I have a friend...

This past week we stayed with some friends in Austin for 5 days. It was wonderful. They were so accommodating and fun to play with. We even fit in a double date! Glenn had to do some recruiting at UT for work, so my friend and I played for days and I learned/was reminded of a couple of things:

- I remembered what it feels like to be around my dear friend. The almost feels like family kind of friend. The kind of friend who would drop everything to help you if you needed it, AND you wouldn't feel the least bit guilty about it because she'd be entirely willing and genuinely grateful for the chance to be of help. I miss that. I have a hard time feeling that close to people for some reason. A lot of it probably has to do with feeling guilty when I need help. I feel like I need to be able to return favors and feel needed in return in order to somehow justify the times when I need help. Some people just don't need me like that. They have other good friends, or family close by, or they're just really independent. The guilt is a big part of it. I know it's dumb. I'm working on that. But I realized how much I miss having her close by.

- This friend makes me want to be better. I left her home with my mind (and planner) filled with ideas about how to be a better neighbor, friend, member of the church. She struggles with feeling lonely sometimes as well, and yet, she's determined to make the most of every opportunity to serve and fellowship. Something as simple as a Halloween treat swap becomes an opportunity to fellowship and reach out to those in the ward who might get left out because they're not in any "group". She's pretty cool that way.

Basically, I feel refreshed from the break and inspired to do better and try harder. And at the same time, I miss her today.

So thanks for the reminders, my friend.