About Us

About Us
Glenn and I have been married for ten spectacular years. We recently moved to Saudi Arabia, which is obviously very far away from both of our families. We keep this blog updated so we can stay close to our friends and fam and to keep a record of our family adventures. Glenn is enjoying his new job and I am loving being a stay-at-home mom. We have two sweet little boys, Tate and Finn and two darling twin baby girls, Taryn and Kenna. We love them to pieces. We also love date nights, good movies, good food, and being with each other.
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Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Control

So maybe I like control. I've been doing a really good job, for me, adjusting to our move here. It's three weeks later and today I'm starting to break down a little bit. This is hard. I've been positive. I've made the best. I've been outgoing, and today I'm tired.
It's a number of things really. My sweet Tate has turned into a food and tantrum throwing mess the last few days. I hope that he's getting new teeth. I hope that he's feeling under the weather because those things will pass whereas if this is a personality shift I'm in trouble. I'm trying to cut the kid a break because I did just take him away from everyone and everything he's familiar with, and he does still have so so many sweet moments. I'm just not used to him being so picky and whiney all the time.
I think it all boils down to this: I can't control my life right now. I can't control where we're going to live in 6 or 12 or 18 months. I can't control how many close friends I have here. I can be outgoing and try to put myself out there. (It kind of feels like I'm dating again. Who will be a good match for me? Can I have your phone number? Where are you from? How many kids are in your family? Wanna have dinner sometime?) But ultimately, it just takes time to make real connections and real friendships with people. I can't control what Tate will eat or how many times he spits things out down his clothes and onto the floor right after his bath, though I do try.

Through all of this, I've found that I enjoy my exercise so much more. That's why I'm committing to training for a half marathon. I'm recording it, I'm committing. I've been training for about three weeks with the attitude of, "I'll try it and see how hard it is. I don't know if I really want to run 13 miles. Who wants to do that? I just won't tell anyone in case I decide not to." I want to do it. Not because I like running. I don't. I really like the feeling when I'm done but honestly, I have a hard time pushing myself very hard or very far. It's all a mental game and it's hard. But I like being able to exercise and it's the easiest way to exercise with Tate because I just push him in our jogging stroller. I've been running for over a year and my body can take it. It's starting to get easier. I want to be able to push myself that hard. I want to be able to tell my son that he can run and be in good shape because I can do it. I don't love to run, but lately, in my out of control state, I'm really enjoying the feeling of pushing my body harder and farther. I tell it not to stop and it won't. I tell myself to ignore that little voice telling me how bored I am and how I'm tired and would like to just stop, and then I just ignore it.
So now I'm committed. I'm going to run the Galveston Seawall half marathon on November 20th and as of today, with my run of the day complete, I'm feeling optimistic.

I know the adjustment will continue to get easier. It really hasn't been too bad. Today has just been rough and thus the venting.

8 comments:

Amanda and Miles said...

Good for you girl! oh, and kids make you feel out of control lots of times.

Tiffany said...

So I found your blog and now I am stalking it. I am sorry there are so many changes going on right now and life is hard to control, but hooray for running!!!! I don't know many people that really love running, they love the feeling afterwards and the feeling of being a runner. Did you find a program to follow or are you just going for it? I am so excited for you, you are going to do great!

Amberly said...

oh kim. will you please come here so I can give you a hug and we can cry together?! I KNOW that out of control feeling and it is overwhelming. I completely understand that exercise and power over your body is one thing you can control- and I'm super proud of you for attempting a half marathon! You can totally do it and you will love that you did. Keep us posted on your progress.. love you to pieces!!

Anonymous said...

I'm with you on the control thing. I'll flat out admit I'm a control kind of gal. Go with what you can control. You're so cute. Friends will come...but you already know that. Luv ya!

The Hunt's said...

Everyone is entitled to a few vent and/or cry sessions after a move. Kids included. I think Tate is just struggling like you, it will pass, as will this rough phase. You have the right perspective and you are dealing with it the right way. I have always run as much for my emotional health as for my physical health. It can remain a steady constant no matter where you are. And as for a signing up for a half..whoo, whoo!!

Amy Mak said...

Ah...it is hard! Motherhood is hard - the transitions from controlling so much to letting go is hard...love the post and I'm so proud of you, runner girl.

Brittany @ My Decoupaged Life said...

i'm telling you....email me! mackenzie and tate are so close in in age and we live in the same city!
brittfitz1225@hotmail.com

AM said...

yeah for running (literally) your problems away! i always feel so much better about my ability to handle life after exercising =o] moving is hard and you are such a sweetheart- keep you chin up!