitters this time.  You stayed in bed and played and had so much fun with them.  I had to buy packs of construction paper half way through our rehearsals because you ladies would go through so much paper coloring and crafting with your babysitters.  Paper snow flakes got to be very exciting and your favorite thing to do with your creations is immediately get tape and tape them to the walls or windows.  You were a great sport while we were in a play.  We're loving this break from a show though and are excited to have more time to just be with you guys.  

Before Christmas we went to Austria with the Weitzels.  You love the Wetizels and every time we get together you're just as excited as can be.  Vacationing with them was great.  You guys played so nicely with their kiddos and I think having friends in ski school made it even more fun.  You loved ski school but had a hard time paying attention for that long.  It was just sort of a party for you until Kenna started to snow plow and be able to stop herself better than you and she moved to the rope tow for the last afternoon and then you realized that maybe you should have been putting forth a little more effort.  I think that's going to continue to be a tricky thing as you two grow.  Comparing yourselves to each other is going to be unavoidable but unfair because you're just so different from each other.

You have loved K4 this year and your dad and I could not have designed a better teacher for you.  Ms. Nina is new this year and she has twin babies which you think is awesome.  She is bubbly and calm, clear and loving, firm and fun.  Every rule or transition has a song and while I'm certain you're still a stinker when you decide to be, you seem to really love and want to please her which makes us oh so happy.  It's been perfect to have you and Kenna in your own classes making your own friends and coming home with your own different crafts and stories.  You've thrived with a little more independence.  You still have class with Ms. Teresa three mornings a week and we wondered before school started if that would be too much for you, but you love it.  The two different environments have been good for you in different ways.  You struggle sometimes with Ms. Teresa's class full of younger kids to remember to control your temper or to listen on days when you're just stuck in stubborn, but overall I think it's been really good for you to be so busy.  You're SO busy, Taryn.  In the afternoons when I have to be helping brothers with homework or practicing or making dinner you and your sister just need SO much attention and if you don't get it in a positive way, you guys fight and get in trouble.  So having more to keep you busy has been very good for you.

You are starting to read this year and most of the time you do not love it.  In the past year we started with letter names and sounds.  Those two together were absolutely a no go.  We resorted to just memorizing sounds with flashcards and it worked better but only if we kept the practice very brief.  There are still about 4 letter sounds that just won't stick in your brain.  It's so frustrating to you and while we try to make special "reading practice" snuggle time alone just with mom, it's still not your favorite because it's a little harder for you.  You're still so little to be reading but you are a smart little lass so I know you can do it if we keep trying without pushing you too hard.  It'll be interesting to see how your reading transforms over the next year.  

You started a ballet class and playing t-ball this year which has added to our family busy-ness but you seem to love having more to do.  Your ballet class it just once a week and you're very excited about the recital coming up in the spring and the costumes and everything.  You remind us often that there should be a bouquet of flowers for you after you're done.  T-ball is really just warming you up to the idea of sports.  It's a huge team of little kids and they're all new to the process and just trying to stay on the field or run in the right direction is about all we can do.  But you do love a little cheering on and you run your tiny legs while holding onto your pink helmet after you hit the ball and then give me a happy dance from 1st base and it's about the most darling thing I've ever seen.

You love your sister Kenna.  You're best buds and you can also get on each other's nerves more than anything else.  You two are doing so much better playing together nicely.  There are times when you disappear to the craft table or to your bedroom, or making a pile of pillows and blankets for some sort of fort or animal bed, or find a cardboard box and transform it into a doll house and play make-believe for an hour.  And some days one of you is just in a mood and spends the day tormenting and teasing the other.  You're going to grow and learn so much from being a twin.  It's hard some days but having someone who's right there with you going through the same things is going to be a huge asset to your life, little T.  

You love your brothers too.  Tate and Finn will wrestle with you or tickle you any time you ask.  They think you are the cutest little girlies and they are correct.  You have a soft spot for your Daddy but you come to me when you get hurt.  Or, lately, you've been just getting your own bandaid and then going back to playing on your own.  

You have a serious sweet tooth and could eat candy all day if we let you.  Sometimes when you're in a mood you spend all day sneaking treats from cupboards or the pantry or the fridge or swiping handfuls of your siblings cereal or treats.  When you want something and are told no it is very difficult for you.  You're starting to grow and that disappointment is starting to become bearable, but again, it depends on the day.  I can't think of any vegetables that you enjoy eating but you'll eat most any fruit.  You're not a huge fan of bread and you skip dinner almost every night because we try hard to have healthy dinners with a lot of veggies and you just say no thank you.  You have stopped asking for anything else or being rude about the food I put in front of you which has been a miraculous attitude shift.  

You're growing up, little T.  And while it breaks my heart, there are things that are wonderful about it.  There have been days when your feelings and angst were almost tangible all day long.  Deep discontent with life and everything in it.  So angry it almost filled the room.  But now you're a little more in control most of the time.  You still have hard days when you push boundaries hard and fight fiercely but now I can see that it's because you're struggling.  And I think you can see it too.  And we can play a silly game or read a story or talk through things that we couldn't before.  You've become so much easier and kinder and more fun.  

Taryn, I love you.  I love your enormous facial expressions.  I love your sassy walk and your scrunchy smiles.  I love your huge hugs, your quick and messy craft projects.  Your way of living with so much passion and energy.  It looks exhausting but really fun too.  I love you, my little girl.  I'm sad that the past 5 years have gone so quickly, but I'm excited to see how you're going to dominate the world this year.  Happy Birthday, Princess.

The world is yours, baby girl.

Love,

Mom

Dear Finn,

Dear Finn,

Oh Finny boy it is unreal that you are 8 years old.  I miss your squishy, round face.  Your face that lit up the room with your smiles and your insistence on doing everything, "a self!".  I miss your rough and tumble wrestles and stunts and your basketball obsession.  I miss the little boy you.  You're SO big now.  And its so awesome to be your biggest fan through all your years and watch how the list of things I love about you doesn't really change, it just keeps growing.  You still light up the room with your smiles and giggles and goofy sound effects.  You still want to move and wrestle constantly, you're just a lot bigger now!  You are still obsessed with sports, but your favorite sport of the moment is baseball . You are an adventurous, pleasant, easy-going, confident, loving, kind, smart, FUN boy.  We all adore you and we're excited to see what new things we'll get to learn and love about you in your next year.

During the spring you played baseball again with your dad as coach.  You loved it.  You get frustrated when you can't pick something up as quickly as someone else or when you feel like something is unfair (which we find to be the case much more often if you're hungry or tired...).  You're a great baseball player. You hit hard and you run fast.  Obviously you like hitting the most, but you try really hard to stay focused in the field too so you can be a contributing player on your team.  

During spring break this year we traveled to Thailand and Malaysia with our good friends the Browns where we played with elephants, you discovered a new love of zip-lining (you were TERRIFIED before that first line but once that was behind you, you were ecstatic!), kayaked in sea caves, played in huge waves, met some jellyfish and so much more all with some great buddies.  

We stopped in London on the way home to repat and you saw your first West End shows!  I was so proud of how much you loved them.  We spent weeks prepping you with the story and the music of Les Mis and doing presentations about different aspects of the productions.  You saw Les Mis, Wicked, and the Lion King and you loved them all.  You have a surprisingly tender heart for such a rough and tumble boy and it's such a beautiful asset.  Knowing that you feel deeply and love deeply makes my heart proud.  We had a super busy repat and spent time in Denver (where you did your first little lacrosse camp and LOVED IT), Utah, Pennsylvania, and New Hampshire.  I think you would really love playing lacrosse if we could figure out how to start a group here without it taking over our lives.  You shone knowing that you playing lacrosse made your daddy proud.  

Another summer highlight was going on the ultimate dad date to a Red Sox game while we were in New Hampshire.  You got a ball tossed to you in the stands because you made a big sign.  You came home with a hoodie and a hat and a host of other little things and being the sentimental boy you are, they're all instant treasures.  Reminders of a magical night with your dad at Fenway.  That experience made your love of baseball grow even more and this fall, in addition to playing on a team again, you've attended several training sessions with a coach who travels to run training sessions and have improved so much in discipline and skill.  

We spent Saudi National Day weekend in September in Paris.  You loved Paris but Paris Disneyland won your heart.  You couldn't stop crying on our walk home on the last night in the parks.  Saying adorable things like, "This is my last ride.  I better savor it!" with your eyes brimming with tears.  Or, "I'm going to miss this place so much.  It makes my heart hurt!"  Or not wearing shirts that you wore in the parks for weeks because it made you too sad to be reminded that it was over.  Oh Finny.  You were tall enough this time to ride all of the big rides and I LOVED riding them over and over with you.  Space Mountain was probably your favorite.  It was intense in Paris and you could have ridden it all day and often remarked at how some of the slower paced rides were not as fun.  It's moments like this, when I get to do things that I love with my kids that I feel like it might be all right if you grow up a little bit because big kid Finn is super fun to be around.

We went to Austria before Christmas and you turned 8 on our last day of the trip.  You took three days of ski school and you took to skis like a fish to water.  No fear.  Total control.  You got frustrated when you made mistakes but you kept at it.  At the end of the last day of school they had a little ski race.  My momma heart was flying watching you swerve around those gates down the slope after only a few days on skis in your whole existence!  It makes me so proud watching you learn new and difficult things.  To face obstacles and push through to develop new skills.  So proud.  They got your race bibs mixed up so they were calling Tate's name over the speaker as you came down the hill and you were so frustrated.  Sure that since they had mixed up your numbers that when you won, because you were pretty sure you would, that Tate would get the credit.  Generally, confidence is not an area of weakness for you.

This year you're in second grade with Mr. Cager as your teacher.  He can be pretty strict and definitely keeps you in line.  Not that you need it.  You're a good student and, while you can be goofy and silly at times, generally do quite well in the classroom.  This year we started to notice that you might be struggling just a bit in reading.  You'd miss or substitute words or skip several lines of text.  We were lucky to get you in to some tutoring with Ms. LeNae in our group and for the last couple of months we've been meeting with her before school every day.  You've never seemed the least bit bothered by this addition to your schedule, nor do you seem the least bit insecure from the news that you may have some sort of learning challenge having to do with reading or writing.  We'll see what happens as the year progresses but thus far you're just happy being you and all that comes with it.  And that is as it should be, because all you are is pretty marvelous.  

You auditioned last spring and made it into a children's choir on camp that you sing with once a week with Tate and a few other friends.  Ms. Kelly is so great and you all come out of practice with big smiles on your faces having had so much fun making music together which is just awesome.  You even got a solo about a month back and you were SO proud of that fact.  We can't wait to hear your first concert in about a month.  

Also last spring you and Tate auditioned with us to be in "A Dickens Carol" and we all got in.  It was so fun to watch you be excited to audition and how much you talked about it afterward.  How hard you tried during rehearsals to remember everything we asked you to do and to not miss a reaction or line.  You could be pretty silly too, wrestling with your brother or playing around with your friends.  But overall, for such a crazy busy fall, you were a rock star.  So many afternoons of rushing from one activity to the next. Dinner when you got home at 7pm or dinner in the DTG house kitchen from a tupperware.  And when performance time came you absolutely lit up on stage.  You were tired at the end of 8 shows but also sad to see it end.  You had a little bit where you stole Paul Weitzel's wallet in the opener and he let you keep the wallet at the end of the show.  You treasure that thing as a reminder of the times you had in the play.  It's so sweet. 

You're still a great eater.  You'll try most anything we give you to eat.  You still prefer fruit to most anything.  You don't love vegetables or most healthy meals really, but if we ask you to eat your dinner you do.  You still don't love sweets.  You'll eat the occasional cookie or candy but you don't really need cake or brownies or much of any treat really.  Your Halloween and Christmas stocking candy go largely untouched for about a month until eventually it just gets thrown out.  

You've been such a good piano student this year.  You get out of bed and get your technique done before breakfast and then we sit down to work on songs at lunch or after school together.  You definitely get frustrated from time to time if it's taken several goes at a section to get it right.  But once you get it right it's like something clicks in your brain and all the frustration and angst never was.  Now everything's good.  You've learned and played difficult songs this year for recitals.  Never a complaint about practicing.  Never a complaint about performing in then recitals.  You don't ever seem to be nervous.  You just do your thing and it's so musical and you're trying so hard that it just melts the audience to a puddle.

You're a very friendly boy.  You have some good buddies in scouts and in your classes at school and church.  You love playing with friends but you also love being home and playing with your brother.  You're such good buddies and always have each other's backs.  It makes my heart smile to watch you two.  Tate sometimes reads to you from the top bunk at night and it's one of your favorite things.  Your sisters adore you.  You are more than pleased to help me entertain them with a story or a wrestling match or to make up some obstacle course for them if I need to get dinner ready or work on something with Tate.  You are so sweet to them and they're huge fans of you.

You are in a phase of policing to make sure things are fair and good.  If someone breaks a rule, you tell us.  If someone gets one more or less of something, you point it out.  If someone is doing anything they shouldn't be, you make sure it's remedied.  It's SO hard for you to not be the parent or the coach or the teacher.  It itches your soul when something you want to be righted just needs to be let go.  But sometimes, little guy, it just does. 

Oh Finny boy, you're a light in our family.  You have your challenges and frustrations but most of the time you're just more than happy to be.  And we're beyond thrilled that we get you on our family team.  You're a great cheerleader and you can tell when someone needs cheering on.  You can teach and softly coach your sisters if they are in the mood to learn something from you.  You give the greatest hugs when we need a little lift.  You're patient and you just follow, happy to be, when someone else in the family needs some attention.  Kiddo, we're amazed by you.  We admire your attitude and your strength.  Your determination and your joy in life.  Our family is what it is because you are who you are.  We'd be lost without you, dear Finny.  

I look around our house and see pictures of cute little baby or little boy Finny and that Finny seems SO long ago when I see how big you've grown and the boy you've become.  But you've always been you.  So much wonderful you.  And it just keeps getting better.  I'm excited to see what new part of Finn I'm going to fall in love with in the coming year.  I adore you, my boy.

The world is yours, Finn.

Love,

Mom

Dear Tate,

Dear Tate,

Ten.  Oh man, your age has gone from single digits to double and I don't know if my heart can take it.  You've grown up so much this year in so many ways.  You're still the sweetest most compliant little boy but you're also starting to figure out what you really like and what you don't so much and you'll let us know.  But you'll still go along with something you're not into if we ask you to.  You've grown in height this year. You don't look like a kid any more.  You look like a young man and it wigs me out.  You've started letting go of my hand when we're in public which makes me so sad but you're ten now so I suppose it's time.  Your shoes are so big and your hands are reaching octaves without any trouble.  It's so weird.  I absolutely love watching you grow.  You're always the same brilliant little guy who would quote entire books before you were 1 and a half and burst into tears when you hear a sad story.  But as you get older there are new things to love like how you help your sisters put on their shoes without being asked and manage homework with considerably less stress, and have more grown up conversations about things with us and you always bring something new to the table.  I love you, ten year old Tate.  You're a pretty awesome ten year old.  

This year we've traveled to Egypt, the Netherlands, Belgium, Austria, Czech Republic and Germany and of course Saudi and the USA.  You loved Egypt.  The history and mythology especially fascinated you.  You came home and found out there was a series by the same author as Percy Jackson that was based on Egyptian mythology and you read the whole series in a couple of weeks.  You had a blast in Netherlands and loved learning about the WWII history and were really struck by the stories of Anne Frank and Corrie Ten Boom.  We weren't sure how you would handle skiing.  Coordination isn't your strongest suit and we were a little nervous that you'd let your nerves get the best of you when strapped to some skis at the top of a hill.  But you completely surprised us.  You had ski school one morning and then went back for the afternoon and by the end of that first day you'd moved over to the big teaching hill and were making turns and stopping at the bottom like it was no big thing.  You didn't seem nervous one bit.  Moments like that, Tate, where 7 year old you would have totally come apart being faced with a big icy hill but 10 year old you just take in the instruction and figure it out without letting your worries rule you, make me feel like I'm going to burst with pride.  It was a big win that you enjoyed skiing.  Would you rather be inside with a book?  Probably.  But you did it two days in a row and didn't complain or have a negative thing to say about it and that was pretty great.  Last year you had some rough moments, culminating in a really awful episode in the Egyptian Museum and we decided we needed to see a counselor in Denver while we were there last summer.  You had eye surgery to correct the cross which went really well.  You were SO excited to be glasses-free and pretty convinced that no one would recognize you without your glasses.  We were in Denver for a whole month and saw a great counselor every week.  She gave you a lot of tools and we loved having some more ideas of how to put you at ease when you are overwhelmed with emotions and it's been just so much better so far this school year.  You still have days, particularly when you go from school to club, to scouts, and then home and you still have to do homework that you just melt down because you're so worn out.  Generally you can recover quickly if you just take a little break.  Tate, you're just growing up so much.  

You read constantly.  You bring a book to read on the bus, you're reading as you walk in the door, at the table if I don't make you put it away so you will eat, on the couch, at the piano bench and for hours in bed at night.  Mythology and fantasy are definitely your favorite genres.  You can be coaxed to read other things but you'd always rather be reading those two genres.  Your favorite series this year has probably been wings of fire.  You're a huge fan of dragons and your mind and drawings are filled with dragons and ideas for your own graphic novel which would be a mashup of your favorite fantasy books.  

Your handwriting is getting a little rough this year.  Last year for a couple of months we had you work with an occupational therapist to help build your confidence that you CAN write neatly if you just take your time but now you just don't want to take your time and you get frustrated with us when we ask you to write it again.  We're trying not to get on you too much about it because it's not the worst thing in the world but we just know you can be neater if you slowed down a bit.  

You're very smart at math and finish your homework pretty quickly nowadays which is a huge blessing.  Once in a while you still get caught up feeling overwhelmed by what feels to you to be an insurmountable mountain of work but most of the time you're able to take things one step at a time after school and get things done.  

You're a great pianist.  We're still working on detailed work when learning songs on your own.  You can chart a piece that you've already learned really well independently but learning a new one without me sitting next to you is a little harder because you have to really pay attention to the notes and rhythms and how the right and left hands fit together and you'd rather me walk you through it.  You CAN do it, but you don't like to take the extra few seconds to figure it all out and you want to just play until it sounds right.  We're working on that.  

You've always loved music and this year your confidence singing and dancing is pretty adorable.  You dance with absolute abandon and it's so fun to watch.  Your moves are your very own and you love them and are quite certain you look the coolest of the cool.  I need to get you in a hip hop dance class next year because I think you'd really like to have a little repertoire of moves in your pocket.  You've gathered a little collection of pop songs that light you up and you want to look them up on youtube every time we're driving somewhere.   You just discovered "High School Musical" so that's your recent favorite.  But "Drag Me Down" by One Direction and "I Gotta Feeling" by the Black Eyed Peas are two of your favorite dance jams as well.  I used to wonder if you would ever want to be on stage but after watching a couple of middle school musicals with kids you look up to and seeing your Dad and I on stage this fall you're pretty excited for your chance to try out too.  I love that about you.  You are rarely embarrassed which as an easily embarrassed person, I admire so much.

You're still a pretty picky eater.  You'd prefer to stick to chicken nuggets, mac and cheese, sandwiches, pizza, and breakfast food for always.  But when I put vegetables on your plate and tell you that you need to eat a certain number of bites you'll do it without any complaining.  You might take quite a while, but you'll choke them down and that's a fantastic new change.  You don't have to like everything, kiddo.  We're just trying really hard to help you try new foods and get in the habit of eating fruits and veggies.  You know where our motivation comes from and that's why you don't fight it.  

You've got a couple of good friends.  Reece Weitzel is probably your closest.  You two are so much fun together.   You build cardboard forts or create imaginary worlds based on ALL of the books you two read.  You like hanging out with other kids but you don't often ask for play dates because you're pretty content hanging out with us and reading a book.  You had a movie night birthday party and you invited four boys from the ward (Reece Weitzel, Max Arnold, Jude Swensen, and Ben Weight) and one from school (Abubaqer), and you know what kiddo, they were the most polite, fun, friendly boys and your dad and I just stood in the kitchen watching you guys talk through the movie on the couches and said to each other, "If this is our son's peer group and this is the quality of kids he could be friends with through teenager years, maybe we should think about staying here longer."  You're in a really good place with school and friends and yourself.  I know that some rocky years are likely on the way, and I'm just dreading the time when you care what other people think about you or have friends say unkind things that leave you doubting yourself or wounded.  I hope this being completely happy about who you are stays with you because Tate, you're pretty magnificent.  

Last spring you played basketball and did gymnastics and learned tennis with Wendy Weitzel.  She was an amazing teacher but she's been a little too busy to teach this year.  I think we might want to get you into lessons somehow though because you were pretty dang good at tennis.  You've got a great arm and you got to be pretty accurate with your swings.  You don't really care much about sports.  You'll do it if we tell you to pick one but you don't love it and you're starting to realize that it's not a natural thing for you.  You're just not really sure what to do and the next step isn't apparent to you while you're playing or practicing.  But you show up with a good attitude every time and that is something!  Your dad is coaching you in basketball again this spring and again, not your favorite.  You're trying but just don't know what to do.  We're gonna figure out something you can do for exercise that you can enjoy.  It's okay that sports are not your thing.  You did run two 5ks this summer in Utah.  I was so impressed with how you were able to push through being uncomfortable to finish those races.

Tate, you are the most wonderful first child.  Your sisters love you and when you take time to read to them or wrestle with them they are on top of the world.  You and Finn can play together all day long and rarely fight.  You're such good buddies together.  You've started reading Wings of Fire to him at night and often read long past when he's fallen asleep because you're just SO excited to read these stories to him and share your passion with your best buddy!  It's the sweetest.  Your dad and I love you to bits.  I have loved having a few solo night time jogs with you when you finish a book and you can jog for 3+ miles while recounting the entire plot.  I love when we have a little bit of alone time to let you just tell me everything you want to tell me.  So many times I have to tell you that you've got to stop the story you're telling me because you have work to do or lunch to eat or I have a tantrum to quiet or daughters to referee so when I get to just listen to you talk it makes me so happy.  We had a pretty epic mom/boys date in Egypt.  Glenn stayed with the girls on the cruise boat and you and Finn and I snuck away at 4am to go travel across Luxor to get in a hot air balloon and take off into the sky together.  You were all smiles about it until we got close to the basket.  The flames were SO loud, and were raining chunks of ash on us which terrified you as you got lifted up into the basket.  It was a VERY brave thing of you to do and once we got up in the air you and Finn and I had the most incredible view of Queen Hatshepsut's temple and the valley of the kings, and luxor and karnak temples from the sky.  I'll never forget how it felt to be with just the two of you.  These past four years with your sisters I've felt spread so thin.  We all love them so much but sometimes I feel like I get less real time with you and that hour in the sky was a huge mom-win.

Tate-o I love you.  I love your goofy faces, especially when you try to smile for pictures.  I love your enormous laugh.  I love your exuberant dance moves.  I love your drawings and skippy run and backpack so heavy with books.  I love your hugs and your tender heart.  Every primary teacher you've ever had has stories of you bursting into tears over some lesson or other because some of the stories are just so sad to you.  You can't handle the thought of someone being hurt or treated unjustly!  Recently it was when Joseph was sold into Egypt by his brothers.  You cried, saying that it was so unfair and how could the brothers do that?!  Your teacher tried to help you understand by saying, "What if Finn told you he was so much better than you and that he was supposed to be your ruler?  How would you feel?"  Your response was, "I would be completely fine with that.  I think Finn would be a great leader."  Your kind heart is noticed by everyone and your teachers and friends and friends' parents all recognize the positive and good kid that you are.  Tate, we are so proud to be your parents.  I can't think too hard about how little time I have left with my first little boy in our house.  It seems so short sometimes considering how lightning fast these past ten years have gone.  But I'm going to soak up every single second of it because I love being your mom.  

Happiest of birthdays, you wonderful kid.

The world is yours, Tate.

Love,

Mom

Dear Kenna,

Dear Kenna, 

You are FOUR!  How did that happen?!  Every year on your birthday we tell you about the day you were born and what we thought when we saw you for the first time.  You and your sister were the teensiest babies I'd ever seen and I love you both with a love that still makes me well up with tears when I think about it.  We adore you, Kenna Wenna Bing Bong.

This year has been a really busy year.  You've visited Egypt, the Netherlands, Belgium, Czech Republic, Germany, Austria, and of course Saudi Arabia and the USA.  You're a pretty good little traveler.  When you are really tired you often have screaming fits that you can't easily calm yourself out of and occasionally make yourself  sick and throw up which is not great but it happened less this year than in the past which has left us hopeful!  You, like the rest of us, have a hard time shifting time zones and plugging along all day when you're tired but for the most part you're a traveling trooper.  This year you did your first couple of presentations for our travel research projects and you enjoyed having your own little expertise.  

You love learning new things and have fun demonstrating what you learn whether it's writing new letters you know on the sidewalk (you're favorite, for obvious reasons, is K), or showing us a picture you colored so meticulously and insisting that you need to hang it on your wall or that we need to hang it on our bedroom wall, or showing us new dance moves.   You love to learn and get excited about gaining new abilities.  We've been slowly easing you and your sister into workbook and letter flashcard time every day.  Both of you push back a bit when MOM wants to teach you something so we've been babystepping into that and you've finally hit your stride.  You love cutting practice pages and are getting to be quite the meticulous little writer too.  I hope that need you have for details stays with you in your schooling.

You and your sister were potty trained a few months after your third birthday and it almost broke us all.  Taryn dug in her heels for various reasons and refused to care because it was hard.  You were so very emotional about the whole process it was a little maddening and also heartbreaking.  You would NOT go to the bathroom alone.  But once we went to the bathroom you were so afraid to push out poop or let your pee go that it was just torturous to watch.  We'd go to the bathroom like it was a terrifying emergency over and over only to get there and have you jump off cheerfully insisting that you're actually fine.  It took you a lot of successes before you could trust us that you wouldn't get hurt and that having control of this situation could actually be freeing and not imprisoning.  So glad that situation is behind us.  There are still days when we're not quite there but you're really trying and girl, it's hard to ever be mad at you when you're trying because you want so much to please us.  

You love your sister. You can get her riled up faster than anyone else but you also are aware of her in a way I don't know if even you understand.  When she's having a bad day you cheer up and try your best to tow the line and help me out. And when she's having a good day you take your turn testing boundaries or letting loose.  It's so interesting to me that you two seem to take turns with each other as if you both know that I can't handle two melting toddlers all day.  Of course, that happens once in a while but for the most part you two give each other the space to deal with your struggles.  You guys can fight like cats and dogs but just in recent months you've become so much better at playing together.  Recently you'll just disappear into an imaginary game and play together so sweetly for hours.  It's not every day but these times are such a gift to me to watch you love each other and adapt to each other's suggestions for play.  You're both very strong little girls and seeing you develop abilities to be flexible has been so great.  

I'm not sure how you survive day to day let alone grow based on how much you eat every day.  You love every kind of fruit.  You'll eat at least 1 banana every day, usually 2.  They're your favorites.  You love yogurt drinks and almond/date energy balls.  You've decided you don't like bread so sandwiches are out and you don't like pizza either and most breakfasts are a little tricky that way.  You'll eat your waffles or pancakes throughout the morning if I leave them on the table but you're just not starving enough to put them away right away and you don't love them.  You skip dinner most nights.  Once in a while you'll surprise us by gobbling down something we have for dinner but most of the time you just pass. 

You love to help in the kitchen.  Throwing things in the blender and turning it on for our morning shake is your favorite job and if I start it up before you're out of bed you come down the stairs or hallway screaming that you want to help.  How could I do that without you?!  You're always up for making treats to share or writing notes to cheer someone up.  You're a real sweetheart, Kenna.  Ever since you were a baby you've been my deep feeler.  You feel things so much deeper than your siblings and it almost looks painful sometimes.  You like things just so and when you inevitably misplace some tiny toy you've been carrying around, or can't find a specific crayon you want, or don't get the exact number of grapes you want, you are completely broken in two.  It's adorable and traumatizing at the same time because it's sometimes tricky to talk you down again.  You don't always show the deep embarrassment and guilt when you get in trouble but it's there just under the surface as you put on a stubborn face.  You want to be loved and snuggled and hugged and cheered for and when you do something disappointing you feel it deeply.  

We moved to a new house just a month ago and I think you've adjusted really well.  You're still sharing a room with your sister and we'll eventually bunk your beds.  You struggled at first to get to sleep and stay asleep in a new space but you've adjusted.  I think all the extra space so you and your sister can find different places to get away from each other once in a while has been a help.  We all really miss our cul-de-sac though and you miss our old house.  Just a week ago we were driving past our old place and you asked, "Mom, is someone new going to move into our house?"  Yeah, baby they are.  "And when they are tired of it can we please have it back?"  Oh that broke my heart.  We moved into our house on 7th Court when you were 9 months old.  It's where you learned to crawl and walk and run and dance and it was sad to leave it.  But we'll make equally lovely memories together in this new place though. 

You've got a musical soul, Kenna.  You cannot hold still when you hear music playing and if there is any character in the music you'll be running for a costume so you can sing and dance in character.  Your dramatic facial expressions and cape swishing and dizzying twirls are so endearing.  You love to sing and try really hard to listen to the words over and over again so you can get them in your head and sing them by yourself all day long.  

You're a little bookworm.  We clean up and put away every day but throughout the day you just grab books off shelves and out of boxes and by the end of the day you've carried and looked at and spread books around the whole house.  You spend your quiet time every day pouring over books and singing and playing with toys so happily all by yourself.  You seem to really enjoy that time recharging on your own and I often find you "reading" stories to yourself out loud.  You're going to be a busy little reader because you can't get enough of new stories.

You love playing with anything tiny.  We got you guys a little doll house and the teensy things inside were so wonderful to you.  You especially loved the tiny toilet and the tiny toilet brush.  You carried those around for days obsessively scrubbing the tiny toilet all day.  That's your favorite real cleaning chore too.  You and Taryn argue over who's turn it is to clean the toilet.  So funny.  You also love your little pop beads and shopkins.  Anything tiny makes your heart so happy.  You could also do crafts from craft kits every day.  I brought some home for different holidays and you're always so bummed when the kits are gone so we have to jump on pinterest and find new little projects to do.  

Kenna you are a darling little miss.  You love people.  You have thrived in Sunbeams so far this year and you are going to do great in K4 next Fall.  You are so ready for school.  Hopefully we can get you in a little dance class too because that would make your life complete.  I love the way you twirl in any skirt or dress we put on just to see how much it floats.  I love the way you write and color with tiny little cautious strokes.  I love the way you run kicking your heels up because you think it's prettier.  I love the serious look you give me when I give you the wrong answer, tipping your face down and looking up at me with those dark chocolate eyes over that tiny serious brow.  You are going to do some incredible things with your life, sweet girl.  I want to squeeze you all day long and I have loved these years with you and your sister at home and I'll miss you when you're in someone else's arms for a few hours each day next year.  I am so glad you're my girl, Kenna baby.

Happy happy birthday, sweetie.

The world is yours.

Love,

Mom

Dear Taryn,

Dear Taryn,

Oh little miss you are a ball of energy.  I cannot believe you are four years old.  It went so fast and yet I feel every second of those four years because we have really lived them.  They have been so short and so long.  I love you so much.  Your highs are so high.  Tight squeezes with your whole body while you squeal in my ear kind of high and your lows are just as physical, stomping, slamming, hitting and shaking with fury.  You feel everything so deeply and most of the time you just let it right out.  If you're frustrated you let us know.  If you're really happy and you're feeling the love, everyone gets a dose of it with a handmade picture and a candy taped on or a big squeeze and an "I love you SO much!"  Frequently when you're feeling the love I get some of my most flattering compliments from you because they come from such a genuine place.  "Mom, these pancakes are amazing.  You are the best cooker in the whole world!" "Mom, I love your tights.  Those are really beautiful!"  

This year you've visited Egypt, Netherlands, Belgium, Czech Republic, Germany, Austria, and of course Saudi Arabia and the USA.  You've become a pretty good little traveler.  You LOVE being on airplanes because movies and screen time is a serious love of yours.  Some spectacular tantrums have been rooted in a show being turned off and having hours of screen time on airplanes makes you so happy.  We went to Egypt for last spring break and we were worried it would be really hard with two littles with all the walking but you guys did pretty great.  You both preferred to be carried by your dad and not me all the time but for the most part you enjoyed yourself and still talk about seeing the pyramids and the tombs.  It was an epic trip and I think some of those once-in-a-lifetime experiences started to stick this year in your memory because they were so soul shaking that they made a big impact.  You talk about how we climbed up the inside of the pyramid carrying you on my chest all bent over.  You talk about how you looked for rocks in every new temple we visited.  You talk about seeing King Tutankamun.  It's so strange to hear your little voice relate these stories that are now part of your childhood.  So strange.  

You did your first presentation for our travel research before trips when we went to the Netherlands and you LOVED learning something new and having your own topic of authority.  You were beyond proud every time we passed a shop window with one of the food items you learned about and were so happy to order food using your few Dutch words.  This is one of your things this year more than any other: you love to be in control. In the know.  In charge.  Doing things yourself or even occasionally for someone else (if it's something you want to do) has been a huge source of pride and a driving motivator for you this year.  Now there are definitely times when I cannot motivate you to do something if it's not something you want to do right then.  But some of your most exciting moments are when you're in charge and doing something that makes you feel big.  It's probably partially a product of being the littlest one in our family, but it's also a big part of who you are.  You need to find your own way.  Make your own path.  And any time we try to drag you down a path that isn't yours you are very not cool with it and you stop us in our tracks.

Speaking of dragging, potty training.  Oh girl, that was rough.  Horrible.  We waited until you were three and three months and it was still so awful.  Months of battles of will, backpedaling, charts and treats and stickers and none of it made a lick of difference.  You had to come to it on your own.  I don't even know what made it stick and even now there are days when you just care less but eventually what we realized was that if you didn't want it for yourself, there was nothing we could really do that would motivate you.  There were days when you were really trying and it was just hard for you to figure out.  But then there were other days when you purposefully used accidents against us and that made it hard.  

It's been a busy year and while you've rolled with most of the punches while traveling you've also been trying hard to figure out some things within yourself and it's been visibly tumultuous for you at times.  You've asserted your independence by finding new and sometimes surprising ways to be naughty.  It almost feels like a game or challenge to you sometimes.  You have to test any rule we set not just once but repeatedly.  There are days when you are the most compliant, helpful, loving little peanut and there are days when you push back in a loud and sometimes frightening way to every single word that I say.  Those days are hard, T.  You are a force, little miss.  And when you decide to be a force for positivity our house is happier and lighter because you're ribbon dancing and hugging and tackling and singing at the top of your tiny lungs.  But when you're struggling you are a whirlwind and we all end the day out of breath from trying to weather the storm.  I wish I knew how to help you feel more steady and lighter on days when you're angry.  We're working at it.  Trying to focus on all the good you do and hoping that some of your angst is a phase.

Traveling threw off your clock this summer and you had a good 6 months from August to January where you were up at night every night.  Sometimes once, sometimes 10 times.  Sometimes for 2 minutes sometimes just wide awake for multiple hours.  Calling for Dad and I and asking to go potty, for a drink, say a prayer I'm scared, where's my stuffy.  Basically you were awake and bored.  But we tried everything and you just took time and changing from naps to "quiet time" during which you still fall asleep but we have to wake you up after an hour to have any chance of a less rough night.  It's been so tough, T.  Oh man, and the babysitters.  Your dad and I were in a musical this fall and we had great babysitters putting you to bed twice a week.  Or at least trying to.  You were a little tyrant.  They'd try everything and you would not stay in your bed.  The power you wielded over these poor teenage girls was absurd.  Once we had our neighbor Chelsie Larson come over to put you to bed and you pulled the same thing with her.  At one point she said you better get in bed or you're busted.  Your response was, "What does busted mean?"  It means you're in big trouble.  You hesitated for a second and then said, "Hmmm, that doesn't sound so bad." and then continued to refuse to get in bed!  Seriously, an unstoppable force that leaves us shaking our heads in disbelief and breathless at the gall!

You've started to be more open to social situations.  In past years you've been happier and more content in your own little world.  You would play with Kenna for a limited time but it usually ended in fighting.  And when we had other people over to play you'd usually end up on your own, a little nervous about how to jump in but very unwilling to show it.  In the last 6 months or so you've started to engage more and rally others to an imaginary game too.  It's been really fun to watch you gain confidence in that way and realize that you're going to be very ready to start k4 next year.  I think it will be hard for you to not have your sister all the time as a crutch but at the same time it will be good to see you flourish in your own right.  You two have become better friends recently and have more and more days when you just disappear in your imaginary games for hours at a time.  It's like you've just realized that you can have so much fun together when you choose to and you're choosing to more and more.  It makes my heart so happy and sometimes we have places to go or things to do and I just see you playing together and throw the plans out and join in your tea party because it's more fun than making you stop.  You love your brothers too.  Especially when they'll read to you or let you ride on their back or wrestle softly.  You guys are such a great little team.  You know how to push each other's buttons but you also really love each other.

You like to play with magnatiles, making houses for your imaginary mice who sit on your shoulder and talk to you.  You love reading books and you'd be content to snuggle on the couch and bring me books to read for hours if we didn't have anything else to do.  You love parks and being outside.  You ride your little bike with training wheels with speed and abandon that make my heart squeeze sometimes.  Anything physical makes you light up inside.  I hope we can find room for you in a dance class next year because if you hold still long enough to listen to your teacher I think you'll really enjoy it!  

You love drawing and any sort of craft.  You're more quick cutting and quick scribbling and done while your sister is more tiny little lines and she can take ten minutes on a picture but you're both equally proud of your work and drawn to creating it.  You've loved making drawings or crafts for your dad and putting them in a bag or a box with a piece of candy to give him when he comes home.  Once in a while these little thoughtful things that you come up with to make other people happy are just the sweetest.  

You've become a picky eater this year.  You skip dinner most of the time because you just don't want to eat most vegetables or meat.  You've never met a fruit you don't like and you've started to eat most bread which is new for you.  Dinner is touch and go but most nights you're getting better at saying "thank you" and not eating it instead of passing out insults which used to be the trend.  You love to help cook and want to be on the counter any time I'm making anything.  You LOVE sweets and would eat them all day if I let you.  

Taryn I love you with a love that rivals all the passion in your tiny body.  I love you every moment of every day and I am trying so hard to be the momma you need to help you love who you are, love doing right, and find what makes your heart sing.  I am astounded by you.  You're an absolute marvel and I sometimes feel like you're a high flying kite and I'm just the string flapping in the wind trying to hang on for the ride and figure out where you're going and maybe, to your great dismay, tug you a little big to the left or the right.  Point is, little miss, you're already flying.  You've got more passion in your little finger than I've ever seen.  We just gotta fine tune it a little bit together and you are going to do amazing things with your life, sweet girl.  I love your facial expressions that are so huge they make me bust up.  I love your sassy hip swinging walk.  I love your knock you over hugs and when you're nervous at night and you ask for a snuggle and a prayer.  I love you, Taryn.  I'm so glad I get to be your mom and hang on for the ride that is your life.  

Happy birthday, little lady.

The world is yours.

Love,

Mom

Dear Finn

Dear Finn,

You're seven years old today.  Man, that went fast!  Every year on your birthday when we put you to bed we tell you the story of how you came to be part of our family.  How much we wanted another baby.  How much we wanted a brother for Tate.  How we decided on the name Finn.  We tell you about what a happy, sweet baby you were.  Such a great sleeper and an easy smiler.  Your brother was so proud to be your big brother, telling people everywhere we went, "This is my baby brother, Finn.  Isn't he so cute?!"  I just finished this bedtime routine for the 7th time and I get a little choked up every time remembering how wonderful it was to meet you and thinking about how happy I am that you're my son.  You are the perfect little brother for Tate and the perfect big brother for Kenna and Taryn.  You are fun and loving and goofy.  You can be patient when you need to wait for a bit and you bask in our attention when it's your turn.  We just adore you, kiddo.

This year feels like a very full year.  Since your last birthday we've traveled to Egypt for spring break, Amsterdam and Belgium on the way home for repat, we went snorkeling in Jeddah, and to Czech Republic, Austria and Germany just last week.  You're a great traveler.  You walk for hours with little complaining.  You braved the cold last week and I didn't hear you mumble about being cold once.  You took to skiing like a fish to water.  You LOVED it.  The speed, the new ability, the sense of control.  You took a full day of lessons one day and just the morning the next day and you mourned the fact that it wasn't another full day of lessons and that we had to go home the next day.  "But mom, I'm going to miss so many lessons.  How am I going to get better if I don't ski for a WHOLE YEAR?!"  By the end of the second day you had moved to the big learning hill.  It was pretty steep and you could turn around cones and make corners like a pro.  You got going pretty fast but could always stop at the bottom before you hit anything.  Your mastery of your physical body continues to baffle and impress me.  Two days of skiing and you'd think it was your life's calling.  You were absolutely in love with the feeling of being on skis which made your dad beam with pride.  You were asking, "How long do you think it will take before I can ski black diamonds?  I wish I could just see what one would look like." Which sounds just like your dad.  You two are two peas in a pod.

This fall Dad and I were in a musical and you were beyond proud, telling everyone that your dad is in "Grease" and is going to be the one to sing "Greased Lightning".  It's been your bedtime song request for a while now and the way you admire your dad is pretty darling.  Since we were busy with a couple of rehearsals a week we took a step back in activities for our family this fall.  We let you sign up for just one sport and you picked baseball.  This year you're in coach pitch and your dad spend a lot of time with you at the racquetball court pitching to you and helping you master your swing.  You loved playing baseball.  Especially the games when the family would come watch you and cheer for you.  You absolutely glow with a little cheering on.  You always have.  You walk to the plate and look sideways to make sure I'm not talking and that I'm watching so I don't miss a thing.  

There have been times in the past year when you have really struggled in sports.  In every sport you play or every game you play at home, it is very difficult for you to try to balance your competitive nature with learning to be coachable and learning to deal with failure.  You want to win and be good at things right away.  To be naturally gifted at everything.  And when you find out that you are not as good as other people or when you fail or lose, you are deeply embarrassed and disappointed.  We're trying to help you and give you chances to grow and practice but man, it is so hard for you to not be the best right away at everything you try.  

You finished a great year with Ms. Karr in Kindergarten.  She absolutely adored you, especially your writing.  You are a very creative writer and you use the cutest language to describe things.  Your latest unit in your first grade class with Mrs. CT was a how-to unit and you wrote a "how-to be a ninja" book which was so so funny.  Mrs. CT is a great fit for you and you have a few good friends in your class which contributes to the only thing you need to work on in class: talking and being goofy with your friends.  You're a great reader, your math homework is a cinch for you and you dive in and finish it by yourself every day, and your handwriting is neat.  You don't have a lot of confidence in your reading ability sometimes but you're a great reader.  

You're still a great eater, preferring fruit to pretty much any sweet.  You love to bake with me but you're not a huge fan of eating what we bake.  Once the process is complete you could kind of take or leave the result.  You love almost any fruit.  The only one I can think of that you're not a fan of is kiwi.  You love soups and gobble them down at dinner time with lots of compliments on my cooking.  Which makes me feel like a million bucks because pretty much none of the other kids will eat soup willingly.  You like cheese bread and pizza.  You'll eat sandwiches but you don't love them.  You love pasta with red sauce.  You'll eat most everything but it doesn't seem like you really "need" food.  It's not something you're usually excited or passionate about.  Which is sometimes baffling to your dad and I because we love good food so much.  We just had your birthday party and when we asked you what you wanted for your birthday party meal you were kind of confused.  "Whatever you think, Mom."  But don't you have something you want to eat? "Not really.  I just don't want cake.  Can I have donuts instead?"  Well all right then.  

You and I are still in the middle of the 3rd Harry Potter book.  I think you got a little spooked by the dementors because you wanted to take a break from reading it for a bit.  But you still love the story enough to make it the theme of your birthday party.  You have 7 friends to your party and I think you felt loved and celebrated.  Your party was two days after our play closed so it was kind of rushed but still fun.  

Right now you like pretty much any show your brother likes.  Dinotrux, Ninjago, Dragons Race to the Edge.  If you can watch it and then play it with Tate, you're a fan.  You read little books you bring home from school for reading practice but you haven't really found a book you want to read on your own yet.  You'll read to your sisters if I ask you to but you'd pretty much always rather be wrestling or playing outside.  We have two boys across the street, Fawaz and Faraz, who come to the door asking for you and Tate every day after school and when you're through with practicing piano and homework you are always outside.  Riding your bike, swinging from the palm tree branches, running or rollerblading around the cul-de-sac.  We'll be moving to a new house across camp soon and we are going to miss this outside space so much because it's been so easy to just send you out to play in the cul-de-sac and then call you in for dinner.  

You're doing really well at piano.  You occasionally have a grumpy attitude about it and you have to take a minute to cool down, but once you're back you're good to go.  You play really well and are very proud of songs you learn to play well.  You play them over and over for anyone who will listen.  You performed so well in the last recital a couple of weeks ago.  Nana and Grampa were here to visit and you loved having them here to play with you.  You'd read every day to Grampa after school and play your songs for Nana.  You played a baseball game that they were able to see and you just loved having more people to cheer for you and celebrate your successes.  

Finn, you are the middle child in the hardest way.  You're followed by two little ones, one of whom is pretty tricky.  Especially this past year.  And I think it's worn on you this year.  You have struggled this year feeling left out or feeling less loved.  You have been more needy this year and we've been trying to recognize when you just need a mom or dad date.  A little late night chat with us or some batting practice with your dad, or something else to reassure you that you are special and important to us.  You are very aware of what is fair and you do not handle unfair well.  You're very bothered that your sisters get to help me make breakfast now because you have to get dressed and do your piano technique.  You love to help me cook and they get to do it because you're getting ready.  That is not fair and you do not like it.  But honestly, it's all you can do to get up and ready in time in the morning.  Mornings are not your favorite time of day.

You've developed a bit of sass in the past couple of months.  I think it's going to be a tricky year for you in that way.  I've heard that about year 7.  You're testing us and it's not great.  But when we put you back in line and help you see what you sound like and how it makes us feel you consistently break down in tears apologizing and feeling awful for being unkind.  You've developed a tender heart and being reprimanded always breaks you down a little bit.  

You have ideas in your mind of exactly how you want things to go and when it doesn't go that way, it can be frustrating for you and hard to get over.  For example, I asked when you wanted to open your birthday presents and your response was, "When it's dark outside and night time so we can turn off the lights and light the candles and the only light will be from the candles when you sing to me."  But then I reminded you that you were feeling sick today, (Yep, on your birthday.  It's the worst luck) and you didn't want your cake until tomorrow.  "Oh...okay.  I guess just a dinner time then.)  So we'll have to make your specific birthday cake lighting wish come true tomorrow!

You've become obsessed with paper folding this year.  You've learned several types of paper airplanes, little fortune tellers, origami boats, and other things and once you learn something new you fold them obsessively for everyone and they're all over the house and your bring them to school and come home with more from school.  You love developing new skills and sharing them with people.  You've come up with schemes of folding things and selling them to people.  You even sold one to our neighbor for a dollar and you were so proud of yourself.

Finny you are a treasure.  Your smile still lights up the room.  Your giggle is as infectious as ever.  You still make goofy sound effects constantly, trying to be silly and make everyone laugh.  You still love making friends and will play with anyone and everyone.  You are so loved, my boy.  Every year I look back when I tuck you in on your birthday at what life was like before you came to us.  Just like your brother before you and your sisters after you, you changed our family when you came into it.  We wouldn't be the same without you.  You add a silliness, a fun, and a sweetness to our family that is different from any of your siblings.  You help us remember to stay light and playful.  You hug us with your strong, solid little body with so much toughness that we can't help but smile.  You love us all so much and we love you right back.  It's so sad to think of how fast those 7 years have gone.  I miss my tiny little one year old bear cub Finn who loved to give running hugs that would knock you over and dunk on his tiny playschool basketball hoop.  But this 7 year old Finn is pretty amazing.  You are going to do such incredible things, my boy.  I have no idea what you'll become.  There are SO many things you can do and your capacity for learning and growth is unstoppable.  I feel blessed beyond words to be your mother.  To watch you grow.  To be the recipient of your hugs and your smiles and sweet compliments.  To listen to you read and play the piano.  To play games with you and snuggle during movies.  To teach you to tie your shoes and make lollipops.  I love you and I love being your mother, Finny boy. Happy, happy birthday, big kid. 

The world is yours, my boy.

Love,

Mom

Dear Tate,

Dear Tate,

Man, I can't believe you're 9.  This birthday hit us a little hard as we realized that you're halfway to 18.  Halfway through living with us and we're halfway through our time raising you in our home.  You seem so grown up in a lot of ways this year.  

This year of your life you've traveled to Sri Lanka, Kuwait, Germany, France, and of course, the U.S., Saudi and Bahrain.  Seeing you surf in Sri Lanka was a highlight for us.  You and your brother just popped right up over and over again and it was a favorite parenting moment to watch you learn and dig in at something unique like that.  Playing with Andrew in France was a highlight for you.  And for us.  You two are very similar and could just chat in the back seat of a van or walking around a market for hours on end.  It was interesting to overhear a few of your conversations and recognize that your instincts are good, your heart is in the right place, and also that the topics of conversation are changing.  You're growing up a little bit and you have mixed feelings about it some days.  This was the first trip where you didn't want to get a stuffed animal for a souvenir and that made shopping for a souvenir a little tricky.  And a little sad.  You didn't really know what to choose since you were out growing stuffed animals.  It's a funny in-between phase.  Not quite a child, but not quite a teen yet.  We'll get you through it all right.

This has been a big year.  Your baptism over the summer was relaxed and perfect.  The spirit was so strong when you came out of the water with that big smile on your face and gave your dad a huge hug.  We are so proud of you and the way you've upped your game this year.  You've been using Grampa's prayer coin to remind you to pray every morning and evening.  You remind us when we haven't prayed before a meal or that we need to read scriptures before stories at bed time.  You try to be reverent and answer questions during FHE.  You're trying to be more reverent and figure out what the sacrament means to you.  You're very concerned about your little cousin, Mads and you never forget to mention him in your prayer and he's always the first person you think of when we ask what you want to fast for each month. 

You finished second grade off well and seemed to have a good experience with Mr. Bremmer.  This year you have Mrs. McGee.  She seems to be a good fit.  She's positive and calm and has high expectations without being a disciplinarian.  There's no homework in her class, which you love.  She's been really great at keeping an eye on you and helping you manage situations that make you anxious.  You had a few months of OT this fall to work on your handwriting and it's improved so much.  

This year has been very busy.  You and your brother both played 3-4 sports in the fall and the spring and it's been MUCH busier than previous years.  I can't imagine how busy it will be when your sisters are old enough to add their activities to the schedule.  This fall you played soccer, basketball, had swimming lessons and OT.  This spring you're in gymnastics, tennis, and basketball.  Your dad coaches you in most everything and he knows how to push you and still make it fun and positive. You've decided that soccer is not your thing.  You just didn't love it.  You like basketball more and you are getting quite good at tennis.  You've got a great arm.  Wendy Weitzel is teaching you and Finn along with her two kids and we were very lucky to get in with her.  She's a great coach and you're improving a lot.  You've also started cub scouts this year.  You seem to like it and it's only 1-2 times a month.  Your leaders are Naomi Killough and Leslie Arnold and a lot of kids from our group are in there with you.  You've been able to go on a couple of overnight camping trips with your Dad and I think you've really enjoyed having that experience.  

With piano practice and sometimes multiplication flashcards or an extra math worksheet, our afternoons fill up quickly.  You feel busy and that can be overwhelming.  You don't want to drop any of your activities but you feel busy.  Hopefully we're squeezing in enough down time and fun, especially on the weekends, to keep you having fun and being a kid.  It's a tricky age because we want you to be able to try anything and everything you want to while you're still young so you can figure out which things are your favorites.  But we don't want to over-schedule you or our family.  Once again, kiddo, the fact that you're our first kid means that we're trying to figure things out right along with you.  We love you so so much, Tate and we're glad that you're patient with us as we try to help you along and learn how to parent you.  

This year you've been able to sign up for a club to attend once a week after school and you signed up for chess first, then lego building, and next is 3-d printing.  You love playing with legos.  Building the sets is fun.  But you could spend hours putting together tiny creations with different pieces.  Robots, vehicles with awesome weapons, etc.  Your favorite creations are usually small but have really developed stories that go along with them.  You also love reading and playing with your friends.  Fablehaven has been a favorite series this year.  You finished the whole series and you enjoyed the mythical creatures and legends that tied into their adventures.  We've been reading Harry Potter 4 and now 5 at night together and you still love those stories.  You've been going through some friend shifts a bit this year.  A couple of your friends haven't shown the kindest sides and you're feeling like you need to make some changes with how you spend your recesses.  It's been hard for you to figure out how to still be kind to them but not be with them all the time.  You're working through it though.  You've got a lot of kids who are friends and are really good kids.  We're lucky right now.  This year you got some roller blades at the sports equipment swap and you've taken to them really quickly.  Any time it's nice out you want to be outside playing with squirt guns or skating or riding your bike.  

You're getting to be a better eater.  You'll eat broccoli and green beans without too much persuasion.  You don't love them, but you'll eat them. You'll pretty much always eat chicken.  You'll eat apple slices with your sandwich every day.  Always with a fork.  You don't want to touch them.  You're so funny.  You don't love sauces.  If we make pasta, chicken, or anything with a sauce you'd prefer to have it on your plate before we put the sauce on.  You're not a dipper either.  You don't like ranch or ketchup.  No sauces.  You like eggs and breakfast is definitely your favorite meal.  You don't love when things are mixed.  I totally relate to that.  We had bacon wrapped green beans last night and you just kind of wanted them separate and then you would eat them both.

Piano is going well this year.  You are supposed to practice your technic every morning before school and then we do the songs after school.  You get in there and get your technique done by yourself and rarely need to be reminded.  You like to have a checklist.  Just like me.  You love checking things off as you play them and making sure you know the correct tempos and keys.  Chores are pretty much a breeze.  You can clean a bathroom all by yourself now and we just check on the quality when you're done.  On Saturdays we do chores and a really good piano practice and you just know to expect it and hardly ever complain.  Sometimes we let you order books from book orders at school and you are highly motivated to do extra chores to earn them.   

Tate, your siblings love you.  You and Finn can disappear into a lego box or play with squirt guns or bikes in our cul-de-sac all afternoon if we let you.  You guys rarely fight.  You certainly know how to bother him and he knows how to bother you, but for the most part you two are great buddies.  This year you've been getting more involved with your sisters.  They're quite a bit younger than you but you read them books if we ask you to and push them on the swings.  They love to have water fights with spray bottles and don't mind you soaking them one bit as long as they get to play with you.  I think that might change, but for now they like it. 

You're a remarkable boy, Tate-o.  You're very smart. You did your first standardized testing at school this year and you did exceptionally well.  You've got a tender heart and feel and cry easily when you feel sad or even when something sad happens to someone else or someone in a story.  You want everything to be good and kind and smooth and it breaks your heart a little when that doesn't happen.  You try to do what's right and you can be really hard on yourself if you feel like you've done something wrong.  You can be a complete goof and you love to be wrestled or chased.  

We love you so much, Tate.  We've had so much fun watching you grow for the past 9 years.  We're very proud of who you are and we know you're going to do amazing things in your life.  

The world is yours, my boy.

Love,

Mom