Dear Taryn,
You are one year old today. I have no idea how that happened so fast. It seems like moments ago that we were sitting together in the Aramco hospital. I couldn't stop kissing your tiny cheeks, marveling at this baby girl in my arms. The tiniest little baby I'd ever held and I couldn't believe you were mine. Couldn't believe that I somehow got lucky enough to be the mom to not just one baby girl, but two. I had a few moments of inspiration after we found out we were going to be having two baby girls, that is of course, after the initial complete panic. First, a good friend of mine from Texas talked to me about her mixed feelings about having her third boy and the things she felt she'd miss without having a daughter of her own. Things I hadn't considered before. Being able to help you and your sister go through the temple some day. Helping you pick out your wedding dress. Helping you care for your own babies some day. Things I'll do with your brothers, but in a very different way than I'll be able to do with my little girls. And then I thought a lot about my sister, your Auntie Mallo. Maybe because she was living with us when we found out about the two of you. Maybe just because I was thinking a lot about sisters. I thought about how Auntie Mallo and I were just four years apart in age and those tiny four years made what seemed like an insurmountable gap between us when we were young. We seemed too far apart to be really close. It wasn't until we were much older that those four years seemed so tiny. Now we're the best of friends. But now it feels like we missed so many years of being best friends. I was so glad that you have your own sister. A sister who's just four minutes older than you. A sister who has your back, knows your struggles, and is learning and changing right along with you. Growing teeth with you, learning to crawl with you, trying new foods with you. I hope that you two will be close. As close as sisters can be. I'm sure there will be times when you drive each other crazy. But I'm just so glad that your dad and I didn't ever have to wonder if there were going to be three of four kiddos in our family. Your Father in Heaven knew that you two belonged with us. And that you'd need each other in this life.
Taryn, I love you so much, little girl. You're a darling little peanut. You've gone through little phases of stranger danger but for the most part you're the sunniest little girl. Your smile lights up your whole face from your eyes to your teensy chin and I've yet to meet anyone who can look at your little face while you're smiling and not smile back. It's infectious and beautiful and it's a gift, hon. From the very beginning we could tell there was something innately happy about your little soul. Your cheerfulness is so bubbly and easy.
Your brothers adore you, T. We've called you a lot of little nicknames but our favorite two are Sweet T and Taryn-y. That one is from Finn. He's in a phase of naming everything what it is with an -y at the end. (Beary the bear, Bitey the shark, Car-y the car...). When you first came home from the hospital he started calling you Taryn-y and he said it in the cutest little baby talk voice. Pretty soon we were all saying it too. That Finn, he has your number. He cannot get enough of you and your sister. Since the day you learned to smile and then the day you learned to giggle he has been able to get those smiles and giggles quicker and brighter than anyone else on earth. You, Kenna and Finn, you have something special. Finn had every right to be thrown for a loop when you two showed up, but he couldn't be more pleased to have you two around to entertain, wrestle, and goof off with. It makes me so happy to see him love you with his whole heart.
Tate adores you guys as well. He's not quite as physical about it but man does he love to show you off. He's so proud of his two little sisters. He tells everyone every where we go that he has two baby sisters. And he tells me all the time, "Mom, I love our babies. They're the cutest babies ever." And every time he prays he remembers to bless our babies. He's going to take good care of you two.
You're an adventurous little squirt and the few months that you've been crawling have been much busier than the previous months. You're into every drawer and cupboard. Pull on every plug and stick your fingers in every outlet. You've recently discovered splashing in toilets that your brothers leave open and holding down the cold water spigot on the water cooler until it soaks you and the floor. I don't know if you're going to "learn" any time soon to stop getting into the few things in every room that we've told you not to. We keep trying to teach you but we're pretty sure that knowing that you shouldn't, is precisely what motivates you to do it. But with you and your sister getting into the same stinkery situations all the time, it's a little overwhelming sometimes.
We've traveled all over the world together this year. When you were just three months old you went with us to London to watch your Daddy run a marathon. Since then you've been to the United States for the first time, Dubai, Oman, Spain, Italy, Monaco, France, Germany and Austria. It's been an incredible year, baby girl. And while I know you won't remember these things because you're just too new to the world, we wouldn't do them without you. We love watching your eyes as you see the chocolate molds spinning at the chocolate factory. See the smile on your face as you explore the splash pad on the cruise ship, and watch your teensy chubby legs swinging in the front pack as we walk through Pompeii. Exploring the world with two teensy babies isn't easy, but luckily you two are extraordinarily good babies.
You LOVE the water. When you were too little to splash you'd fall asleep on our shoulders in the hot sun while we were holding you in the cool pool. Once you got old enough to sit up in the bath you started to splash. You giggle and fall on your tummy, splashing water in your eyes and mouth and not minding one bit. You're going to be a little fish just like your brothers and we're SO glad.
I don't know if you love to eat. You'll eat pretty much anything we put in front of you and you'll get mad when you're hungry. The only thing you've said, "pass" to is green beans. But otherwise you'll put it down. It seems like more of a "have to" than a "want to" though. There are things that make your eyes light up but food doesn't seem, at this stage, to be one of those.
Story time has gotten to be really fun lately. You and Kenna will sit on my lap, lean your heads against my chest and against each other and then you hold really still, breathing deeply while I read. Usually you're the one turning pages. Either because Kenna's arm is pinned under your arm or because you two have just decided that's your job. Then like clockwork, as soon as the last page is turned you both squirm and cry trying to get away, knowing that nap time is coming next!
You're good little sleepers for the most part. You're still taking a morning and afternoon nap. Usually they're about an hour and a half each. Sometimes you and K go through phases of having nightmares for a few nights in a row. It's the saddest thing to see you so upset in your sleep and we feel so helpless trying to calm you down. Luckily, as with most tricky things, you two seem to take turns. It's a rare moment when both of you are upset or not sleeping well or sick at the same time. It's a huge blessing that usually only one of you is in desperate need at one time. I hope that trend continues because it feels really helpless on those rare moments when you do both need me and I have to make one of you wait.
You know what, Taryn? I really wasn't sure about this whole having twin girls thing. I had two little boys and I loved them so much and I wasn't sure about how good a mother I'd be to two little girls. But I couldn't imagine my life without you. You and K make our lives complete. Every single day I have a moment where I feel so proud and happy that I think my heart might burst, looking at you and your siblings playing together. Or seeing you learn to clap or shake your head, "no". Or seeing how different your smile looks with teensy teeth coming in. And those moments make all the logistically tricky things so worth it.
I'll miss baby you. So so much. I've really loved getting to know you this year. Watching your tiny body grow. Watching you learn new things. Watching you grow hair, stand up, play with toys. Learning the things that make you excited and the things that make you sad. Holding you tight and feeling your teensy arms and hands squeeze me back while you let out a gorgeous little happy squeal. I'll miss all of these things. You've been a great little baby, sweetheart. And I know that you'll be just as great as a one year old.
Thanks for a wonderful year you little darling. I love you.
The world is yours,
Mom
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